Monday, April 24, 2023

Decades

The whole thing felt smaller. Decades
Ago, when I began and still tried
To impress the men in stiff shirts. Proud
Of having lost 20 pounds on eating beans
To impress the women in long black skirts
And with unicorn pink tips. Highlights
Of years served and bar reviews that 
Averaged on the better side of OK. 
I got there, boys. The reward is
Staying. To see others wriggle and maybe
Thrive. Decades still to go.

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Seasons

 Never had a job that was outdoors. Not for lack of trying. At a younger age, I wanted to work for the National Park Service and attended universities by the sea. But, all my jobs had some connection/view of the outdoors

Coffee shop: Big plate windows to the street and shop sat over Trumansburg Creek.

Warehouse jobs: These were ancient warehouses often unheated and definitely not air conditioned. Animals would pour in through broken windows and torrents of water during hard rains

School job: Always away from my desk for something. Searching grounds for litter. Bringing in deliveries and tossing garbage. Working the dismissal line.

But, in my new job, I am, indeed, at a desk. A nice desk in a nice office for sure but its a desk job. Seasonality is lost on me. Leaving at the end of the day is disconnected from the start. Its darker. Colder or warmer. And its sudden and stark like transitions in a video game. 

I miss that excuse to be outside and feel some connection to the elements. Co workers will say its too cold in the office and I recall standing in an empty parking lot waiting for the distinct broken bumper of the green Nissan signifying the last parent was here for their kid. Its cold over by the conference room but cold usually meant staring into other co-workers eyes when that was you could see. The rest bundled under hats and parka hoods. Often this was loading a truck, the metal walls humming back the chill. On better, yet still freezing days, its the loose wisps of hair of a work crush dangling over her eyes. 

Working at a school, fall meant new bulletin boards. At the warehouse, it was leaves stuck to the sky light windows so that spotty shadows dropped onto the cement. At the shop it was leaf shaped raspberry cookies and new drinks to sell. At the office job, it depends on the prowess of the HR team signing people up for the costume contest. 

Saturday, April 22, 2023

People Watching

In Northeast Ohio there is a manic discount grocery/small box store called Marc's. Its owned by a local ersatz celerity/villain named Marc Glassman who has a walrus looking mustache and glasses. His carton mascot version is festooned all over the stores. Above end caps with the latest deal. Right above the door pointing to the exit sign.
These stores are if Aldi rolled down a hill. And, Katamari style, they picked up all kinds of other junk and landed in between a Home Depot and a movie theater. More recent stores have a glo up with a happy block logo with a green leaf (To denote freshness, I bet) but the legacy stores are set in functioning has been energy. 
At some point they have away free coffee at the customer service desk. Where you would go to get cigarettes or rent the carpet cleaners they had a silvery urn of weak scalding bean water. The stuff funeral homes wouldn't serve to the dead
You can buy aluminum foil wrapped Nathan's hot dogs at Marcs. But not from a snack bar but a heated island in the deli. Next to the produce there are wilted African violets and an overflowing "seasonal" section with three dollar slides and knock off toys. Instead of Legos...Mega Brix. 
Lots of good people watching at Marc's. The only benefit when I find myself in there. Privilege check: I find myself in the social strata where I can just go to Target but Marc's is cheap and there for a reason. Sometimes I need a four dollar pack of Gia Nonna Momma (Must be San Marino's favorite coffee, yes) and that hits the spot. And there you see the old timers in marshmallow doughy shoes. A lot of people carrying oxygen tanks and people wearing pajamas out.
And not nice pajamas like when wearing black yoga pants then layering some sort of top/dress over it for this tunic look. People in knotty pilled sweatpants and oversized shirts from Hot Topic. What does the person wearing plaid pajama pants and the Great Malenko ICP shirt have to say of the price of Voom detergent?

Long Night of Solace

I think I'm going to put the blog formally on hiatus. I've reached a comfortable nadir in my life, edging between depression and spu...