Enjoy Your Own Thanksgiving

 Folks, I am excited for the cancelled holidays. We have such short memories but every year its the same recycled takes. 

"Who wants to travel for Thanksgiving?"

"I do not want to see my racist uncle. I don't want to have to explain why I am not yet married. Why I don't have kids. While I still rent. Etc, etc" 

"I do not have the time to clean and host 15 something people in my place!"

"I DO NOT want to talk politics with my family. Someone will turn on the news and then, shit, well there is my racist uncle"

 Lovely glossy magazines and well photographed listicles will tempt us every year with new dishes to try when we are supremely sit in the same plates each and every year. We will bemoan early sales that take away from the "spirit" of the holiday and justify why its OK those folks at WalMart are there at 5pm. "Hey, they give them dinner there! They got TWO Thanksgivings"

There will be stern twitter warning from folks more woke than us saying to consider not everyone has a loving family and to be sensitive of those people who cannot (or should not) see their families. "My family told me to never come back when I said I was trans. So, fuck them. I never did" 

However, in the inverted year of 2020 now everyone believes it is not just their right but THEIR DUTY to see everyone they can. Those cousins three times removed who live in Billing, MT? Oh, we NEED to be able to lick their damn eyeballs. It is my right!

No better way to entice someone then tell them they can't have it. Every parent knows this. Every school teacher. I once knew a teacher who would cover up a bookshelf in a blanket at the beginning of the year. And the kids would freak the fuck out. 

"Ms, Iorio! Ms. Iorio, WHAT IS UNDER THE BLANKET!?"

"You will have to wait and see!"

And those kids poked and scooted closer to it until it was revealed it was just books! Ready for one we mastered the earlier texts.

But when leadership doesn't back these appeals to common decency and the social contract with consequences then we get the eye ball licking. Folks sneering as they pour over a Norman Rockwell spread tinted by pandemic undertones. Let us the Instagram filter of Biohazard. Smile, everyone!

Blame capitalism. Blame the perversion of American conservatism from a sort of rugged individualism to a perpetual state of sorrow. Blame China. Blame the Karens and Chads. This is nuanced for sure and our hyper polarized world does not allow for that. So, pick your poison and hopefully stay home.

I will and relish a Thanksgiving spent with my nuclear family and no people I need to pretend to enjoy.