Playing

 I wish there was a single picture, meme, or GIF to describe how my kids play with one another. With other kids, they are total people pleasers but when together its a mix of manic spiraling aggressiveness bookended by spinning giggle attacks or hot hot tears.

I called them over on time, when i was on the stoop and asked "Are you guys having fun? Is this fun for you?"

And they said, "Yes, but not so much. Lets go back inside."

First, there is only a semblance of a game. There are pieces. Madcap Lego creations and cool shape sticks and piles of rocks. Stuffed animals especially the myriad Beanie Boo stuffies.  They are the original Beanie Babies made a bit larger and with dilated cat high on cat nip eyes. 

And the kids will clutch these in the crook of their arm or tucked into their shirts while they prowl around each other uttering the same cadence.

Now, pretend...

"Now, pretend that I have super powers."

"Now, pretend that in this story I am married but my wife isn't here."

"Now, pretend they got hurt."

"Now, pretend the wheel on his car fell off."

Now, pretend, pretend, pretend, pretend.

Its playing by going two steps forward and one step back.

Kid 1: "Ok. Now, pretend that I have a laser on my ship. Ok...ZAAAAPPPPP!"

Kid 2: "Ok, now pretend that they didn't get shot they jumped in a hole. JUMP!"

Kid 1: "No! Pretend that the hole was closed up by a monster and..."

Kid 2: "Now, pretend that they dug using their claws."

When I was young my dad would tease me by saying McDonalds, in the fast food joint, as McDougals and it got under my skin for some dumb reason. Like when you go to someone's house and they hang the toiler paper wrong or having dinner at a friend's house and the shock when they say grace before a meal. Maybe, my heathen family should?

In any case, I like to channel my dad and just iterate to the kids "Pretend, pretend, pretend, pretend" which drives them insane but serves them right since playing is more a stylized kid kabuki. 

There is also a dance to this. A sort of prowling West Side Story bit where they circle each other and also bounce from end to end. The couches at opposing ends of the living room. The ends of the driveway. A certain pile of sticks in the yard. With all their gear, particularly the sticks, which are often dragged because they got armloads of Ash Dragon and Asia and Santa Gangster Snowman stuffed animals, its a baby war dance.

The ritual ends when one decides to just say fuck it and declare themselves out. Note, this can often be me because its inane and non-sensical. "Can you guys just play. Instead of saying "Now, pretend" maybe just try He jumps, you jump. She flies, you dig underground!"

My kids need no ball. They just need their chant and a wide enough sidewalk to keep them at bay.