Wednesday, November 22, 2023

Heat Check

There is no heat like the heat of a crappy A-frame house. Bonus sweat if it is a rental where the landlord's son crashes in between tenants. He has left behind an assortment of thrift shop plates and cutlery. All in varying sizes and designs like a college apartment where everything is purloined from dining halls and SWAG give aways.

Up there it's an unnatural temperature. This specific set of air was never meant to sit under pine jousts and knob and tube wiring. There is always a single lonely light bulb for illumination and when it goes out, you are in the teeth of a dragon.

It's suffocating. Imagine dunking your head into a basket of towels pulled too early from rhe dryer. It doesn't just hit the skin and make you roll your sleeves but makes you want to simply abandon the idea of clothes. It's the waft of heat when opening an oven save that it sits like a thermal fog over the box of Christmas decorations.

I've lived in too many place like this. One where it boiled away my guppies in the fish tank. To save the others I had to regularly drip ice cubes into the tank. One that I owned where the house was wonderful but the attic and basement were both metaphorical warts. In this house is where we saw the husk of a rat (maybe squirrel) merged into the pine and ancient insulation. One place didn't have stairs into the A frame space. Instead you pulled a wooden panel off a closet wall and climbed up an angled ladder (like Discovery Zone. If anyone does read this I know they are 90s kids) to the area. We sparingly used this so we made this room my daughter's nursery. During holidays she would watch from her crib and chatter to us as we dragged boxes from the attic and made the temperature go up by five degrees.

"It would be awful to die here," said my mother once when we toured the home we owned and showed her the strangled sirroco air of the attic. I guess she is right save what would be great places to die? Surrounded by family with no pain? In a blaze of glory after kissing your lover and saying to never forget me? That is more a time than place. A cool place for sure.

Monday, November 20, 2023

Live From Rio

In the 11th grade, I sat behind a Brazilian-American girl in almost every class, Natalia. My high school had small classes (45 kids total in my entire class, 15 to a room usually) and it also had "tracks." If you were "smart" then you took, in 11th grade, AP Bio or Chem, English Honors, Spanish Honors, Trig or Calc, and then two specials of which you were encouraged to take AP French as it was the only AP special. If you weren't  "smart" then you took all this just "regular" versions. 
Me sitting behind Natalia was a matter of schedule and also because I majorly crushed on her. I made a point to go to volleyball games after school to just spend more time being her number 1 (secret) fan. Natalia then left at end of junior year to not graduate with us but we both ended up in same college town (on opposite hills and schools) and last time I physically saw her was leaving an Incubus concert at Cornell we had both attended in a sort of low key and very uneventful fake date.

That all said, this is a post about Taylor Swift. 

Natalia posted on her social media "Its Happening" and it wad her hand outstretched and fingers flared to make a perfect high five hand. And then several hemp bracelets on her wrist with beaded lettering saying "be love" The next post is her with glitter on her face "Taylor Swift in Rio!" That is much more evocative then seeing Taylor Swift in say Amway Arena in greater Orlando, Florida.

I like plenty a Taylor Swift song. I have a penchant for "hair brush" female led pop and pretty sure these are  not deep cuts but I like "Shake It Off" and "Anti Hero" and "Blank Space" and "Style" and "Bad Blood" I can't do the rom coms but a song about breakup and/or not needing a man and well, son of a bitch, I'm in!

If you have read this blog (And for that I am both appreciative and apologetic) then you have likely known I associate songs to the scenes I score with them. Most often these are adventure type fantasies with super heroes or everyday folks saving the day. They are sometimes very personal as I score the commute as I race to the office or a denouement type song after a stupid day.i hear a song and think "can someone have a sword fight to this? Or "would this make a good song to cold open a TV episode?"

This all lends to liking much more theatrical and instrumental pieces. I am part of the generation that typed into YouTube and Limewire  "Gundam Wing final episode song" searching for those esoteric sounds.

Sometimes I will use a "normal" song in these scenes. Normal songs are songs with words and/or not from movies/tv/video games. One is "Cruel Summer" which I'll use to cold open an episode with my usual heroine, star of show of former blog posts. In it she sits on the cornices of a tall building. Batman and Daredevi brood but this is more like Spider-Man and its hidden reflection up where the city she swears to protect has some limit. It is late September and just chilly enough she brought hooded zip up sweatshirt up that she has draped over her shoulders. "Cruel summer" is a, no surprise, poppy love song about a forbidden relationship. In this scene we don't get to those lyrics but instead mostly just rely on the modulated drum line and refrain "Crueeeel summah!" Because she is reflecting in what made the summer cruel and in this story its not a bad romance (However lonely it is being a hero) but its something else. Day job going poorly beacuse of all the heroic. Family members targeted beacuse someone found out who she really was. An embarrassing video of her taking a hit and tumbling over into a subway line. She won that fight later, no worries, but it made it online. Just thinking of ways it was a cruel summer and hoping the fall improves, which it will, beacuse these are all made up stories anyway and why would it be anything but triumphant? 

These sound better in my head.



Sunday, November 19, 2023

Pet Poultry

There is a Tractor Supply Co in Fairview Park, Ohio, next to the Ace Hardware and across from El Rodeo Mexican restaurant. This would be fine save Fairview Park is a Cleveland suburb as firmly not rural. It is mostly known for looking the same as the four other suburbs that surrond it save Fairview Park has the "good" Target and an ongoing saga over the defunct community pool. Both liner and roof of the indoor pool have leaks and finger pointing has been furious. 

The store has to cater to weekend yard warriors. The kind of guys and ladies that rake every leaf of the yard and need all the toys.  This TSC also has the rural trapping of selling live baby chick's. Doubr Fairview has zoning that allows chickens. Neighboring Cleveland allows them but your dream coop is behind red tape and clemency of city hall. Further west you do get "cities" that, 15 years ago, were fields so maybe people truck in from North Ridgeville to get chucks to have them run around the ample acreage out in Lorain County.

The chicks make for quick win with kids, especially when they were younger. It is the mall pet store from our youth where you could lose time seeing actual puppies in windows and tropical fish on neon blue gravel. The kids would glee and ask to keep one and we would tell them just how impractical it all is.

I had pet chickens growing up. Around Easter the local supermarket back home in Rio Piedras would sell dyed baby chicks. We would walk in and to the left was makeshift wire pen (like a baby corral. It likely was some general managers baby corral) with thrown pine hamster bedding, straw and corn. Then dozens of baby chicks in pink, slime green and electric blue. Reading this now it all must sound horrific (and indeed it was wrong and fucked up but it wad Puerto Rico, a godless country where peiope would sell dogs under highway overpasses) but to me it was firmly enchanting and bucolic. 
My mother bought me two! A green and blue one we let run around our backyard. This was a time after my mom's old dog, Punky, had passed but before she got me my first dog so the birds were free to rumble around the yard, picking at insects and the mangoes fallen from the neighbor's tree. 

They molted away the neone and turned the normal earth tons of the average chickens. One was a rooster and I don't remember it crowing but it was also Puerto Rico where it was standard to see someone ride on horse down a highway. 
They were sort of just there until one day they were not.

"They died of blindess," is what my mother said. I took this as absolute fact. The timig coincided with a visit from my grandmother who, according to my mother, "loved me in her own way." Note that I know tell my children this same platitude of my mother to them. But, my grandmother was firmly old school Puerto Rico, grown up in a time when the divide between urban and rural could be measured in decades. 

I never saw bodies or a grave. They were just gone and my grandmother back on her way three hours away to the west coast. Did she take them in a cage on "la Linea?" La Linea was an informal bus network made of large vans that plodded between towns. Like an island wide taxi on a set route. I guarantee live poultry has moved along these vans but did my grandmother do that? Or did she butcher them and take them fresh frozen? My grandmother once said she tried to quiet a neighbor's dog by throwing hunks of beef laced with pellet rat poison and she carried a can on bug spray on walks to dissuade neighbor hood strays. I could see her thick hands do the deed of wringing their necks and turning them into a stew.

I believed the blindness lie well into adulthood until someone pointed out "How could a chicken die of blindess?" In my personal dictionary that is the memory associated with epiphany.


Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Sword Tuesday

Reporting today that around 8am on a lowly Tuesday I saw a young woman crossing Euclid Avenue wearing a green hoodie and a pair of fencing rapiers. Her hood was up and she dragged a rolling backpack wheeled bag behind her. Noted that I automatically swore fidelity to thr mysterious woman walking downtown with swords. Occams razor would say it's stage props or some student club, but this blog is not a realm of logic. She had to have been saving the day! Or doing some crime! But, nothing as basic as returning from a practice. 

Friday, November 10, 2023

Taunting

My best friend growing up had a handy crafty dad whose day job was architect. He made a live tabletop war mini game called "Tanks and Battleships" with ships made of painted clothespins and tiny tanks made of cork and balsa wood. It's the miniature scene out of Bettlejuice just much more homespun and focused on WW2 style island hopping combat. Like big boy tabletop games (like Warhammer 40K) it was all about range and how much your guys could move. And dice. The rules...well I don't remember ever seeing a rule book or agreement but six was the truth. You wanted a six. It is like hitting a 20 in Dungeons and Dragons. Why we didn't use d20s I never thought about until I was much older so we just slummed it with six sided dice. 

My friend invented the ultimate cripied taunt to throw off your roll. We will be 40 something years old and check in twice a year on our respective birthdays and we will say "Dice demon, dice demon! No more six!"

When you hit a six after being taunted...you felt like a God. When the taunt worked and you didn't hit a six then you just wanted to be very very small.

I'll scream dice demon in non rolling situations. Dice demon people throwing free throws or fully loaded baseball counts. Dice demon your boss when they ask for a volunteer and they are forced by the collective unwillingness of the team to pick someone to talk. "You guys are a tough crowd so I'll have to pick someone...."

Hit them with "Dice demon! Dice demon! Pick someone else!"

Thursday, November 09, 2023

Rice with French Fries

My doctor will hate me for this but nothing beats the double starch. Bread plus more bread equals absolute win.

Talking things like the peirogi dumplings stuffed with potato and fried onion. Or throwing some potato chips on a ham and cheese sandwich. That always hits right after school or when you are high. There is a place in Pittsburgh, PA whose claim to fame is dropping fries inside your sandwich instead of on the side. I bet you can order them on the side but they give you a mean look and a record scratches in the background.

The zenith of double starch is Puerto Rican Chiness food. This cuisine is not much different than American-Chinese takeout style food save that it comes with fries. The standard plate is fried rice  (never white), the entree protein (there are no veggie stir fry or tofu options. The greensare in the rice you see) and then fries. That plate is both life and the ender of worlds.

The entree protein is only thing that alternates. I felt the most popular was Peppsr Steak which I am sure is an actual elegant dish in its native origins but in PR was a soupy slosh of green peppers and straps of cheap cuts of beef. The other big one was "al ajillo" which means "cooked with garlic." So anything just swimming in a garlic sauce. 

Note there was very little Chinese food delivery in PR so this was always a face to face experience. There are an estimated 450 Chinese restaurants in PR and i would guess 99% of them are the greasy pan cafeteria style heaven doling out fries with rice and orange chicken. These places also loved the word cream in them. I think one was also an ice cream place beacuse there was Star Cream and Star Cream II and my birthplace was known, among other midly interesting quirks, for having corn ice cream. At a place called Rex Cream. Served with cinammon dust I also think Rex Cream was always just an ice cream place but it somehow got the Cream moniker and it was confusing to me, at least.

I can't prove this story (can I any on the blog? Your trust matters most to me!) but in senior year of high school I broke put of my introverted shell and went on the semi organized senior beach weekend to Guanica, PR. I had no clue why save my mother insisted (so I could be just a bit more normal), another very introverted friend of mine was going (likely same reason as I) and there was a chance to see classmates in their swimsuits. Priyi and Marilyn were going and that was half of my HS hall of fame so for sure going! 
Here is where we drove by an abdoned Chinese place named, no joke, Kum War. The driver screeched to a stop and we took pictures blessed by both fluent English and adolescent asshattery. Did they know what they were doing!? No way! Someone said they would mail it to Maxim magazine, a sort of cheesier Esquire (The RC Cola to its Coke) that had a "Found Porn" mailbag column. The kind of place to send pictures of typos in local Penny Saver that read "Local ass saves the day" Not sure if he ever did. This being 2002ish would involve actually printing picture and sending a letter and that seemed a lot even for us quite privileged  (albeit we did not know it at time) high school kids.

There was a "better" Chinese food place my mother would order from called Kimpo Garden. That place delivered but it took hours (They move like an IV filled with road tar is what my mother would say. Sounds better in Spanish) and it did not have fries. But the lemon chicken came in whole deep fried breasts and actual slices of lemon so it felt elevated. If the place had a fish tank in the lobby then no way would it have fries. There was also Yum Yum Tree (apparently now closed) which was an Asian fusing thing that slung take out favorites and sushi. My mother and I loved sushi and would put away while bamboo boats of it. There she marveled at the front of house guy named Juan Chen who was "an Asian who can speak Spanish."

There is none around me but I will see the social media algorithm feed me stories of Puero Rican Chinese in the mainland states. You can recreat it at home. Get the local lunch special at the closets takeout place (Extra points if named something Cream) and then an order of fries from just about anywhere else save McDonald's because those fries are too thin and good for this. Burger King is food. Needs lots of heat and starch to let sauce entree do the work. No egg rolls needed.

Tuesday, November 07, 2023

Silent Alarm

 About two jobs ago, my cell phone got listed as the call number for the building's panic alarm. For the whole building so the daycare on the first floor, the revolving door business offices on second and third, and the travel agency in basement. It made great use of the glass window wells facing the outside adorning them with neon signs of palm trees and parrots. Whole pagodas and a hot pink flamingo wearing sunglasses. I worked for the building (changing lightbulbs and moving furniture around. Guiding trucks onto the small dock.) so I understood why someone volunteered my phone, but the only qualification I had was I worked there for more than two years. That seemed to be the cutoff.

I then subsequently left the job but they never changed the number. I would oddly get calls from the security company. "Is everything ok? Should we dispatch police?"

And I would have no answer save "Umm...not sure. I no longer work there."

Sometimes the agency would ask for a confirmation code. So, they could not send police. And I would also be at lost muddling in my mind for the passcode. Was it the name of the building "Altamira?" The number of the building? "3655?" The name of the owner and landlord "Millardo?" None of these worked and they would send the police for nothing. 

Someone accidentally bumped the plunger by the front lobby desk. Or a new hire wanted a chair on the left side of the welcome desk, instead of the standard right, and thought the white button was just some other geegaw to move around. 

It was always nothing. But, you never knew. Not in today's work world. I would text my former supervisor and remind him to change the number but he would ghost me. In my new job I once had to make a delivery to the third floor office (An adult GED center that took up basically the whole thing) and asked the teacher there if she knew of anyone. She did not and said she would ask her boss but that someone else took care of the business side. 

The last time they called I let is go directly to voicemail. I head the familiar voice "This is Northwest Security Service Solutions calling about a silent alarm." It was early afternoon and raining hard enough that water seeped through the weak seals of my windows. Must be something with the power like a spike or surge that caused it to spike. This time I imagined myself the hero. Cutting through the rain my black Honda Civic something much more predatory and menacing that would screech to a slide stop right by the big plate glass doors. Inside would be panic as people scramble for exits and winged villains try to snatch people away to fly through the skylight roof. There would be people fighting back. Those people I enjoyed working with or found charming. The lady on second floor (I think she worked in marketing for something. There was a print shop up there) with the long black braid and Lisa Loeb glasses would be there holding people back with a sword. Entering the fray I would not debate why I returned to some place that would not race back to me. 

Saturday, November 04, 2023

A post I didn't write

"My final day at the magic shop, I stood behind the counter where I had pitched Svengali decks and the Incredible Shrinking Die, and I felt an emotional contradiction: nostalgia for the present. Somehow, even though I had stopped working only minutes earlier, my future fondness for the store was clear, and I experienced a sadness like that of looking at a photo of an old, favorite pooch."

-Steve Martin, from his autobiography Born Standing Up

Sunday Morning

 My father was not a man of faith That is something I stole from him, that phrase I use to politely defuse the handsome couple at my door on...