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 It was always via text. Sometimes just a regular SMS. Sometimes over varying messenger apps (Facebook, Slack, Teams, Instagram chats, etc.) but it was always "I am writing something. Give me three things."

And it was random...1) Waterparks 2) Cheese wheels 3) Purple

1) Bocce 2) Celery Stalks 3) Macaroni and Cheese

1) Chocolate cake 2) Legs  3) Sunny days

So I fired up the random word generator and got these

No job seems immune to the constrained digital windows of the work all staff (or hands if your place is fancy) meeting. Regardless of how large the group there always seem to be a mix of people

• Muted and with cameras off
• Inversely, people firmly heard and seen with everything (every pin prick it seems) captured
• Deflated workers staring into the screen but always darting eyes to the all other work they are actually doing
• Overly eager people way too into it. These people are either new or the very rare overly sincere unicorn that actually get something from these.

The proportion varies depending on company morale but, something seemingly uniform across industries, is some sort of kickoff ice breaker or question.

"What is one word that people would use to describe your personality. Please keep it positive!"

In these situations, I really do try my best albeit my word is likely "Self loathing." Or "high functioning depression"

Sorry, those are two words. Can I go again? 

But, I try to put on an engaged face. Mostly out of respect for the presenters (Extra support if it is someone asked to be a moderator. Not some consultant or professional development pro but the team lead three cubes across from you. Or the department manager a few seats below VP levels) but sometimes ill get queued up for a joke and everyone will politely chuckle and that hit of dopamine is all worth it. 

What really sucks the air out of the phony digital room is the slithering personality that wants to use the whole forum to sling mud. This is a sign of a toxic workplace but someone will take the chance to tell everyone off in a passive aggressive matter.

Precursors to this (Seriously, if you hear these then just sink in your seat or throw your computer out the window) are

• "I am just saying...."
• "I don't see color...."
• "All lives matter..."
• "I am going to say what everyone else is thinking..."
• "Fuck!"

Actually, the last can be good "Fuck! Guys, I did not think you would remember my birthday! I don't want to take too much time from AJ's presentation, but thanks everyone!"

But, I do not have the personality to thrive in these meetings. I'm just quiet trying to get to the end of the meeting so that I can go home.