Roaming Reporter (RR): "Well Bill, We just saw someone with long, blond hair leave Tiger's house."
Studio: "Ah, so we can assume it was a woman."
RR: "Yes, that would be safe to say."
Studio: "And that means this person would have two X chromosomes."
RR: "Yes, correct. Because they may be a woman."
Studio: "A woman just left Tiger's house."
RR: "We can confirm that a possible woman with blond hair left the house."
It also helps that I don't care very much. I like lots of people on TV and in movies, but, unless Joel McHale actually came to my house and slept with my wife, then I care very little who he sleeps with. I hope he sticks with his wife, but if he meets some other women then too bad, but I hope the keep making The Soup.
Even with all this said, I must admit that I am pretty upset about the recent developments in late night network television.
It appears that Conan got the ultimate shaft and that Leno will return to the 11:30 pm timeslot currently held by The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. We may still see Conan on NBC, but he will be pushed back to midnight. I have no idea what will happen to Jimmy Fallon or Carson Daly. I think the TV stops working at a certain part of the early AM.
I really hope Conan leaves NBC and take it to them on another network. He uprooted his whole life to move to L.A. and host the Tonight Show, something promised to him several years earlier, when we all thought Leno would bow out gracefully to go fiddle around with his cars. He is paying for the NBC's executives mistakes and Leno's stubbornness to leave the limelight. No one expected The Jay Leno Show to work, except for the folks at NBC who hailed it as an upcoming revolution in television. It is refreshing for them to be so upfront with their mistake, but Conan appears to be heading for a up close meeting with the underside of a bus.
I can't believe I just typed this, but, TMZ reports that Conan is "pissed." I tend to trust TMZ as much as a certain little boy that cried wolf, but they do their job well, and that job is to dig up dirt. I hope Conan is pissed and that the NBC execs now fear seeing a blazing red pompadour coming at them from across the hedges. La Bamba could play a trombone solo to prelude to the attack, much like the strings in Jaws.
Remember that Conan was already hamstrung by the fact that Leno would still lead into him. While Conan took over the mantle of The Tonight Show, Leno was never off the air, making the whole switch over seem fake. Except for Conan, who had to move cross country and face off against another veteran TV host, David Letterman. Everything was very real for him and now he is paying for the reality that....
1) Viewers do actually enjoy some drama at 10pm. I agree that there is enough CSI clones out there to solve the Zodiac killings, but their popularity says something. People watch them
And,
2) Jay Leno is not funny. I still believe he is a nice guy, even though his boorish behavior before and after the switchover stands testament against this, but not funny.
I know he has his fans and that he reels in the older Johnny Carson viewers still wondering who the hell this red haired guy is, but Leno has not made me laugh since I was 13. Supporters often point out how hilarious the Jaywalking and Headlines segments are. Indeed, they are funny, but Leno doesn't produce a single one of them. We laugh because he is telling us this is chuckle worthy, but he has no hand in making he funny. Just showing it. You don't give the MC the Lifetime Achievement award or the guy who throws out the first pitch a World Series ring. Hell, people send in the Headlines bits to him!
The original jokes are telegraphed from three junctions away with punchlines out of those "101 Knock Knock Joke" type books you see in the children's section of the library. His humor always felt very safe with a focus on reaffirming punchlines and images we expect.
If the joke mentions an intern, then Leno is going to wrap up with a Lewinsky reference. Yes, still. If the joke mentions a husband and wife then the man will be a dude's dude and the wife a hen pecking shrew. It it like the Far Side comic, where every image was a repeating trope, except Larson used it to create a world one panel at a time. Leno phones it in every night. Finally, the joke never seems to be on him. Maybe it says something about the comedies I watched growing up, but I want my comedian to be a bit self deprecating. Conan was my man when it came to this, especially since he recently referred to his abs as "The half empty laundry bag."
Conan's humor feels much more brainy and involved. His skits often created their own logic that they must adhere to. Of course, Conan had to retire the Masturbating Bear when he left for L.A. It made sense in New York at 12:30AM, but The Tonight Show was for all America and the Bear's reason for being was that he was an obtuse and hilarious nonsequitor. The running Triumph bits and the photo slide montages, my favorite from the Late Night era, where they all ended up dead, required an investment.
You watch Conan. You see Leno.
In the ensuing fallout of the shuffle, I have read Internet comments against Conan and in support of Jay. It must be a generational thing, because I have never meet anyone that dislikes Conan, but I can understand the critiques that he can ham it up in front of the camera and often switch into asides and inside jokes. When I like a show then I try to do everything I can to love it and shows with inside jokes and a running streak of healthy self deprecation are key. This is why I loved Arrested Development and it got shafted by Fox. And when is the third season of Flight of the Conchords coming? I notice a pattern...
Good luck, Conan! Please leave NBC. Now that Southland has gone to TNT then I only watch it for the Thursday night comedies, which the execs might replace with even more Leno. He is cheap to produce and it seems like most of American likes him. Just like high fructose corn syrup.
Peace!
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