Read The Staff Handbook

After paying $300 something dollars to my orthodontist to have them check what was wrong with my teeth (To put a better technical definition on "jacked to shit") the friendly receptionist told me that "At some point the week of March 2nd someone will call you with the analysis and treatment recommendations. Is it OK with we leave a voicemail?"

That phrase was both refreshing and ominous. They could go for the standard, the easy lay up of "We will get back to you in 2 weeks." But instead they went for a novel attempt. Some sort of circus shot hook from the 3 point line "At some point the week of March 2nd someone will call you."

This has Ringu/The Ring energy to it.
Seven days.
At some point the week of March 2nd someone will call you.
Same difference
In either case my face will be ripped apart.

Inspired by this I am trying to use some punch in my day to day. So "Check the staff handbook," which is A) Boring B) Doesn't inspire and C) Yeah no one checks it anyway, can become...

"Consult the good nook"

Which is A) Different B)Preachy? C)You know some people do need the Lord anyway so maybe this will help?

Or we can go with "Read the Tome of Employment"

Which is A) Mysterious B) On brand for my D&D RPG nonsense and C) Makes a cool image. All leather bound with brass bindings and a ribbon in the spine to mark one's place.

Or we can go with "The assigned reading is Labor Song of Work Days: Canto 10 PTO Days"

Which is A) Erudite B)Mysterious and C) People still wont' read it.

Source: Pexels, Pixabay