My job is one of those mile wide inch deep type things. I juggle disparate responsibilities usually only reserved for start up businesses or some wacky sitcoms where somone is trying to do two jobs at once to save money for a sweet first car.
"Hey, I clean the toilets and balance the books! I can have it all!"
One responsibilities is writing many things to be ignored.
Email on how to submit your time off requests? Oh yeah that will get deleted.
A little quick card to keep on your desk with rhe number to the tech line? Yeah, that will become a coaster.
Explaining how to handle the visit from the landlord or that by end of the year I'm moving the copier to the third floor? Yeah, I'm going to get a "no one told us."
But I've realized that my voice had a certain fondness for words. Almost like verbal tics (the "ummms" and "likes") save its key words that others then slip into communication back. Or even, in a true win, their own language.
For example, wonky.
Which is use to succinctly express that something is fucked up.
Another is zaniness. Which I use to denote just general inefficiency and levels of eye rolling pain. "Oh, I'm here on anti zaniness duty" meaning I'm here to be the adult.
Another is yoink. To denote stealing something. I know somone is stealing disinfectant wipes from the supply room but yoink sounds so whimsical. Its me turning the Patagonian Toothfish onto Chilean Sea Bass. Except with office petty theft. Note that if you say "yoink" while yoinking something then it is OK! But somone has to hear you (hence affirming you are ok with stealing so maybe don't do it, ok).
One I am trying to do is ZOMG. Which one pronounces zohmygod with a strong listing style z.
ZOMG there is cake in the break room!
Things like that.
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