Validation

 At some point my main motivation for the day to day became a pointed and petty need to be validated. This has to be the start of some mid life crisis. The time where I start writing blog posts about how the pretty young new hire wants to date me, the overweight pushing 40 guy with anxiety and a high blood sugar level. I mean, why wouldn't she, amiright. Or my hobbies become obnoxious, supported by an ability to know spend disposable income on the periphery of them. 

I once worked with someone, we will call him Steve, that, at this age, got really into dieting and working out. But not for muscle mass or tone. Just slimness. I could pick up Steve. A pair of 5th grade girls could pick up Steve. So, Steve, looked like a solitary carnation tossed into a novelty coffee cup. Just tall and skinny and there. But, Steve, he never shut up about his diet. "I lost 20 lbs this summer. I don't know if you noticed. Just by cutting out sweets and breads. Lots of veggies and fiber."

"Hey, did I show you my fitness tracker app on my phone. I just use it for calorie counting"

I once was asking Steve about some receipt he missed and he was stretching on the floor the whole time. "Yeah I will get that to you," while he comes up from a cobra pose.

That is how that manifested for Steve. For me, its the little like or heart emojis in the work chat Slack. "You are always saving me," said someone in a Zoom chat and I just about melted.

Professionally, I don't need the "attaboy"s. But personally, oh yeah, please because if not then I know y'all hate me and we will for sure have to fight.