Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Middle Management Memo

Hello Friends!

Short Version: Please answer the check questions honestly and we can all just get on with our days. This will be over soon.

Long Version: Someone left ChatGPT running for too long and now Catty Gupridner Thane shows up in both Slack and Teams and Discord.* And, no, it is not real but just real enough to merit the following protocols to make sure you are chatting with a real live co worker and not a pile of 1s and 0s on a Chechen server farm.

At random points of the day, when chatting in any of our varied communications methods you may get prompted to answer one of these:

1) Meme check! Share your most recent meme on your phone. No cheating!
2) What color is your underwear?
3) What is the word of the day? It will be written by Alexis in the lounge every morning. And if Alexis is out then Sam will. If both are out then pray you don't get this question!
4) Is a hot dog a sandwich?
5) Describe a city bus, please
6) Look out the window in room 307 and tell me what you see**
7) Are there any secrets this year?
8) Sing a song in the public domain
9) Name the best struggle food/meal
10) Type a backwards e

Knock one of those out and you can get working! Fail and you will either have to go open a ticket with helpdesk or wait 10 minutes for it to reset and try again. These will fool Catty beacuse, as a proto AI,*** it has no legs to walk, speakers to sing or eyes to see with then we will be golden.

The underwear question has been cleared with HR. It is being asked professionally so all good. 

The engineers are hard at work right now making sure we block out Catty who really can't hurt you but can send you meeting invites to clog up your schedule and send emails saying "per my last email" when the last one said the same thing.

That's it! 

-Middle Management


*Why the company allows for all three of these, I am not sure, but the free trials of one of then will end soon. Which one? Well you will have to guess! 
**If not close to 307 then get up and move to it. Failure to do so will cause your machine to explode!
***If something graduate students out of Adderall use when writing papers could be called an AI

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