Monday, May 15, 2023

Creeping Dread

We have no lack for tips to live longer. Get eight hours of sleep. Drink more water. Take the walk break from your desk. Less carbs, more fiber. Make boundaries. Say yes to no. Etc, etc, etc. 
Then there are those for our immediate safety. Avoid dark alleys and always lock your doors, especially the sliding glass window/doors on the ground floor.
Then the apocryphal. My mother always said to pour the rice into the boiling pot in the shape of a cross. In the name of the father, son, and the holy ghost. Dinner will be ready in 45 minutes. 
I always check the liminal spaces in my home. If I go to the restroom and that shower curtain is drawn, I will peak behind. Doesn't matter if its a desperate need to go so bad that a kidney stone is already biting back. Or, if I am visiting a home and it is an elaborate frou frou setup with cloth wallpaper print actual curtains over vinyl sheets. These are the shower curtains that also have that sash that hooks against the wall to tie back the curtains. Like in a living room.  Those will be popped to the side to make sure no one is there. 
Ill worry about women in walls. This is a deeply irrational paranoia and feels very foreign. Something like "The woman who lives in the cupboard? Yes, that is akin to the Japanese spirit the knocks whenever kids don't finish their milk." Its not based on anything in my past or present, save from any hole can come a spindly drowned cat looking woman that drips from drop ceiling panels. Or from the space behind the tub where the laundry chute ends up. I always check these spaces flipping on lights and flailing arms into them to shake out the double elbowed phantom from its hiding space. 
Note these monsters don't live in enclosed spaces (like under the floor boards or the room Harry Potter lived in at his aunt and uncle's) but in the open. The Ikea Kallax shelf with the fabric cubbies that slide in and out is a favorite. She will curl her fingers through and over the handhold and then push against the lip of the shelf to then wriggle out like a shadow coming into its final draft. 

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