Around the summer of 2008 and into the first half of 2009 I seriously looked into joining the armed forces. Like a lot people at that time, I was unemployed so I can't say it was 100% stars and bars but I have maybe only 3 major regrets in life and not serving my country (In some capacity. Maybe Foreign Service?) is one of them. The fact I got to muddle all this while hanging out and playing emulated ROMs of Pokemon is testament to all those who have served.
I had narrowed it down to either Army or the Coast Guard. I thought that because I had a college degree that maybe I could go down more of an officer path but that is based on pretty much nothing but guessing.
None of this came to bear fruit but I remember on the Coast Guard recruiting page in the FAQ that there was a legit question (A frequently asked one!) that was "Do I have to know how to swim?"
I can imagine all the variables. Did this person not read the sign? Was the boat on the web page or recruiting center something so foreign, so alien, like Spanish ships breaking the horizon of Hispañola in 1492, that they could not fathom it? Or did they have huge stones. Like, "Whats the big deal if I don't know how to swim. I will out hustle all of y'all." Is it a prank that happened so much that someone had to begrudgingly put it up there on the website? Does the Coast Guard want people that ask that? Can someone say "Eh, a little"
Recruiter: Son you know how to swim, yes?
Guy: Eh...a little.
Recruiter: A little?
Guy: Yeah, like it depends. Play it by ear.
Or is it like the "Contents may be hot" warning
Trainer: Ok, everyone lets get in the pool to test our survival skills
Guy: Woah, woah. No one said anything about swimming.
Trainer: ...I think it is obvious in the name
Guy: That could mean a lot of things. How am I supposed to know.
Trainer: Ok, then you are fired
Guy: No, you will be hearing from my attorney.
In writing this blog I had to look and it is still there!
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