Ay Mami

My mother has only ever made two legitimately sincere comments. As opposed to me where I drivel on in this blog. I show a lot of emotion on my face and cannot make small talk to save a life. And I distinguish sincerity as something inherently true and meaningful. Have I feigned interest? Sure but that is to people I come across on the street or at a conference. "Uh huh? Oh yeah!" But if I know you then I am sincere. Probably stupidly sincere. But this isn't about me its about my mom.

My mom has made two sincere comments in her whole life

"You should panic when I panic"

and

"Wow, that lady has a nice ass!"

I keep the first one as a professional mantra. "Don't worry co-workers, we got this. Its not over until its over." Personally, it ebbs and flows depending on what it is. Finance...yeah lets panic. We get some official sounding letter (not about finances)...no big deal. My mother is a fatalist so while everything will go to shit, don't panic, because its resolvable. "Everything in life has a solution except death," my mother would say. It sounds better in Spanish.

The physical comment was about a co-worker. Yes, this co-worker is good looking. Yes, it made me feel a torrent of awkward and awful.  My mom has never been to any job I've ever had and per chance here she is at a company gathering. And she makes nice in her pidgin English and the first thing she blurts back in the car "Wow, that lady has a nice ass!"

"Christ, mami. What the fuck?!"
"What? She isn't here.
"My wife is in the car with us!"
My wife: "What is your mom saying about someone's butt?"
My mother: Cackles

Maybe it was all a joke but whether intentional or not it felt very real and refreshing. Counter to a lifetime of backhanded compliments and addendum. "This would be good if only...." or "Oh yeah, your father took me Y before you were born"

Oh, mami.