Toddlers in children's literature and shows are such serene creatures. Inherently full of wonder and sincerity. And, indeed, this can be true like the time my daughter encourages her mercurial older brother when he doesn't want to climb the monkey bars. They all say very true and swee things emblematic of being embossed between pages of hardcover stock.
But where is the sheer uncut bananas ridiculous stuff. The blows over a pretend balloon.
"Hey, give me that. What do you have in your hand...wtf....there is nothing here?!"
Daughter: "He wants to take it from me!"
"But there is nothing?!"
The anger at looking out each others windows in the car. "Stop looking out my window! stop it!"
The drill down and plant feet into the ground meltdown.
"What did you say?! Where did you learn to say "suck it!"
Son: NOTHING! WHO CARES?!
Me: Tell me where. No videos. No toys. No nothing until you tell me
Son: 1.5 hours of screaming and crying and "I hate daddy. Mommy is stupid"
Me: OK, where.
Son: pinky malinky!
Me: WTF. The hot dog show on Netflix. Was not my first guess.
Where is the awkward. "Well if you are Christians you can come to my bible study this summer" some random 8 year old in leopard pants and a pink Alaska hate tells us. WTF. You just met 10 minites ago.
Daddy?! Do you know this song "Num num num num num num num num num num num num num!"
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