A Play

My internal monologue is a combination of anxious, brave, bold, and circuitous. I think this would be funny in a Tweet but then it's too long. Or as a standup bit. But it's not funny. Cringe inducing perhaps. Note at my job I have a daily bit where I direct traffic. Long story. But when I have to leave early people sub. 

Me, pulling out with my car, yelling at my son: "We gotta go! Let's go!"

Sub coworker waving at us and smiling: "Bye! Have a good one!"

Me: "You look great doing that! Thanks!"

Also me, internally: "Fuck, she is going to think you are hitting on her!"

Also also me, internally: "No you are just being nice. It's cool. Maybe if you were less anxious and weird you wouldn't think people assume that"

Also also also me, internally: "Nope. You are now going to be that sketchy pariah!"

Also also also also me, internally: "I'm going to get fired"

My son: I thought we were in a rush?