Well, we just updated to a 24 inch screen four months ago after deciding that the 13 inch TV I had in college wasn't doing it anymore. And we have exactly 13 channels because we have very, very basic cable. We essentially just get the broadcast networks with some Univision, TCT, and two PBS stations.
Because of this, Amanda and I are pretty much limited to what network prime time has to offer. We have become big Dancing With The Stars fans because of this. And the latest season just ended with a win for Donny Osmond. Congrats Donny and take it Marie!
Our new fandom made me think of a dream dancing line up for future seasons. And, of course, I would blog about it! Today and tomorrow you will see my fantasy lineup. Lets start with the ladies!
Format & Rules
We will begin with the contestant's name then follow with their claim to fame and end with a brief explanation and sample of what outlandish judge Bruno Tonioli would say.
Ladies
Contestant #1
Name: Serena Williams
Claim to Fame: Tennis great. Won 35 titles. Made over $28 million in prize money over her career.
Why?: Every season needs some star athletes and why not pick the currently ranked # 1 female tennis player? Besides, America would love to give her a chance to explain her outburst to that line judge with a nice paso doble.
Bruno: "Serena...I hope the only thing you threaten to stuff down my throat is some dance ATTACK!"
Contestant #2
Name: Lauren Graham
Claim to Fame: She was Lorelai on Gilmore Girls. Also in Evan Almighty and Bad Santa
Why?: She is America's favorite fast talking, power eating, quirky single mom. She can drop a Flashdance reference while recreating every scene from it. Hopefully, she will move so fast that they will need one those "Gilmorism" guides from the DVDs to keep up.
Bruno: "Sexy sexy sexy Lauren. Let me tell you that Bad Santa was very helpful.
Contestant #3
Name: Barbara Walters
Claim to Fame: Famed TV interviewer. Former host of 20/20 and current host of The View.
Why?: Because she is Barbara Walters. That's why. Beside she is an easy get since ABC owns the rights to her other show.
Bruno: "I knew you would make me cry, but who knew it would be for the beauty of the dancing!"
Contestant #4
Name: Rachel Ray
Claim to Fame: Breakout Food Network star.
Why?: People either love her or love to hate her. Perfect for a reality show!
Bruno: "Rachel, you add O to end of everything. EVOO! Yum-O! Well, here comes my judge O face! OH!"
Contestant #5
Name: Stephanie Courtney
Claim to Fame: Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials
Why?: She gave those cavemen and the gecko a run for their money. People have proposed to her. She does have a nice job selling insurance.
Bruno: "You can check me out anytime, Stephanie. This is wonderful insurance for the finals!"
Contestant #6
Name: Jamie Lynn Spears
Claim to Fame: Britney Spears' sister. Actress on All That and Zoey 101. Famous for getting pregnant
Why?: Because we couldn't get Britney Spears. So we went for the lighter shade of crazy.
Bruno: "Forget your sister! Oops, you did it again with a 10!"
Contestant #7
Name: Rosie O'Donnell
Claim to Fame: Stand up comedienne. Actress and TV host.
Why?: She'll draw the cynics jokes and then sneak in through the second or third elimination. Every season needs someone whose very name is a punch line. Of course, Donny Osmond won this year.
Bruno: "This dancing is in a League of Its Own, Rosie!"
Contestant #8
Name: Jenny McCarthy
Claim to Fame: Former Playboy centerfold and Single Out co-host. Used to pay the bills with far jokes and now pays them by saying juice cures autism. The American Dream manifested in a person. Her appearance would also strike a victory for media fairness by giving scientifically unsound theories equal exposures as, you know, facts.
Bruno: "Chelate these 10s out of me, Jenny! More juice! More ATTACK!"
There you go, folks.
Tomorrow we will present the gentlemen.
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