Relax

I am incapable of relaxing.

"You are going to die at 30," my mother would say to me as a teenager. And while I chalk it up to her fatalism I also can't relax and while she was crazy my mom was not dumb.

Others relax by going to the gym. They sip coffee and read a book. They meditate. I take the edge off by making lists and checking them off. My life is post it notes (whether mental or physical or digital) stacked on each other.

And cross the marks off feels great!
30 minutes of firing off work emails or moving numbers around on a spresdsheet. There are days where that feels better than simpler vices like drinking or masturbating. Smoking too. Which I never done but somone once told me "Is the best thing in the world" and I like to think knocking those out feels equally as satisfying.

Extra points for doing this on the go. On my phone or in 10 minute intervals while kids are calm.

Each little bit takes the edge off.