The Villains!

The latest news is that over 28 ner-do well drug thugs have been arrested in Tompkins County! While the New York State Police are quick to take the credit, they know that deep from within that fire station in Cayuga Heights, the CO-OP OF JUSTICE was the real hero today! The public can only think of them as brief images and glimpses in the night. They cannot go public...yet. However, other villains have and now challenge Tompkins County with super crime! WHO ARE THEY!?

Local Color
Real Name: James Frankterw
Age: 53
Occupation: Incredibly frequent poster on the Ithaca Journal's message boards. Fry cook at Mano's. Greeter at Ithaca Wal-Mart, but only on Saturday's!
Powers: The uncanny ability to judge anyone who has "only" lived here twenty years. The ability to stay in the same county for decades on end. "Always" right. Massive personal arsenal of guns and memories of the good days before they let college student into town.
Story: While older than most super villains, Local Color has the power to end any argument by just blasting the opponent with his "Youratransplant" tactic. That or his incredible collection of guns, which are , of course, for personal protection only and his right as an American, damn it! Loves Tompkins County enough to want to build a wall around and keep all the transplants enough, but not enough to pay his taxes. His power is infinite and so is his general befuddlement factor.

Sk8PnkPeeps
Real Name: Various, lead by 26-year-old male named Thrash Rogan (pictured)
Age: Ranging from 18-30
Occupation: N/A, unemployed
Powers: Always surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smokee and body odor. Play a mean game of hackey-sack. Armed with large assortment of chains, paper clips, safety pins, and studded belts. Story: Already having taken over the Center Pavilion of the Ithaca Commons, Thrash Rogan leads his gang of petty thugs in an attempt to take over all the Commons so they can put their cigarette butts wherever they well please! When not trying to bum menthol Newports off each other, the Sk8PnkPeeps try to make up for the lack of racial diversity in Ithaca by trying really hard to be black. However, they fail at that, but not at being criminals that scowl at passerbys!

Frat Man
Real Name: Trevor Steaky
Occupation: Student at Cornell University, Kappa Sigma Thetha president.
Age: 21
Powers: Immune to alcohol poisoning. Can detect and identify any alcoholic substance as long as he taste 50 milligrams of it. Master of drunken boxing martial arts. Anything alcohol related he holds becomes charged with energy. Backed by his dad's trust fund.
Story: Trevor doesn't even know where he is half the time, but as long as dad's keep sending the money and those nerds over in Risley keep writing his papers for him, it's all a big party here in Ithaca! He can will his fraternal power into anything alcohol related object he touches, turning Beast beer cans into literal bombs! Anything he can't get out of is fixed by dad's hedge fund, but is it enough to stop the Co-Op!?

The Abby
Real Name: Amy Ashley Amy
Occupation: Student at Ithaca College, Herald of BIG BOX!
Age: 19
Powers: Flight. Super strength. Limited invulnerability. Energy beam projection. Astral projection.
Story: Imbued with the power BIG BOX, Amy Ashley Amy searches for new local business districts to quench her master's hunger. By day she knows nothing of her exploits and goes around IC wearing her North Face jacket, sweat pants, UGG boots, and aviator sunglasses with pride. But at night she has helped destroy such towns as Brockway, Ogdenville and Northhaverbrook! Is Ithaca next?!



BIG BOX!
Real Name: N/A
Occupation: Eater of local business, destroyer of trade unions, home of bargain deals!
Age: As old as greed itself.
Powers: Always overstocks and undersells! Immunity to psychic control! Price matching welcomed! Flight! Plenty of ample parking! Super strength! LOW PRICES! Invulnerability! A commitment to your community! Energy beam projection! Can insert exclamation points anywhere!
Story: Spawned in post WW2 America, Big Box is always hungry for more growth and more small businesses. Any business will do, but family owned ones spanning three generations do taste the best. His power is near infinite, feed by his enormous profits from his lesser hell-spawn forms. Only his heralds can look at him head-on as they contain a brief portion of his power. He overpowers entire municipalities and now he is looking at Tompkins County!


There you go, loyal fans! Those are the threats, but you have your heroes! PEACE!


Once again, this is all in pure fun. Any resemblances to Silver Surfer, Galactus, Bullseye, and/or Daredevil is celebratory. Also thanks to USA Today, Kate Winslet, and the Vermont Natural Resources Council for not suing. Particular thanks to the JTF for not suing as the look rather..."intense" and probably know Krav Maga. Damn it. Please don't sue! PEACE!