Amanda and I saw Sherlock Holmes over the weekend and I must admit to liking it and not understanding the overall lukewarm reaction to it. Of course, if you have followed this blog over the past few weeks, then you must have noticed that I have lukewarm reactions to movies people absolutely love.
Maybe people expected too much from this movie and the crowd pleasing Robert Downey, Jr. Iron Man and Tropic Thunder were awesome and gained both commercial and critical praise. Of course he would do it with this one as well! It could also be that the film ends with pretty much a huge "To Be Continued." They don't put those cringe inducing words on screen, but the entire vehicle was just a setup for more movies. Look, I know Hollywood will turn everything into a trilogy. Want to start taking bets on what the third Alvin and The Chipmunks movie will be called? The Tweelogy? But, be a bit coy about it with fleeting celebrity interviews and a leaked early script draft leaked online.
I appreciated the movie's buddy cop theme and there was a nice chemistry between Downey's Sherlock and Jude Law's Watson. Sherlock had a tough time elucidating his apprehensions of Watson marrying and leaving the sleuthing business. For such a rational man capable of cracking cases by just reading the initial police report, this was a nice touch of humanity. I also appreciated that we got that fragility without some heavy handed pathos building scene where we flash back to Sherlock's parents being killed by a mugger outside the opera or dying in a climbing accident.
Don't know if this is very true to the actual relationship in the books. The older interpretations do make it seem like Watson is Sherlock's go-fer. I remember reading some of the Sherlock Holmes books when I was younger, but that is about it. I am not sure what purists feel about the movie, but, if it is like any other movie based on a cherished serial story, then I am going to say they are mad. The movie is very physical, with slow mo fight scenes that made one Internet commentator say it is Fight Club meets Victorian England. I don't mind a bit of action thrown in to spice up the gumshoeing, but they do sometimes feel inserted for the hell of it. Best example is an early battle where Watson and Holmes dispatch a band of brigands tasked with burning the evidence. You can almost hear the characters resist saying "Oh, here we go again" when the guys show up. The fight then continues for a few minutes, extending into a scene defined by the almost there feel of a Family Guy gag.
Speaking of inserting elements for the hell of it...why was Rachel McAdams in the movie? Not necessarily her (Got nothing against her), but her character seemed pointless. Not to give away any story elements, but her quasi romantic foil is meant to keep Holmes, whether via sincerity or deception, on the case. This would make sense in any other movie that wasn't about Sherlock Holmes.
The world's greatest detective needs someone to motivate him to stay on the case? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, maybe? This also feels hollow because an early conversation reveals how Holmes is frustrated that there are no more intriguing cases.
All of this relegates McAdams to a very pretty face and an American connection to an otherwise very European story. Remember the Tom Sawyer character from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
I liked the explanation at the end where Holmes elucidates on how the villain was able to do all his nefarious deeds. It's neat, albeit a bit muddled by the fact that no one could figure it out because all the clues are haphazardly placed. One scene fleetingly shows Holmes licking a rock, which features prominently in the villain's escape. Good luck trying to figure out what are clues and what are the quirky characteristic Downey puts into the Holmes persona. I thought he just licked rocks cause that was weird and we wanted weird.
Peace!
Showing posts with label Cinema. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cinema. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Boo!
Boy, am I happy that I did not believe the hype and waited to see Paranormal Activity on DVD.
I remember the lesson of The Blair Witch Project well and refused to be reeled in by a clever advertising campaign and plenty of word of mouth. Tween-age Garik was very excited to watch that film and could not wait to see what many described as an true story filled with terror. A friend claimed that he had already seen the movie on a bootleg copy. Since this was 1999, it meant that the guy had to have a 64KB modem (LUCKY!) or associate with some shady characters. In any case, he was bad ass and told me the movie "just killed you with suspense."
Of course, Blair Witch was horrible and I was surprised to meet people in college legitimately scared by it. It is now close to eleven years past the movie, but it is the rare movie that is both lame and a pain to watch. Nothing happens and we have to see these doldrums through the same lens as the security camera at the first National Bank of San Andreas Fault.
I still give Blair Witch a well deserved nod for its slick advertising campaign, which spun the myth that this was all true via Time magazine cover stories, Sci-Fi network prime time specials, and false listings on IMDB, which reported all three actors were deceased. It wasn't the first to do so,* but it did it the best and the people who came up with it do deserve every bit of credit. You can draw a direct line from Blair Witch to Paranormal Activity, which Amanda and I rented on DVD this past weekend...
If you were one of the three people that did not hear about Paranormal Activity (PA) then...what was your secret? Did you have a very big rock? Or on an island? Our local ABC affiliate actually sent a reporter to watch it and later report on how scary it was. Indeed, News Net 5 is on our side. The hype was phenomenal and increased by the fact that PA got a limited release and fans had to demand that big movie chains carry it. In Cleveland, it was only available in one theater out in the eastern suburbs until about mid October. I was working at a Halloween store at the time (Yes, I am that cool) and this seemed to act as a crucible for the hype...
"These headless lawn stakes are nice. But you know what was scary. Paranormal Activity!"
One co-worker swore that it was a true story and was undaunted by the fact that it wasn't and all the actors were very much alive.
The plot? A young couple, Katie and Micah, are living together in a home that is haunted by something. Micah buys a state of the art camera to document whatever is happening and explain to the jittery Katie that everything is in her head. Or it is the damn neighbor kids. As the film continues we learn that it is not the neighbor kids and Katie herself if pursued by an evil force dedicated to its malevolent mission. Hilarity does not ensues, unless your sense of humor is kind of demonic. If so, then the movie is hilarious.
The movie is wonderfully made especially if the claims that it was made for just $10,000 in a frenzied seven day shoot are indeed true. Even if these were fudged for dramatic effect, you can tell that this did not have any major studio or a Michael Bay sized budget. It isn't because of poor quality, but because of honesty and clever effects. It says a lot when movie goes are terrified and moved by this sleeper film and universally pan digitally enhanced gore fests. If you hate that there will by 50 Saw films then you can take comfort that people can still be scared and impressed by movies like PA.
I appreciate the movie making, but the actual movie felt a bit boring with well executed but very much telegraphed scares. The movie keeps up the tension, but never acts on this except in the scenes it tells you are going to be scary. Remember the scene in Signs where you first see the alien? Well. here it is below...
That was an excellent scary scene that would have been put to good use in P.A. Instead of hearing the demon come running up the stairs and then be hit by the scare, imagine seeing a shadow loom over Katie and Micah as they fret over the lack of sleep in the kitchen.
The demon effects are done with a subtle, yet effective attention to detail that keeps us scared without every really showing the monster. The whole concept of having something invade you while you are in bed is what got to most people and I did appreciate the scene where it gets it bed with them and you can see the outline against the sheets? Imagine a scene where we just see a part of the mattress dip down as if someone is sitting on it. And that just plays out all night. No footsteps. It just shows up. And then it strokes Katie's hair for a creepy, perverted moment. They could do that, but first the demon is going to turn on the hall light (Really? Satan is afraid of the dark) so we know it is coming.
The movie is a victim of its own hype and further crippled by the fact that the trailer shows you the big scare. Very little actually happens in the freak out department and most of that comes at the very end. The end scenes provide the most trailer material which speaks to the fact that, indeed, not much happens. A movie that gives you a nice five second warning before each scare and already showed you the money has a hard time keeping you scared. Especially after all the hype. I imagine that if you saw this back in 2007 on the independent film circuit then the scares would have been heightened. Some European reviewers online have commented how their barrier from some of the hype helped intensify the scares. So, I guess the hype won even though I opened by saying I dodged it.
I did like the relationship between Katie and Micah. It felt honest and sincere, especially in the happy moments at the start and the terror at the end. I felt more pangs as they argued about what to do and in the moments where each was terrified for the other. Micah gives it his all as plays literal tug of war with the monster with Katie as the rope. There is also a scene where Katie has clutched a cross so tightly that it cuts into her hand and Micah has to left the near catatonic Katie to help. She also struggles to keep it all together as she can't explain why this being is attached to her and why it feels so threatened by Micah.
There are several scenes where they cry about having little sleep and how this is starting to effect their lives beyond the home. In the end, we learn that the monster has full control of Katie and uses her body to betray Micah and the relationship. These moments are also moving as Katie alternates between the brink of madness and eerie smiles.
There are several endings to PA and the relationship angle plays better into the alternate one offered in the U.S. DVD release. As a relationship movie, PA defies the hype by offering us a glimpse of what we many do if faced with such a situation. As a horror movie, it seems to stumble by letting you know when it is coming and relying on horror movie tropes we have already seen, albeit not as nicely executed.
Peace!
*No, that honor belongs to a truly awful movie called Cannibal Holocaust. Awful in the fact that is as close to a snuff film as you can get with actual animal slayings that include a turtle quartering and pig shooting. I have seen bits and pieces of online and savvy searchers could find the whole film. Its checkered production and distribution history also includes charges of brutality to the actual human actors and disproved claims of onscreen murder. Some critics have hailed it as revolutionary and brainy, but passing actual killings as entertainment cannot merit a defense even on this blog.
I remember the lesson of The Blair Witch Project well and refused to be reeled in by a clever advertising campaign and plenty of word of mouth. Tween-age Garik was very excited to watch that film and could not wait to see what many described as an true story filled with terror. A friend claimed that he had already seen the movie on a bootleg copy. Since this was 1999, it meant that the guy had to have a 64KB modem (LUCKY!) or associate with some shady characters. In any case, he was bad ass and told me the movie "just killed you with suspense."
Of course, Blair Witch was horrible and I was surprised to meet people in college legitimately scared by it. It is now close to eleven years past the movie, but it is the rare movie that is both lame and a pain to watch. Nothing happens and we have to see these doldrums through the same lens as the security camera at the first National Bank of San Andreas Fault.
***SPOILERS ABOUND BEYOND HERE****
I still give Blair Witch a well deserved nod for its slick advertising campaign, which spun the myth that this was all true via Time magazine cover stories, Sci-Fi network prime time specials, and false listings on IMDB, which reported all three actors were deceased. It wasn't the first to do so,* but it did it the best and the people who came up with it do deserve every bit of credit. You can draw a direct line from Blair Witch to Paranormal Activity, which Amanda and I rented on DVD this past weekend...
If you were one of the three people that did not hear about Paranormal Activity (PA) then...what was your secret? Did you have a very big rock? Or on an island? Our local ABC affiliate actually sent a reporter to watch it and later report on how scary it was. Indeed, News Net 5 is on our side. The hype was phenomenal and increased by the fact that PA got a limited release and fans had to demand that big movie chains carry it. In Cleveland, it was only available in one theater out in the eastern suburbs until about mid October. I was working at a Halloween store at the time (Yes, I am that cool) and this seemed to act as a crucible for the hype...
"These headless lawn stakes are nice. But you know what was scary. Paranormal Activity!"
One co-worker swore that it was a true story and was undaunted by the fact that it wasn't and all the actors were very much alive.
The plot? A young couple, Katie and Micah, are living together in a home that is haunted by something. Micah buys a state of the art camera to document whatever is happening and explain to the jittery Katie that everything is in her head. Or it is the damn neighbor kids. As the film continues we learn that it is not the neighbor kids and Katie herself if pursued by an evil force dedicated to its malevolent mission. Hilarity does not ensues, unless your sense of humor is kind of demonic. If so, then the movie is hilarious.
The movie is wonderfully made especially if the claims that it was made for just $10,000 in a frenzied seven day shoot are indeed true. Even if these were fudged for dramatic effect, you can tell that this did not have any major studio or a Michael Bay sized budget. It isn't because of poor quality, but because of honesty and clever effects. It says a lot when movie goes are terrified and moved by this sleeper film and universally pan digitally enhanced gore fests. If you hate that there will by 50 Saw films then you can take comfort that people can still be scared and impressed by movies like PA.
I appreciate the movie making, but the actual movie felt a bit boring with well executed but very much telegraphed scares. The movie keeps up the tension, but never acts on this except in the scenes it tells you are going to be scary. Remember the scene in Signs where you first see the alien? Well. here it is below...
That was an excellent scary scene that would have been put to good use in P.A. Instead of hearing the demon come running up the stairs and then be hit by the scare, imagine seeing a shadow loom over Katie and Micah as they fret over the lack of sleep in the kitchen.
The demon effects are done with a subtle, yet effective attention to detail that keeps us scared without every really showing the monster. The whole concept of having something invade you while you are in bed is what got to most people and I did appreciate the scene where it gets it bed with them and you can see the outline against the sheets? Imagine a scene where we just see a part of the mattress dip down as if someone is sitting on it. And that just plays out all night. No footsteps. It just shows up. And then it strokes Katie's hair for a creepy, perverted moment. They could do that, but first the demon is going to turn on the hall light (Really? Satan is afraid of the dark) so we know it is coming.
The movie is a victim of its own hype and further crippled by the fact that the trailer shows you the big scare. Very little actually happens in the freak out department and most of that comes at the very end. The end scenes provide the most trailer material which speaks to the fact that, indeed, not much happens. A movie that gives you a nice five second warning before each scare and already showed you the money has a hard time keeping you scared. Especially after all the hype. I imagine that if you saw this back in 2007 on the independent film circuit then the scares would have been heightened. Some European reviewers online have commented how their barrier from some of the hype helped intensify the scares. So, I guess the hype won even though I opened by saying I dodged it.
I did like the relationship between Katie and Micah. It felt honest and sincere, especially in the happy moments at the start and the terror at the end. I felt more pangs as they argued about what to do and in the moments where each was terrified for the other. Micah gives it his all as plays literal tug of war with the monster with Katie as the rope. There is also a scene where Katie has clutched a cross so tightly that it cuts into her hand and Micah has to left the near catatonic Katie to help. She also struggles to keep it all together as she can't explain why this being is attached to her and why it feels so threatened by Micah.
There are several scenes where they cry about having little sleep and how this is starting to effect their lives beyond the home. In the end, we learn that the monster has full control of Katie and uses her body to betray Micah and the relationship. These moments are also moving as Katie alternates between the brink of madness and eerie smiles.
There are several endings to PA and the relationship angle plays better into the alternate one offered in the U.S. DVD release. As a relationship movie, PA defies the hype by offering us a glimpse of what we many do if faced with such a situation. As a horror movie, it seems to stumble by letting you know when it is coming and relying on horror movie tropes we have already seen, albeit not as nicely executed.
Peace!
*No, that honor belongs to a truly awful movie called Cannibal Holocaust. Awful in the fact that is as close to a snuff film as you can get with actual animal slayings that include a turtle quartering and pig shooting. I have seen bits and pieces of online and savvy searchers could find the whole film. Its checkered production and distribution history also includes charges of brutality to the actual human actors and disproved claims of onscreen murder. Some critics have hailed it as revolutionary and brainy, but passing actual killings as entertainment cannot merit a defense even on this blog.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
CGI Overload?
Speaking of Avatar and the clash between amazing visuals and lame storytelling, you should check out this interview between James Cameron and Peter Jackson that was reproduced on Slate. I found one bit from Jackson to be very salient. It summarizes my feelings about Avatar in a succinct format that does not mention Dune, Final Fantasy, or Transformers. I have quoted it below...
"Jackson: There are all great tools that people haven't quite gotten their heads around yet. But one of the things that has happened [is that] people focus on technology. Probably the film industry has been guilty; there's more attention spent on the technical aspects than the story. That's led to a self-fulfilling prophecy. People regard CGI as a gimmick, they almost blame CGI for a bad story or a bad script. They talk about CGI as if it's responsible for a drop in standards. We've gotten to a point now where there isn't nothing else we haven't seen. We've seen dinosaurs, we've seen aliens; with Avatar we've seen realistic creatures. I think we're going to enter a phase where there's less interest in the CGI and there's a demand for story again. I think we've dropped the ball a little bit on stories for the sake of the amazing toys that we've played with."
Peace!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Blue Movies
This may come as a shock to you loyal readers, but, I did not really dig James Cameron's new movie Avatar. This does not mean that I hated it. It left me feeling pretty "meh," which is how most big, loud summer blockbusters leave me feeling. And this wasn't supposed to be a big, loud summer blockbuster.
If you haven't heard of Avatar then you must be either 1) A member of the Taliban or B) Living in Ithaca, NY. It is Cameron's first return to film making in over a decade and has been much ballyhooed as the next step in movies. Like George Lucas, Cameron claims to have been sitting on this for years and waiting for special effects technology to catch up to his original vision. The thing cost $237 million dollars to make and has already netted $232 million in worldwide sales in just one weekend. If it hadn't been for all the snow on the East Coast this past weekend, then it could have made A LOT more money, but it will soon recoup that.
Avatar follows Jake Sully, a wheelchair bound U.S. Marine vet that must replace his twin brother on a scientific mission to the new world of Pandora. Pandora holds a rare mineral that an evil corporation wants because it sells for "$20 million a kilo." Going to need a really big Invisible Hand to move that stuff. The planet is also home to an indigenous race of 10 foot tall, blue, quasi-cat aliens called the Na'vi. Human researchers have been able to create biological robots of the Na'vi that humans can pilot with their brains. The science team on Na'vi, lead by the always wonderful to see Sigourney Weaver, uses these creations, called avatars, to communicated with the natives and better learn their culture. The evil corporation, which has an army of mercenaries I dub "Space Black Water," wants to use the avatars to infiltrate the Na'vi, learn their weaknesses and get more of that rock. Sully mans one of these avatars, falls in love with the alien babe and epic battles, training montages, and PG-13 alien sex continue.
A ton of effort went into Avatar. Cameron and his team even created a full, working Na'vi language that you can learn right after you memorize Klingon. To this end, the film is a huge success with visuals that are hyper realistic and engaging. We have scenes that are filled with all non-humans and these feel as solid as any scene with flesh and blood actors. There are moments where the CGI melds into actual stage props. The lush backgrounds of the Pandoran rain forest feel thick and real with the encompassing bird calls and jungle tweets needed to add more gravitas. If you are the kind of person that reads movie reviews before checking them out then, yes, Avatar is a visual wonder with a world that adheres to its own internal and highly detailed logic. Even if that logic is not in and of itself logical.
My problem was that I am getting more and more tired of liking movies because they look cool. I like a damn gun fight, but I really want that to have some substance. And if substance is too much, then I prefer it to be campy and self-aware or fun. When it comes to the actual story, Avatar falls right on its blue face and picks itself up with cliched archetypes. It's Dances With Wolves, The Last Samurai, or Lawrence of Arabia, whichever one you want really, set in space. The final battle reminded me just how dumb indeed it was for the Ewoks to defeat an entire legion of Imperial troops at the end of Return of the Jedi. It made me think of Fern Gully and I don't even remember the plot of that movie except that the rain forest was good and bulldozers were bad.
One reason I did not dig Avatar as much as possible is because I am a nerd. The story reminded me a lot of Dune, which is one of my favorite sci-fi stories of all time. If you haven't read Dune, then please do before you see Avatar because the last thing I want is for people to think Dune is like Avatar! Both stories are a tale about a young man who must go to a hostile, but beautiful, planet that is the only known source of a valuable commodity. The commodity is currently mined by an evil group that must share some of that space with new comers hoping to learn more about the environment they must steward. The boy meets a researcher who has made inroads with the natives who are both stewards of the environment and fierce warriors. After a great betrayal, the boy flees to the wilderness, falls in love with a native woman, learns the native ways and becomes their greatest hero.
There are characters in Avatar that are near clones of people in Dune. Jake Sully is Paul Atreides. The benevolent Navi researcher Grace Augustine is Liet Kynes. Evil general Colonel Miles Quaritch is the Harkonnes except with out the child molestation, which may be a good thing. Neytiri, Jake's Navi love, is Chani and her arranged marriage Tsutey is Stilgar even though Stilgar and Chani don't hook up in the book. All those crazy Pandoran creatures are just trying to be as cool as Shai Hulud, the mighty Sandworm.
Speaking of nerdiness, many of the visuals, particularly the glowing forest reminded me of scenes from the Final Fantasy games and that gets me thinking of bad Final Fantasy fan fiction. And video game cosplayers. And then I imagine someone else thought that and sneered, 'Hey that looks like the forest of the Fayth that Yuna and Tidus have sex in in FFX!" I am bit embarrassed to admit that I thought this as the last thing I want to do is apply plots from video games into my life. Reminds me of the time I tried writing an English paper in the 11th grade based on the flavor text of Magic cards. I was that cool.
Aside from these comparisons, the movie is a pretty standard anti-industrial warning that says it is not nice to mess with Mother Nature. I'm an environmentalist, so I appreciate the idea, but this is also the same idea as Frogs. The end battle is wonderfully rendered digitally, but feels hackneyed and drawn from a hundred much weaker action movies.
Considering all the hype for Avatar, I expected something greater with those great visuals but something to support them with. Lavishing praise on a movie because it looks really great is useful, but makes me feel like we are just watching a video game demo.
Peace!
***Author's note***
I did not see Avatar in 3D, which is akin to watching the Wizard of Oz on a black and white TV. Maybe the 3D does it for most folks.
And yes...I realize that the guy that just wrote this really loved Transformers back in 2007. And Star Wars. One of those was dumb and the other borrowed a lot from classic archetypes of the kinght errant. Both were visually stunning and I will argue both were fun, which I Avatar was not.
If you haven't heard of Avatar then you must be either 1) A member of the Taliban or B) Living in Ithaca, NY. It is Cameron's first return to film making in over a decade and has been much ballyhooed as the next step in movies. Like George Lucas, Cameron claims to have been sitting on this for years and waiting for special effects technology to catch up to his original vision. The thing cost $237 million dollars to make and has already netted $232 million in worldwide sales in just one weekend. If it hadn't been for all the snow on the East Coast this past weekend, then it could have made A LOT more money, but it will soon recoup that.
Avatar follows Jake Sully, a wheelchair bound U.S. Marine vet that must replace his twin brother on a scientific mission to the new world of Pandora. Pandora holds a rare mineral that an evil corporation wants because it sells for "$20 million a kilo." Going to need a really big Invisible Hand to move that stuff. The planet is also home to an indigenous race of 10 foot tall, blue, quasi-cat aliens called the Na'vi. Human researchers have been able to create biological robots of the Na'vi that humans can pilot with their brains. The science team on Na'vi, lead by the always wonderful to see Sigourney Weaver, uses these creations, called avatars, to communicated with the natives and better learn their culture. The evil corporation, which has an army of mercenaries I dub "Space Black Water," wants to use the avatars to infiltrate the Na'vi, learn their weaknesses and get more of that rock. Sully mans one of these avatars, falls in love with the alien babe and epic battles, training montages, and PG-13 alien sex continue.
A ton of effort went into Avatar. Cameron and his team even created a full, working Na'vi language that you can learn right after you memorize Klingon. To this end, the film is a huge success with visuals that are hyper realistic and engaging. We have scenes that are filled with all non-humans and these feel as solid as any scene with flesh and blood actors. There are moments where the CGI melds into actual stage props. The lush backgrounds of the Pandoran rain forest feel thick and real with the encompassing bird calls and jungle tweets needed to add more gravitas. If you are the kind of person that reads movie reviews before checking them out then, yes, Avatar is a visual wonder with a world that adheres to its own internal and highly detailed logic. Even if that logic is not in and of itself logical.
My problem was that I am getting more and more tired of liking movies because they look cool. I like a damn gun fight, but I really want that to have some substance. And if substance is too much, then I prefer it to be campy and self-aware or fun. When it comes to the actual story, Avatar falls right on its blue face and picks itself up with cliched archetypes. It's Dances With Wolves, The Last Samurai, or Lawrence of Arabia, whichever one you want really, set in space. The final battle reminded me just how dumb indeed it was for the Ewoks to defeat an entire legion of Imperial troops at the end of Return of the Jedi. It made me think of Fern Gully and I don't even remember the plot of that movie except that the rain forest was good and bulldozers were bad.
One reason I did not dig Avatar as much as possible is because I am a nerd. The story reminded me a lot of Dune, which is one of my favorite sci-fi stories of all time. If you haven't read Dune, then please do before you see Avatar because the last thing I want is for people to think Dune is like Avatar! Both stories are a tale about a young man who must go to a hostile, but beautiful, planet that is the only known source of a valuable commodity. The commodity is currently mined by an evil group that must share some of that space with new comers hoping to learn more about the environment they must steward. The boy meets a researcher who has made inroads with the natives who are both stewards of the environment and fierce warriors. After a great betrayal, the boy flees to the wilderness, falls in love with a native woman, learns the native ways and becomes their greatest hero.
There are characters in Avatar that are near clones of people in Dune. Jake Sully is Paul Atreides. The benevolent Navi researcher Grace Augustine is Liet Kynes. Evil general Colonel Miles Quaritch is the Harkonnes except with out the child molestation, which may be a good thing. Neytiri, Jake's Navi love, is Chani and her arranged marriage Tsutey is Stilgar even though Stilgar and Chani don't hook up in the book. All those crazy Pandoran creatures are just trying to be as cool as Shai Hulud, the mighty Sandworm.
Speaking of nerdiness, many of the visuals, particularly the glowing forest reminded me of scenes from the Final Fantasy games and that gets me thinking of bad Final Fantasy fan fiction. And video game cosplayers. And then I imagine someone else thought that and sneered, 'Hey that looks like the forest of the Fayth that Yuna and Tidus have sex in in FFX!" I am bit embarrassed to admit that I thought this as the last thing I want to do is apply plots from video games into my life. Reminds me of the time I tried writing an English paper in the 11th grade based on the flavor text of Magic cards. I was that cool.
Aside from these comparisons, the movie is a pretty standard anti-industrial warning that says it is not nice to mess with Mother Nature. I'm an environmentalist, so I appreciate the idea, but this is also the same idea as Frogs. The end battle is wonderfully rendered digitally, but feels hackneyed and drawn from a hundred much weaker action movies.
Considering all the hype for Avatar, I expected something greater with those great visuals but something to support them with. Lavishing praise on a movie because it looks really great is useful, but makes me feel like we are just watching a video game demo.
Peace!
***Author's note***
I did not see Avatar in 3D, which is akin to watching the Wizard of Oz on a black and white TV. Maybe the 3D does it for most folks.
And yes...I realize that the guy that just wrote this really loved Transformers back in 2007. And Star Wars. One of those was dumb and the other borrowed a lot from classic archetypes of the kinght errant. Both were visually stunning and I will argue both were fun, which I Avatar was not.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Michael Bay is laughing at me
Speaking of movies...
I realize this is about five months too late, but the sequel to Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, was God awful. I went to a midnight showing of the thing and left three hours later quite disappointed. And a bit heartbroken as well. I realize how melodramatic that sounds. It is a movie about giant robots that beat the hell out of each other. How much could one really expect? But, returning readers will remember how excited Amanda and I were about the first one.
I can't say much that already has been said about the movie. 19% on Rotten Tomatoes is a serious F. The first one got a 56%, which is a low D. That gets you through to the next school year!
I think that part two was a victim of the first movie's attempts to be taken seriously. They spent a good part of the first hour trying to legitimize giant robots that turn into cars. The focus was always on the fight, but folks gave it a pass for trying. The robots were still here to kick ass, but at least we got a try at why they were here to kick ass. It made the first movie a lot of fun. Stupid fun, but not just plain stupid like the second once. Watching the second one, it seemed like Michael "360 shot" Bay was a bit subdued in the first installment and that the second one was his true canvas on which to demolish freely.
Peace!
I realize this is about five months too late, but the sequel to Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, was God awful. I went to a midnight showing of the thing and left three hours later quite disappointed. And a bit heartbroken as well. I realize how melodramatic that sounds. It is a movie about giant robots that beat the hell out of each other. How much could one really expect? But, returning readers will remember how excited Amanda and I were about the first one.
I can't say much that already has been said about the movie. 19% on Rotten Tomatoes is a serious F. The first one got a 56%, which is a low D. That gets you through to the next school year!
I think that part two was a victim of the first movie's attempts to be taken seriously. They spent a good part of the first hour trying to legitimize giant robots that turn into cars. The focus was always on the fight, but folks gave it a pass for trying. The robots were still here to kick ass, but at least we got a try at why they were here to kick ass. It made the first movie a lot of fun. Stupid fun, but not just plain stupid like the second once. Watching the second one, it seemed like Michael "360 shot" Bay was a bit subdued in the first installment and that the second one was his true canvas on which to demolish freely.
Peace!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Take Me Away
Over this past weekend, Amanda and I took in two movies. We go to movies quite often, but two times in just over 24 hours was unusual since the first experience usually gobbles up 30 plus dollars.
We saw the new Sandra Bullock picture, The Blind Side, which was nice and inspirational even though it laid it on thick and made it seem like all of life's problems could be solved with money and sass. Lots of sass. It also didn't help that I know next to nothing about football particularly the fervent loyalty of fans in the Southern SEC. Living in Cleveland, my football knowledge is limited to "$@!# Browns!" You should check it out. A great story heightened by its true basis. And Kathy Bates is in it.
We also checked out the following film...
Starring Milla "Lilu Dalla Multipass" Jovovich, The Fourth Kind is a supernartual thriller based on supposed true events in the town of Nome, Alaska. Folks in our 49th state are having trouble sleeping and it has something to do with an owl. Or a murderer? Or ancient Sumerians? Or aliens?
This movie is a hot damn mess. I try to steer clear of technical criticism since I would not know a filter from a gaffer, but the whole setup was distracting. Much like The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, Fourth Kind includes so called actual footage into the movie. This time we are told that the recordings are from actual sessions with Milla's character, psychologist Abigail Tyler, and show her patients' violent reactions to remembering being taken. The movie decided to juxtapose these images with shot for shot reenactments with Milla and the crew. So we are seeing two movies at once. Except it is the same thing! Maybe another angle would have helped, but its like watching your home movies made with a much bigger budget. The film even divides the scenes into a quad screen with moving borders that increase and decrease the size of each panel as the scene progresses.
I have no idea why the film makers tried this. Why show us the same thing two, three, even, four times? Maybe it was to give the supposed real photo some extra authenticity. The time we would really like the reenactments are those scare moments when the aliens show up and the cameras goes all wonky. Between distorted snow we often see some creepy images of victims floating in the air and distorted into grotesque poses. This are few and far between and presented in the same shaky-cam style that made The Blair Witch Project a chore. The dual view took me times out of the experience and had me and some of the fellow movie goers laughing at were supposed to be harrowing scenes.
The film plays fast and loose with its plot. I could appreciate the scatter shot approach if this was indeed based on true stories, but it is not. Universal Studios actually lost a lawsuit brought forward by the Alaska Press Club because of the deceptive promotion. A viral marketing campaign peppered sites with fake news stories associate to actual Alaskan media. The artifice of the story requires good story telling, not ham handed efforts to make all of this seem real.
I wanted to like this movie and I wanted to lose sleep over it. As a young boy and teenager, I was obsessed with the paranormal and especially aliens. I have since become much more skeptical, but the fear of those almond eye emaciated visitors still creeps me out. Indeed, there is something alien and soul less about that imagery. However, Fourth Kind never even shows the monsters or hints at their faces. The big reveal is a bunch of black shadows coming for Abigail. You don't need to give us the full monster Monty, but a peek or peer would have been nice.
Many critics have also pointed out that the whole owl omen is hokey. A.O. Scott of The New York times said that owls are not scary. I must agree that the owl omen is never used to full effect, but feel it could have been done right. This image from the trailer hints at a possible transformation of earthly being to alien visitor.
The trailer I saw focused a lot on the owl and I thought we were going to get a sci-fi "The Raven" type scenario where the beings stalk victims with an earthly creature they find appealing.
I hope you don't waste your money on this especially because you can get a better experience watching sixteen year old episodes of The X-Files. Of course, I am in the camp that watching X-Files beats out a lot of things.
Peace!
We saw the new Sandra Bullock picture, The Blind Side, which was nice and inspirational even though it laid it on thick and made it seem like all of life's problems could be solved with money and sass. Lots of sass. It also didn't help that I know next to nothing about football particularly the fervent loyalty of fans in the Southern SEC. Living in Cleveland, my football knowledge is limited to "$@!# Browns!" You should check it out. A great story heightened by its true basis. And Kathy Bates is in it.
We also checked out the following film...
Starring Milla "Lilu Dalla Multipass" Jovovich, The Fourth Kind is a supernartual thriller based on supposed true events in the town of Nome, Alaska. Folks in our 49th state are having trouble sleeping and it has something to do with an owl. Or a murderer? Or ancient Sumerians? Or aliens?
This movie is a hot damn mess. I try to steer clear of technical criticism since I would not know a filter from a gaffer, but the whole setup was distracting. Much like The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, Fourth Kind includes so called actual footage into the movie. This time we are told that the recordings are from actual sessions with Milla's character, psychologist Abigail Tyler, and show her patients' violent reactions to remembering being taken. The movie decided to juxtapose these images with shot for shot reenactments with Milla and the crew. So we are seeing two movies at once. Except it is the same thing! Maybe another angle would have helped, but its like watching your home movies made with a much bigger budget. The film even divides the scenes into a quad screen with moving borders that increase and decrease the size of each panel as the scene progresses.
I have no idea why the film makers tried this. Why show us the same thing two, three, even, four times? Maybe it was to give the supposed real photo some extra authenticity. The time we would really like the reenactments are those scare moments when the aliens show up and the cameras goes all wonky. Between distorted snow we often see some creepy images of victims floating in the air and distorted into grotesque poses. This are few and far between and presented in the same shaky-cam style that made The Blair Witch Project a chore. The dual view took me times out of the experience and had me and some of the fellow movie goers laughing at were supposed to be harrowing scenes.
The film plays fast and loose with its plot. I could appreciate the scatter shot approach if this was indeed based on true stories, but it is not. Universal Studios actually lost a lawsuit brought forward by the Alaska Press Club because of the deceptive promotion. A viral marketing campaign peppered sites with fake news stories associate to actual Alaskan media. The artifice of the story requires good story telling, not ham handed efforts to make all of this seem real.
I wanted to like this movie and I wanted to lose sleep over it. As a young boy and teenager, I was obsessed with the paranormal and especially aliens. I have since become much more skeptical, but the fear of those almond eye emaciated visitors still creeps me out. Indeed, there is something alien and soul less about that imagery. However, Fourth Kind never even shows the monsters or hints at their faces. The big reveal is a bunch of black shadows coming for Abigail. You don't need to give us the full monster Monty, but a peek or peer would have been nice.
Many critics have also pointed out that the whole owl omen is hokey. A.O. Scott of The New York times said that owls are not scary. I must agree that the owl omen is never used to full effect, but feel it could have been done right. This image from the trailer hints at a possible transformation of earthly being to alien visitor.
The trailer I saw focused a lot on the owl and I thought we were going to get a sci-fi "The Raven" type scenario where the beings stalk victims with an earthly creature they find appealing.
I hope you don't waste your money on this especially because you can get a better experience watching sixteen year old episodes of The X-Files. Of course, I am in the camp that watching X-Files beats out a lot of things.
Peace!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
X-Files: I Want To Believe-FOTBP Review
It is done. With the X-Files: I Want to Believe firmly in my cortex, I only need to wait for Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen to come out next June and my movie going days are set.*
I purposely stayed away from IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and even the local movie critic before watching the film. I tend to whore out the movie info sites before watching anything. I never look for spoilers, but any information is welcome.
Speaking of which...The Truth is Still out there and SPOILERS ARE IN HERE!
If you want to be surprised, then stop reading at the posters and look for the Apollo 11 logo at the bottom. Anything in between those two images comes with SPOILERS. I am sorry for the SPOILERS, but I cannot give my full opinion of the film without telling you about some concrete images.
Well, I liked it, but I am a die hard fan. If a movie based on a TV show were ever to alienate or disappoint its fanatics then something horrible must have happened. Something along the lines of the devil making the movie himself. The X-Files: I Want to Believe (IWTB) does no such thing. The exact opposite happens and everything seems to happen to bring Mulder and Scully to the focus.
What did the rest of America think about it?
EEEEPPP! A 31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes! Not good at all! That is only six points higher then Step Up 2: The Streets and five points below 2 Fast 2 Furious! What was that about the devil again?
It is not fair to compare those movies to IWTB. Both of those movies were horrible from the first teaser trailer. If IWTB is supposed to be as big a flop as that rating indicates then we were disappointed once the film ended? What happened?
Duchovny and Anderson bring back their patented energy and chemistry for the movie. Their own little drama makes up for the weak points in the plot. Anderson looks particularly fabulous as Scully. Time has been kind to her and she has not lost any of the dominance she had over the role. I think Duchovny looks great too and for an actor that has tried to move beyond the Mulder role, he falls right back into the quips, rants, and asides. Watching them on screen feels like slipping on a pair of old jeans. The people have still got it.
I got several of my movie wishes granted. No Krycek and CSM. Skinner shows up, but he comes so late in the movie that he is as ethereal as many of the ghosts the agents hunted during the series. I do not know what Mitch Pileggi has been up to since the series ended, but he to comes right back into the Skinner role. He just has the screen presence and intense look (Here in dubbed, "The Pileggi") that makes it feel like he is recognizing ten different things in the room he can use to kill you. You don't fuck with "The Pileggi" look.
Skinner's cameo was great, but it came out of nowhere. He just happens to pop out of black SUV after Scully says she need to speak to someone else at the FBI. What is he? The FBI's special teams? These quick intros and exits exemplify what I think to be the biggest weakness in the film. Like the season 7 episode, this movie is in a "Rush," and it shows. In an opening scene we are lead to believe that Scully and Mulder had some sort of a falling out and hardly speak to one another. This makes sense in light of Mulder's fugitive status at the end of the series and the existence of the neo-conspiracy. Scully has a bit of a tighter alibi and spared of Mulder's pariah status, she becomes a full-fledged doctor at a Catholic hospital. However, right after the scene where Scully explains the relationship, she drives up to an isolated farm house that she and Mulder share. I thought it was his little hideout, but that is there house. I ran with my mistaken belief through the first crime scenes. Mulder and Scully are definitely getting back into their groove while the question the supposedly psychic Father Joe (Well acted by Billy Connolly, but with little character development), but Scully fears that Mulder will be swept back into "the darkness." She would also then be swept into the mix, forcing her to abandon her work and terminally ill pediatric patient. Hence, they are former partners and lovers, divided by their desire for stability and safety versus "the truth."
Of course, the very next scene is a classic Scully in bed moment where she reflects on the case under the covers. We then see Mulder pull up from behind her and start to spoon with her! We do not get to see the deed, but it is directly implied that they made love just a few moments ago and you were probably out getting popcorn you sucker movie goers.
Don't get me wrong! Seeing Mulder and Scully spooning in bed like a pair of old lover set my fanboy heart a flutter. And not in some kinky way, but in a Fuck Yeah! sort of way. All wonderful stuff, but didn't we just spend thirty minutes realizing that they are trying to keep a low profile? I guess not.
The plot is a bit loopy. This creates both pros and cons. I will not get into any huge spoilers, but there a few notable scenes that just seem there to pad for time, most notably an exchange between one of the villains and a lawyer. Consequently, all the characters in that scene are played by no-names with no connection to the franchise canon. Considering that what brought Mulder and Scully back together was a missing FBI agent, we spend no time learning exactly why this agent is impossible enough to ask for Fox Mulder's help. Amanda Peet does as much as she can with her brief character and their are inklings that she is supposed to have some sort of professional crush on Mulder. Thankfully, these ham handed bits do not lead to a Scully/Dakota Whitney catfight and Peet's character is quickly killed off. This also felt rushed, as if the creators wanted to up the villains "evil" ranking. Are we supposed to feel bad for her? No one on the case seems to. Xzibit acts what is essentially an X-Files mold role of "super skeptical cop." He does it well with a deep voice that comes off as both authoritative and defiant. Like Sam Jackson Lite. Very lite, actually.
The nice bit of the loopy plot is that we get treated to several possible explanations for the crimes. Could it really be a psychic connection? Or is it something more mundane like plain old fashioned kidnapping? The twists are OK and keep the plot fresh, albeit un-shocking. The end proves anticlimatic. The agents get their man, but considering that the criminals one henchman is "Guy With An Ax," it makes you miss the days when the agents had to battle Alien Bounty Hunters and the entire Peacock family to solve the case. It was nice to see a true mad scientist as the villian and you cannot deny the sheer fun of an actual mutant two-headed guard dog! But, again, he only has one.
It is a beautiful looking movie with many gorgeous snows capes. None of the images are especially haunting or arresting, but the slow pacing of a line of FBI men with scouting poles contrasts nicely with the exploding summer blockbusters. There is one lovely scene where we view Father Joe face on as he walks toward us (i.e., a frozen lake). In the background is a snowy cabin and the spruce trees behind it are throwing off a faint miasma of snow that creates an icy rainbow. If the X-Files series had been shot as a cheap set sitcom/drama then these scenes would be mind blowing and innovative. However, IWTB is a victim of its parent's own success and just meets the bar of lovely X-Files backdrops.
Mark Snow is back at the sound board and you couldn't ask for anyone else but this series veteran to provide a soundtrack. There are some humorous touches. I think some people might find an early scene where Scully and Mulder are waiting in an FBI hallway and the cameras pans to a portrait picture of George W. Bush. The X-Files theme music then chimes in and both agents looked puzzled. This is both a jab at an unpopular president (And he looks particularly goofy in the picture in case you want to thrown in "Leftist Hollywood" conspiracy observations) and a reference to the show's history. Pictures of public officials are not uncommon in federal facilities and you could always see the floating head of Bill Clinton or Janet Reno in Skinner's office. In the later seasons this was changed to Bush to reflect his swindl...err...I mean election in 2000. In an ultimate "Pileggi" moment I could Skinner beating CSM to death with a framed picture of Janet Reno!
I find it interesting how many online discussions mentions how a successful (or unsuccessful) movie performance could determine the future of the series. I must have missed something because I consider this a nice epilogue. Like Sex and The City: The Movie, IWTB exists because it would be great to see our favorite characters again. The film is unkind to newcomers. If you never watched an episode of The X-Files then this would be a truly horrible movie. It might do well if you have a casual attraction to the show or remember older family and friends watching it in the 1990's. It can make you want to explore all the back story that the movie plays fast and loose with. All the nostalgic touches (William, the fish tank, the sunflower seeds, the pencils, Samantha, Scully's faith, etc.) whip up fanatics, but can either confuse or annoy first comers. Sadly, IWTB has no scares or chills. If this was supposed to be an important chronicle in X-Files history then where is the scary zing?! The writer play around with the very idea of the X-Files. When Scully fears that Mulder will get sucked back into "the darkness" and lose his mind he retorts by saying this is what he does. Interesting to consider the X-Files defined not so much by finding the elusive truth, but instead defined by the search for it. Getting there is half the fun in The X-Files and it lends the show an air of agelessness.
If you could not guess from the X-Files Week coverage, I was excited for this movie and the lack of hype actually made me even more anxious. I never expected it to become a smash, but still expected something higher then 31%. Designed to signal the end of the summer 2009 movie season, IWTB premiered only a week after The Dark Knight. Since our theater still had three screens showing that Batman bad boy it is safe to say that IWTB had quite the expectations to meet. We got a big long episode, which is usually the flaw in TV to film adaptations, but considering the movie was just supposed to have some fun in the X-Files universe, that formula feels necessary. It still accounts for many of the film's weaknesses, but bringing the conspiracy back to full life and ending on some cliffhanger would have muddied the X-Files experience.
I would have paid $9.50 to see Mulder and Scully share a cup of coffee and slice of pie at the local diner. I would have still wanted to see Skinner pull off his "Pileggi," but X-Files can take me anywhere. If IWTB makes even just one new viewer want to give the TV series a try then it was all worth it.
Peace and Don't Give Up!
*Well...they might make a Green Lantern movie. Someday. Or another movie based on a Palahniuk book or CivilWar Land in Bad Decline film. I pray for a Daredevil remake. Every God damn day.
I purposely stayed away from IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and even the local movie critic before watching the film. I tend to whore out the movie info sites before watching anything. I never look for spoilers, but any information is welcome.
Speaking of which...The Truth is Still out there and SPOILERS ARE IN HERE!
If you want to be surprised, then stop reading at the posters and look for the Apollo 11 logo at the bottom. Anything in between those two images comes with SPOILERS. I am sorry for the SPOILERS, but I cannot give my full opinion of the film without telling you about some concrete images.
Well, I liked it, but I am a die hard fan. If a movie based on a TV show were ever to alienate or disappoint its fanatics then something horrible must have happened. Something along the lines of the devil making the movie himself. The X-Files: I Want to Believe (IWTB) does no such thing. The exact opposite happens and everything seems to happen to bring Mulder and Scully to the focus.
What did the rest of America think about it?
EEEEPPP! A 31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes! Not good at all! That is only six points higher then Step Up 2: The Streets and five points below 2 Fast 2 Furious! What was that about the devil again?
It is not fair to compare those movies to IWTB. Both of those movies were horrible from the first teaser trailer. If IWTB is supposed to be as big a flop as that rating indicates then we were disappointed once the film ended? What happened?
Duchovny and Anderson bring back their patented energy and chemistry for the movie. Their own little drama makes up for the weak points in the plot. Anderson looks particularly fabulous as Scully. Time has been kind to her and she has not lost any of the dominance she had over the role. I think Duchovny looks great too and for an actor that has tried to move beyond the Mulder role, he falls right back into the quips, rants, and asides. Watching them on screen feels like slipping on a pair of old jeans. The people have still got it.
I got several of my movie wishes granted. No Krycek and CSM. Skinner shows up, but he comes so late in the movie that he is as ethereal as many of the ghosts the agents hunted during the series. I do not know what Mitch Pileggi has been up to since the series ended, but he to comes right back into the Skinner role. He just has the screen presence and intense look (Here in dubbed, "The Pileggi") that makes it feel like he is recognizing ten different things in the room he can use to kill you. You don't fuck with "The Pileggi" look.
Skinner's cameo was great, but it came out of nowhere. He just happens to pop out of black SUV after Scully says she need to speak to someone else at the FBI. What is he? The FBI's special teams? These quick intros and exits exemplify what I think to be the biggest weakness in the film. Like the season 7 episode, this movie is in a "Rush," and it shows. In an opening scene we are lead to believe that Scully and Mulder had some sort of a falling out and hardly speak to one another. This makes sense in light of Mulder's fugitive status at the end of the series and the existence of the neo-conspiracy. Scully has a bit of a tighter alibi and spared of Mulder's pariah status, she becomes a full-fledged doctor at a Catholic hospital. However, right after the scene where Scully explains the relationship, she drives up to an isolated farm house that she and Mulder share. I thought it was his little hideout, but that is there house. I ran with my mistaken belief through the first crime scenes. Mulder and Scully are definitely getting back into their groove while the question the supposedly psychic Father Joe (Well acted by Billy Connolly, but with little character development), but Scully fears that Mulder will be swept back into "the darkness." She would also then be swept into the mix, forcing her to abandon her work and terminally ill pediatric patient. Hence, they are former partners and lovers, divided by their desire for stability and safety versus "the truth."
Of course, the very next scene is a classic Scully in bed moment where she reflects on the case under the covers. We then see Mulder pull up from behind her and start to spoon with her! We do not get to see the deed, but it is directly implied that they made love just a few moments ago and you were probably out getting popcorn you sucker movie goers.
Don't get me wrong! Seeing Mulder and Scully spooning in bed like a pair of old lover set my fanboy heart a flutter. And not in some kinky way, but in a Fuck Yeah! sort of way. All wonderful stuff, but didn't we just spend thirty minutes realizing that they are trying to keep a low profile? I guess not.
The plot is a bit loopy. This creates both pros and cons. I will not get into any huge spoilers, but there a few notable scenes that just seem there to pad for time, most notably an exchange between one of the villains and a lawyer. Consequently, all the characters in that scene are played by no-names with no connection to the franchise canon. Considering that what brought Mulder and Scully back together was a missing FBI agent, we spend no time learning exactly why this agent is impossible enough to ask for Fox Mulder's help. Amanda Peet does as much as she can with her brief character and their are inklings that she is supposed to have some sort of professional crush on Mulder. Thankfully, these ham handed bits do not lead to a Scully/Dakota Whitney catfight and Peet's character is quickly killed off. This also felt rushed, as if the creators wanted to up the villains "evil" ranking. Are we supposed to feel bad for her? No one on the case seems to. Xzibit acts what is essentially an X-Files mold role of "super skeptical cop." He does it well with a deep voice that comes off as both authoritative and defiant. Like Sam Jackson Lite. Very lite, actually.
The nice bit of the loopy plot is that we get treated to several possible explanations for the crimes. Could it really be a psychic connection? Or is it something more mundane like plain old fashioned kidnapping? The twists are OK and keep the plot fresh, albeit un-shocking. The end proves anticlimatic. The agents get their man, but considering that the criminals one henchman is "Guy With An Ax," it makes you miss the days when the agents had to battle Alien Bounty Hunters and the entire Peacock family to solve the case. It was nice to see a true mad scientist as the villian and you cannot deny the sheer fun of an actual mutant two-headed guard dog! But, again, he only has one.
It is a beautiful looking movie with many gorgeous snows capes. None of the images are especially haunting or arresting, but the slow pacing of a line of FBI men with scouting poles contrasts nicely with the exploding summer blockbusters. There is one lovely scene where we view Father Joe face on as he walks toward us (i.e., a frozen lake). In the background is a snowy cabin and the spruce trees behind it are throwing off a faint miasma of snow that creates an icy rainbow. If the X-Files series had been shot as a cheap set sitcom/drama then these scenes would be mind blowing and innovative. However, IWTB is a victim of its parent's own success and just meets the bar of lovely X-Files backdrops.
Mark Snow is back at the sound board and you couldn't ask for anyone else but this series veteran to provide a soundtrack. There are some humorous touches. I think some people might find an early scene where Scully and Mulder are waiting in an FBI hallway and the cameras pans to a portrait picture of George W. Bush. The X-Files theme music then chimes in and both agents looked puzzled. This is both a jab at an unpopular president (And he looks particularly goofy in the picture in case you want to thrown in "Leftist Hollywood" conspiracy observations) and a reference to the show's history. Pictures of public officials are not uncommon in federal facilities and you could always see the floating head of Bill Clinton or Janet Reno in Skinner's office. In the later seasons this was changed to Bush to reflect his swindl...err...I mean election in 2000. In an ultimate "Pileggi" moment I could Skinner beating CSM to death with a framed picture of Janet Reno!
I find it interesting how many online discussions mentions how a successful (or unsuccessful) movie performance could determine the future of the series. I must have missed something because I consider this a nice epilogue. Like Sex and The City: The Movie, IWTB exists because it would be great to see our favorite characters again. The film is unkind to newcomers. If you never watched an episode of The X-Files then this would be a truly horrible movie. It might do well if you have a casual attraction to the show or remember older family and friends watching it in the 1990's. It can make you want to explore all the back story that the movie plays fast and loose with. All the nostalgic touches (William, the fish tank, the sunflower seeds, the pencils, Samantha, Scully's faith, etc.) whip up fanatics, but can either confuse or annoy first comers. Sadly, IWTB has no scares or chills. If this was supposed to be an important chronicle in X-Files history then where is the scary zing?! The writer play around with the very idea of the X-Files. When Scully fears that Mulder will get sucked back into "the darkness" and lose his mind he retorts by saying this is what he does. Interesting to consider the X-Files defined not so much by finding the elusive truth, but instead defined by the search for it. Getting there is half the fun in The X-Files and it lends the show an air of agelessness.
If you could not guess from the X-Files Week coverage, I was excited for this movie and the lack of hype actually made me even more anxious. I never expected it to become a smash, but still expected something higher then 31%. Designed to signal the end of the summer 2009 movie season, IWTB premiered only a week after The Dark Knight. Since our theater still had three screens showing that Batman bad boy it is safe to say that IWTB had quite the expectations to meet. We got a big long episode, which is usually the flaw in TV to film adaptations, but considering the movie was just supposed to have some fun in the X-Files universe, that formula feels necessary. It still accounts for many of the film's weaknesses, but bringing the conspiracy back to full life and ending on some cliffhanger would have muddied the X-Files experience.
I would have paid $9.50 to see Mulder and Scully share a cup of coffee and slice of pie at the local diner. I would have still wanted to see Skinner pull off his "Pileggi," but X-Files can take me anywhere. If IWTB makes even just one new viewer want to give the TV series a try then it was all worth it.
Peace and Don't Give Up!
*Well...they might make a Green Lantern movie. Someday. Or another movie based on a Palahniuk book or CivilWar Land in Bad Decline film. I pray for a Daredevil remake. Every God damn day.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Your homework is due
It is July 26, 2008 If you haven't seen the X-Files: I Want to Believe already, then drop everything you are doing and go see it! Yes, stop reading this blog and go! I shudder to think of all those new readers I must be losing, but you have to see the movie.
I already did. What did I think of it? Well, you will have to wait until Sunday for that. Use the time to go the see the movie! Peace!
I already did. What did I think of it? Well, you will have to wait until Sunday for that. Use the time to go the see the movie! Peace!
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Day is Here!
It is July 25th! Back in the PR, it is Constitution Day and, depending on your political preferences, you are either celebrating or protesting. Everyone gets a day off and at every event there will be lots and lots of Coors Light. Seriously, Coors Light is to Puerto Ricans like Spam is to Hawaiians. Remember that truck from Smokey and the Bandit filled with Coors Light? It went right past the South and floated all the way to San Juan.
It is also the day the Andrea Doria sunk and the day the Cerro Maravilla killings took place and atomic test took place on Bikini Atoll and the Air France Concorde crash.
Christ on a Bike! What a day to launch what has to be the greatest thing to come out of 2008! The movie will make up for all those things*
What movie, you say?
Of course, there are a few things I would like to see and not see. Let us start with the good...
Aside from those specifics, I just want to have fun! Here is a link to Fandango for those of you that have not already found your X-Files crucibl...errr....I mean local movie theather.
Peace and happy movie viewing!
*No, it will not. But it is still X-Files!
** An overreaching analogy, but, like Batman's Joker, Cigarette Smoking Man was originally created a a filler character. They then both grew to prominent evil doing.
It is also the day the Andrea Doria sunk and the day the Cerro Maravilla killings took place and atomic test took place on Bikini Atoll and the Air France Concorde crash.
Christ on a Bike! What a day to launch what has to be the greatest thing to come out of 2008! The movie will make up for all those things*
What movie, you say?
DID YOU JUST STUMBLE UPON THIS BLOG!?!?!?
Just like the first X-Files movie, the creators have kept quiet about the film and I have stayed away from teaser/discussion sites. I will be thorughly unprepared for the film and isn't that the way we should watch our based on a TV show movies? Here comes a big episode and I refuse to press the "Info" button on the remote.If so, thanks for reading and go to your local movie theatre because X-Files: I Want to Believe is premeiring today nationwide!!!!!!!
Of course, there are a few things I would like to see and not see. Let us start with the good...
- I would like to see or hear a reference to Doggett and Reyes. What ever happened to them after they break Mulder out of jail and escape the Black Helicopters? I realize that they are not in movie, but give us something Mr. Carter!
- I want Walter Skinner! Mitch Pileggi dominated that role and I even think he did his best when he narrated Fox's Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed specials!
- Another Mulder and Scully kiss! EEEEE!
- The expected twist ending. All the "monster of the week" episodes ended with a twist that showed us the beasts were still out there. With the movie being a monster episode, I would appreciate a nice focus shot on a thicket of trees and then see some eyes staring back at us. With out such a touch, it really isn't X-Files.
- Alex Krycek. HE IS DEAD! I remember the episode (Season 8's "Existence") where Skinner shot him ice cold killa style with a 9mm bullet to the head. I lept off the bed and shouted in murderous joy! Never have I despised such a TV villain until Lost's Others. It was fun to watch them blown to bits in the Season 3 finale.
- The Cigarette Smoking Man. He is also dead. He single handily changed history several times and is the Joker to Mulder and Scully's Batman**, but all men pay for their sins.
- Crap. Oh man, I really hope the movie doesn't suck.
Aside from those specifics, I just want to have fun! Here is a link to Fandango for those of you that have not already found your X-Files crucibl...errr....I mean local movie theather.
Peace and happy movie viewing!
*No, it will not. But it is still X-Files!
** An overreaching analogy, but, like Batman's Joker, Cigarette Smoking Man was originally created a a filler character. They then both grew to prominent evil doing.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
One Year To Go!
What an exciting time late June 2009 will be! By this point in 2009, Amanda and I will be married and, on this very date (June 26, 2009*) the sequel to the Transformers live action movie will premiere!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Previous posts should tell you how much Amanda and I adored Transformers! We saw the movie four times in the theater and once at Cornell Cinema. Funny that the one and only time I ever went to Cornell Cinema was to see a huge Hollywood blockbuster (as opposed to an art house film), but how can you deny another opportunity to watch this movie! Forget about the intelligentsia and pray, please pray, that the sequel will meet expectations.
Of course, the Internet teems with rumors. I tend to steer clear of these and I seriously do not want any spoilers...except for what robots we can expect to see!
So it looks like much of the original cast will return and that Rainn Wilson of The Office will also star in a minor role! I can't wait for the reciprocality between the film and the The Office series. I can imagine Dwight touching on the film...
"I love Japan, but I would never visit. They have several armored transforming robots and girls in mini skirts protecting their islands. Yeah, islands. It is made up of several. Blew your mind, uh? Just like Japan."
I do hope that the robot Jazz returns. Even though it is a movie about giant robots and has a girl dodging debris in pumps and a belly shirt, I can appreciate that the writers killed off a (somewhat) likeable character. But I want him back! He is so slick and did you see his car!? I want that super modified Pontiac Solstice. It would be like driving the Millenium Falcon!
Michael Bay is back creating his unique brand of "bay-hem**" and that is great! I can't believe I just said that, but you have to stick true to the original. If I read a book written by a trained chimp and really enjoyed it, then I would only want the trained chimp to write the second novel. Of course, Michael Bay is not a chimp and he made the incredibly exciting first Transformers film, so he gets some serious credit on this blog. I am a fanboy, but not a mean fanboy. I don't care if Bay and the writers color Starscream entirely cool grey or Arcee (a new Autobot that also doubles as a token female character) something not pink.
"But Statrscream was red, blue, yellow, and grey in the G1 cartoon! And Arcee was pink! " say the fanboys. "You will pay Bay!"
Yes, and a tri-colored jet fighter painted by what seems to be Mrs. Luofer's pre-school art class seems realistic. And a female character colored entirely in hot pink? What a great message to young girls. You can be anything you want to be ladies, but only wear these colors.
While fanboys dominate the Internet buzz and will debate the movies endlessly, I think we geeks sometimes forget that these movies make there money because the non-geeky watch them as well. The writers already need to get around the fact that giant, sentient, robotic organisms, from space, somehow come to Earth and decide to change into cars. And planes. And stereos. Oh, and we also want to writers to color them hot pink.
Sure, you need to stick to the originals, but I would not mind if that chimp write his second novel on a computer instead of a typewriter.
Oh, I can't wait! PEACE!
*This could change, which means I would have to keep living for even longer. So far, so good!
**Seriously, this is what Bay's crew call his distinct style of movie making.
Of course, the Internet teems with rumors. I tend to steer clear of these and I seriously do not want any spoilers...except for what robots we can expect to see!
So it looks like much of the original cast will return and that Rainn Wilson of The Office will also star in a minor role! I can't wait for the reciprocality between the film and the The Office series. I can imagine Dwight touching on the film...
"I love Japan, but I would never visit. They have several armored transforming robots and girls in mini skirts protecting their islands. Yeah, islands. It is made up of several. Blew your mind, uh? Just like Japan."
I do hope that the robot Jazz returns. Even though it is a movie about giant robots and has a girl dodging debris in pumps and a belly shirt, I can appreciate that the writers killed off a (somewhat) likeable character. But I want him back! He is so slick and did you see his car!? I want that super modified Pontiac Solstice. It would be like driving the Millenium Falcon!
Michael Bay is back creating his unique brand of "bay-hem**" and that is great! I can't believe I just said that, but you have to stick true to the original. If I read a book written by a trained chimp and really enjoyed it, then I would only want the trained chimp to write the second novel. Of course, Michael Bay is not a chimp and he made the incredibly exciting first Transformers film, so he gets some serious credit on this blog. I am a fanboy, but not a mean fanboy. I don't care if Bay and the writers color Starscream entirely cool grey or Arcee (a new Autobot that also doubles as a token female character) something not pink.
"But Statrscream was red, blue, yellow, and grey in the G1 cartoon! And Arcee was pink! " say the fanboys. "You will pay Bay!"
Yes, and a tri-colored jet fighter painted by what seems to be Mrs. Luofer's pre-school art class seems realistic. And a female character colored entirely in hot pink? What a great message to young girls. You can be anything you want to be ladies, but only wear these colors.
While fanboys dominate the Internet buzz and will debate the movies endlessly, I think we geeks sometimes forget that these movies make there money because the non-geeky watch them as well. The writers already need to get around the fact that giant, sentient, robotic organisms, from space, somehow come to Earth and decide to change into cars. And planes. And stereos. Oh, and we also want to writers to color them hot pink.
Sure, you need to stick to the originals, but I would not mind if that chimp write his second novel on a computer instead of a typewriter.
Oh, I can't wait! PEACE!
*This could change, which means I would have to keep living for even longer. So far, so good!
**Seriously, this is what Bay's crew call his distinct style of movie making.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
It's ON!
You are luck to be alive blog readers because this movie is coming to theaters July 25, 2008.
OH FUCK YES! It is the X-Files: I Want to Believe trailer! The long awaited X-Files sequel's trailer not shot on a cell phone camera!
Wow, am I excited. I just need to live until Transformers 2 comes out in 2009 and then I can die a happy man. Unless they get the ball rolling on a Green Lantern movie sometime in the next twenty years. I need to keep drinking my green tea and jogging if I am going to make it to that one!
I can wax on and on about X-Files. It is the only show where I ever wanted to lash out against so-called "n00bs," and some of those You Tube comments just drove me bat-shit up the wall frustrated. You kids should really watch the whole series until posting up crazy assumptions that will spread on the Internet.
Krycek is dead, folks! At least we should hope so because he is evil incarnate. Didn't you watch the scene where Skinner shoots him through head? It was a religious experience, purgative and exhilarating! We already know the "Truth," just watch the final episode. It tells you everything and, plus, has Adam Baldwin in it, the hero of Canton! It is sad that the Lone Gunmen will not be in it (We are to believe since they died in the regular season), but they died American patriots. You want them to still be plugging away at their basement in northern Virginia and selling all their spy gear to save the struggling paper!?!?!
We already knew that the sequel would be a "Monster of the Week" episode since last year. This is a wonderful thing because Monster of the Week episodes are often overlooked by the neophytes. Your never got your significant other to watch X-Files until you showed them the Flukeman episode from Season 2. Or creeped them out with the Peacocks in Season 4. Leonard the murderous conjoined twin and Big Blue in Georgia! Oh, poor Scully's dog, Queequeg. The first movie attracted non-viewers and fan boys alike with an accessible and engaging script. This is an even wider door open and while the "n00bs" might bug me now, they all become fans and we sure need more of those!
Please mark your calendars for July 25, 2008. Call in sick, leave the dog some extra food in his dish, and try to pass the movie off as an educational home-schooled field trip to your kid's principal! HOORAY FOR X-FILES!!!!
Peace!
OH FUCK YES! It is the X-Files: I Want to Believe trailer! The long awaited X-Files sequel's trailer not shot on a cell phone camera!
Wow, am I excited. I just need to live until Transformers 2 comes out in 2009 and then I can die a happy man. Unless they get the ball rolling on a Green Lantern movie sometime in the next twenty years. I need to keep drinking my green tea and jogging if I am going to make it to that one!
I can wax on and on about X-Files. It is the only show where I ever wanted to lash out against so-called "n00bs," and some of those You Tube comments just drove me bat-shit up the wall frustrated. You kids should really watch the whole series until posting up crazy assumptions that will spread on the Internet.
Krycek is dead, folks! At least we should hope so because he is evil incarnate. Didn't you watch the scene where Skinner shoots him through head? It was a religious experience, purgative and exhilarating! We already know the "Truth," just watch the final episode. It tells you everything and, plus, has Adam Baldwin in it, the hero of Canton! It is sad that the Lone Gunmen will not be in it (We are to believe since they died in the regular season), but they died American patriots. You want them to still be plugging away at their basement in northern Virginia and selling all their spy gear to save the struggling paper!?!?!
We already knew that the sequel would be a "Monster of the Week" episode since last year. This is a wonderful thing because Monster of the Week episodes are often overlooked by the neophytes. Your never got your significant other to watch X-Files until you showed them the Flukeman episode from Season 2. Or creeped them out with the Peacocks in Season 4. Leonard the murderous conjoined twin and Big Blue in Georgia! Oh, poor Scully's dog, Queequeg. The first movie attracted non-viewers and fan boys alike with an accessible and engaging script. This is an even wider door open and while the "n00bs" might bug me now, they all become fans and we sure need more of those!
Please mark your calendars for July 25, 2008. Call in sick, leave the dog some extra food in his dish, and try to pass the movie off as an educational home-schooled field trip to your kid's principal! HOORAY FOR X-FILES!!!!
Peace!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
More EEE!
Hey, you liking the somewhat regular posts, eh? Well TOO BAD because I just got slammed with some more stories for the paper and the Transformers Score came from Amazon today! Only thing greater than the movie was the rocking score composed by Steve Jablosnky. I know even less about music than I know about acting, but I know what I like. Thank you for the moving score Mr. Jablonsky!
Gosh, I'm a sucker for these heavy-handed action scores. Really like the Firefly/Serenity music as well. Especially that one part in Serenity where we pan to the ship re-entering a planet. The scene is very early on it them film, following the title. I dig the curly space banjo coming right after the somber liquid string notes. Here it is on YouTube.
Can you describe music as curly? I guess, I just did. Avoiding the snow by cutting through the IC music school during college finally paid off! YES!
For those of you unfamiliar with the Transformers score, play around on YouTube and take a listen. Here is my favorite:
Geeks: We may not know whose on the Top 40, but we sure can hum our favorite tune from Final Fantasy!
I will bring you a post sometime this week. What did I shovel growing up instead of snow. Mangoes. Yes, mangoes.
Gosh, I'm a sucker for these heavy-handed action scores. Really like the Firefly/Serenity music as well. Especially that one part in Serenity where we pan to the ship re-entering a planet. The scene is very early on it them film, following the title. I dig the curly space banjo coming right after the somber liquid string notes. Here it is on YouTube.
Can you describe music as curly? I guess, I just did. Avoiding the snow by cutting through the IC music school during college finally paid off! YES!
For those of you unfamiliar with the Transformers score, play around on YouTube and take a listen. Here is my favorite:
Geeks: We may not know whose on the Top 40, but we sure can hum our favorite tune from Final Fantasy!
I will bring you a post sometime this week. What did I shovel growing up instead of snow. Mangoes. Yes, mangoes.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
More Great Works Defiled!
JESSE JAMES BUNNY!
I'm the greatest American outlaw! I took the lives of over 15 men and feared no Pinkerton operatives. I never meet a train I wouldn't rob or a stagecoach I wouldn't turn. Oh, and the South shall rise again.
OH NO!
PIGGY FORD!
PIGGY FORD!
I sure did like Jesse, but I loved the reward money even better! I shot Jesse James, governor Crittenden! Love me! Oh, and fuck the South, even though I am from Missouri.
"Bah! Whatever, Piggy Ford! No one named Pokemon villains after you. Or whole American mythologies either, by the way."
"Whatever. I still killed you. Cause it's 187 on an undercover cop! YEAH!"
"What? That lyric isn't relative at all!"
"Oh, um. That picture is awful dusty?"
"Those are my last words! You thieving Yankee cowardly piggy!"
"Bah! Whatever, Piggy Ford! No one named Pokemon villains after you. Or whole American mythologies either, by the way."
"Whatever. I still killed you. Cause it's 187 on an undercover cop! YEAH!"
"What? That lyric isn't relative at all!"
"Oh, um. That picture is awful dusty?"
"Those are my last words! You thieving Yankee cowardly piggy!"
__________________________________________
Amanda and I saw The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford last week and I thoroughly enjoyed my first ever Western. However, I was disappointed by the lack of gunfights in my first ever Western. More gunfights! More swindling and horse rustling. More stereotypes!
Scratch that. I don't know very much about the Old West, but I do understand that most of the action around it was framed by the Reconstruction period. Former Confederates flew to the Territory hatching schemes on how to bring back Dixie. However, it was also known national for federal expansion and the conflict over local autonomy. Finally, it's the frontier and living on any frontier isn't easy. Gun fights weren't as deadly as in the movies because, well, it wasn't the movies. The railroad dominated the landscape and you had to be one tough criminal to take them on. Like most things in the American "Master Narrative," the imagery sometimes does not hold up to the reality.
I enjoyed the films rolling narrative and thought the voice overs were a nice touch. I read some reviews on Rotten Tomatoes that found it too didactic. While it did feel like the book the movie was based on just came onto the screen, the technique is justified. Jesse James story was a whole myth and you needed a separate storyteller to build all that. If we had that all through some words flashed on the screen then it would have been harder to absorb. They also gave the movie a good sense of pace, leading up to Jesse's assassination, building him as all to real man that was still legendary. Imagine if someone described you in a solid, haunting, lyrical voice-over.
Finally, I like Brad Pitt no matter what anyone says. And I also like Ben Affleck and his brother is in the movie giving a great performance. It feels weird for me to say someone acted well. I don't know anything about acting except that I certainly couldn't even do a second of screen/stage time. Even if I was "Pedestrian 4" in the far left corner of the screen, I could not produce the right combination of standing in my costume and staying quiet necessary for high-caliber cinema. Forget it if I even had to move. Imagine me as "Guy Buying Fruit 2." Disaster.
With that said, even all those directors frien...err...I mean struggling actors you see in student films could out act me. Still, Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck rocked their respective roles. Pitt having this hurt bravado, a man increasingly paranoid, but still believing he was in control. Affleck runs with a dangerous innocence, someone inherently harmless and weak, but still capable of the simplest violence. Imagine a five-year old with a gun. Or something like that.
For more (eloquent) reading, the film critic for our paper, Nicholas NiCastro, did a great review of the movie for the paper in our October 29-November 4th edition. Check it out!
Peace!
Scratch that. I don't know very much about the Old West, but I do understand that most of the action around it was framed by the Reconstruction period. Former Confederates flew to the Territory hatching schemes on how to bring back Dixie. However, it was also known national for federal expansion and the conflict over local autonomy. Finally, it's the frontier and living on any frontier isn't easy. Gun fights weren't as deadly as in the movies because, well, it wasn't the movies. The railroad dominated the landscape and you had to be one tough criminal to take them on. Like most things in the American "Master Narrative," the imagery sometimes does not hold up to the reality.
I enjoyed the films rolling narrative and thought the voice overs were a nice touch. I read some reviews on Rotten Tomatoes that found it too didactic. While it did feel like the book the movie was based on just came onto the screen, the technique is justified. Jesse James story was a whole myth and you needed a separate storyteller to build all that. If we had that all through some words flashed on the screen then it would have been harder to absorb. They also gave the movie a good sense of pace, leading up to Jesse's assassination, building him as all to real man that was still legendary. Imagine if someone described you in a solid, haunting, lyrical voice-over.
By the time he was 23, Garik would be diagnosed with asthmatic allergies, as if the air were too rich for his introspection. He took full claim for all 93 blog entries, but little would read them. And he never meet justice for all the drinks he screwed up while as a barista for he fled Tompkins County to parts where people would believe, 'Yes, it's decaf.' I swear."
Finally, I like Brad Pitt no matter what anyone says. And I also like Ben Affleck and his brother is in the movie giving a great performance. It feels weird for me to say someone acted well. I don't know anything about acting except that I certainly couldn't even do a second of screen/stage time. Even if I was "Pedestrian 4" in the far left corner of the screen, I could not produce the right combination of standing in my costume and staying quiet necessary for high-caliber cinema. Forget it if I even had to move. Imagine me as "Guy Buying Fruit 2." Disaster.
With that said, even all those directors frien...err...I mean struggling actors you see in student films could out act me. Still, Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck rocked their respective roles. Pitt having this hurt bravado, a man increasingly paranoid, but still believing he was in control. Affleck runs with a dangerous innocence, someone inherently harmless and weak, but still capable of the simplest violence. Imagine a five-year old with a gun. Or something like that.
For more (eloquent) reading, the film critic for our paper, Nicholas NiCastro, did a great review of the movie for the paper in our October 29-November 4th edition. Check it out!
Peace!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
EEEEEEE!!!!
Transformers comes out today on DVD! EEEEEE!!!!
Deleted scenes where we get to see more of Starscream! EEEEEEE!!!!
Commentary track where we get to here Michael Bay explain the beauty of the 360- degree shot! EEEEEEE!
Deleted scenes where we get to see more of Starscream! EEEEEEE!!!!
Commentary track where we get to here Michael Bay explain the beauty of the 360- degree shot! EEEEEEE!
BUY IT NOW! RENT IT NOW! WATCH IT!
Peace!*
*Oh, I know smart ass. It is funny that I rave about Transformers the day after I got on my soapbox about sustainability. I'm keeping it real, nerd and environmentalist and all.
*Oh, I know smart ass. It is funny that I rave about Transformers the day after I got on my soapbox about sustainability. I'm keeping it real, nerd and environmentalist and all.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Triple Sized Installment!
This will certainly make up for all the inactivity on the blog of late. Here is a TRIPLE-SIZED Movies I Should Have Already Seen for you! DAMN!
Movies I Should Have Already Seen Vol 3., #4, 5, & 6
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Bleh, I must say that I didn't like this movie very much. I believe it is definitely something that you had to have been there to truly appreciate. Imagine being in the summer of 1977 and going to see this while you were still on your Star Wars high? Pretty sweet, eh? However, we all live in a post Encounters world and all I could think of during that scene where the aliens take Barry is the similar scene in Signs. Time has ruined me and also ruins this review. I must also admit that I am biased. I am TERRIFIED of alien greys. Real or not, those little skinny, almond-eyes bastards give me the creeps. They will always be a menacing figure to me and that is why I reciprocate with movies like Signs and Alien. I realize this was the whole point of Encounters, to challenge the monster from space motif, but alien greys are just creepy. Encounters does the creepy part well. The scene where the crablike ship flies over those corn fields, and all we see is its shadow, really shook me up. So did Barry's toys coming to life at the very beginning.
It's not a bad movie at all, but unlike other 70s science fiction classics (Star Wars and Alien) I don't understand why it endures except for the very point that it was amazing when it premiered. Laser gun fights will always be exciting and some big slimy thing coming at you will always be scary. That is what carried those two classics into today! But, Encounters? Spielberg, maybe? Many artistic works suffer this same fate. You ever wonder why we have to read what we do in literature class? However, I have never struggled so hard to appreciate something as I have with Encounters. I feel like I should like it, but I don't.
However, in the end, Richard Dreyfuss does get that bigger boat!
This is one of those movies where I have to quote Jim Gaffigan:
"Hey guys! I just saw Fargo!"
"Fargo!? That movie came out like ten years ago!"
"Yeah, I know! Let's talk about it!"
"No."
"Oh, but I want to talk about it now!"
And, I will damn-it!
I loved Fargo! I loved it, eleven years late, but I still loved it. Ya, hear that the 90's! The prodigal son has come home! Now, I just need to watch Reality Bites.
First, I am sucker for atmosphere. The cold plains and all those wide shots really reeled me in. The location helped framed the movie. Who could imagine all this could happen up in the icy flatlands of northern Minnesota? And the scenes with Frances McDormand all seem just so homey. I couldn't help but smile throughout the entire movie even during those scenes that you really shouldn't. Like the kidnapping scene or where they shoot the state trooper. It was the accent. The Coen brother played off the "Nice Minnesota" stereotype well to add to each characters pluck and/or villany. Imagine the scene between McDormand and Macy, before he flees the car dealership, in anything else but that accent. They even threw in some "darn tootins!" EEEE! Minnesota can do no wrong in my book. It gave us the Coen brothers, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and has a lot of lakes, which if you read this blog, get me waxing all nature writer like.
Transformers: The Movie
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Bleh, I must say that I didn't like this movie very much. I believe it is definitely something that you had to have been there to truly appreciate. Imagine being in the summer of 1977 and going to see this while you were still on your Star Wars high? Pretty sweet, eh? However, we all live in a post Encounters world and all I could think of during that scene where the aliens take Barry is the similar scene in Signs. Time has ruined me and also ruins this review. I must also admit that I am biased. I am TERRIFIED of alien greys. Real or not, those little skinny, almond-eyes bastards give me the creeps. They will always be a menacing figure to me and that is why I reciprocate with movies like Signs and Alien. I realize this was the whole point of Encounters, to challenge the monster from space motif, but alien greys are just creepy. Encounters does the creepy part well. The scene where the crablike ship flies over those corn fields, and all we see is its shadow, really shook me up. So did Barry's toys coming to life at the very beginning.It's not a bad movie at all, but unlike other 70s science fiction classics (Star Wars and Alien) I don't understand why it endures except for the very point that it was amazing when it premiered. Laser gun fights will always be exciting and some big slimy thing coming at you will always be scary. That is what carried those two classics into today! But, Encounters? Spielberg, maybe? Many artistic works suffer this same fate. You ever wonder why we have to read what we do in literature class? However, I have never struggled so hard to appreciate something as I have with Encounters. I feel like I should like it, but I don't.
However, in the end, Richard Dreyfuss does get that bigger boat!
Fargo
This is one of those movies where I have to quote Jim Gaffigan:"Hey guys! I just saw Fargo!"
"Fargo!? That movie came out like ten years ago!"
"Yeah, I know! Let's talk about it!"
"No."
"Oh, but I want to talk about it now!"
And, I will damn-it!
I loved Fargo! I loved it, eleven years late, but I still loved it. Ya, hear that the 90's! The prodigal son has come home! Now, I just need to watch Reality Bites.
First, I am sucker for atmosphere. The cold plains and all those wide shots really reeled me in. The location helped framed the movie. Who could imagine all this could happen up in the icy flatlands of northern Minnesota? And the scenes with Frances McDormand all seem just so homey. I couldn't help but smile throughout the entire movie even during those scenes that you really shouldn't. Like the kidnapping scene or where they shoot the state trooper. It was the accent. The Coen brother played off the "Nice Minnesota" stereotype well to add to each characters pluck and/or villany. Imagine the scene between McDormand and Macy, before he flees the car dealership, in anything else but that accent. They even threw in some "darn tootins!" EEEE! Minnesota can do no wrong in my book. It gave us the Coen brothers, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and has a lot of lakes, which if you read this blog, get me waxing all nature writer like.
Transformers: The Movie
Because Amanda and I still can't stop talking about the live action version, I saw this movie. I must admit that I was never a big Transformers fan. I was too young, in some instances not even born, to watch their first time TV adventures. When it came to reruns of 1980's cartoons, I was more of a GI Joe kid. Hell, my sister was apparently a huge He-Man fan, so that means our household missed one part of this animated trinity.
People get all nostalgic about this movie, but since I never saw it in the first place, most of its appeal is lost on me.
In retrospect, these were some horrible shows. Lackluster animation designed to make us buy the latest toys. This movie gets some regards for being a bit "heavy." Many characters do die on-screen including Optimus Prime. Before Aeris died, there was Optimus Prime's death. It was pretty well done for a cartoon. The creators strengthened his death by countering it with his previous invincibility. If we expect the movie version of TV shows to do bigger and bolder things then we got it with his death.
I knew that Orson Welles was in this movie, but I flipped out at some of the other notables in the voice work. Robert Stack of Unsolved Mysteries fame! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! Eric Idle of Monty Python! SWEET!
I must comment on how much 80s there is in the movie. You got the power ballads ("You got the touch!") and the Weird Al Song "Dare to Be Stupid!" along with neon. Lots and lots of neon.
You also have endless marketing potential. Every robot is joining the fray and every planet hold something else that transforms into something. I can give the movie that Cybertron is full of transforming robots, but every other freaking planet!
And for some weird reason, the entire movie reminded me too much of anime.* At the risk of being flamed off the blog-o-sphere, I don't like anime. At all. I used to. Oh boy. I used to. There was there a time (ages 13-18) where I was a mindless "otaku" but, now I say forget anime. I can get all nostalgic about Robotech and old school Gundam and still have a weak spot for Digimon** , but most of it (Especially the ones kids are all crazy about now. I am looking at you Naruto! Fucking ninjas.) makes a bit queasy. Before this develops into a a seperate post, my big issue with anime is that there are so many people here in the US that assume because it is anime it must be good. No, not good, but AMAZING! If art exists everywhere, then so does crappy art. Including anime.
Peace!
* I can only guess here, but shows like Gundam and Robotech might have influenced the Japanese origins of Transformers. And all those animation studios, where they do the tedious work, are overseas in Asia. Oh, and the movie had a brief scence that reminded me too much of a "tentacle scene." Google that term at your own risk.
** It is superior to Pokemon.
People get all nostalgic about this movie, but since I never saw it in the first place, most of its appeal is lost on me.
In retrospect, these were some horrible shows. Lackluster animation designed to make us buy the latest toys. This movie gets some regards for being a bit "heavy." Many characters do die on-screen including Optimus Prime. Before Aeris died, there was Optimus Prime's death. It was pretty well done for a cartoon. The creators strengthened his death by countering it with his previous invincibility. If we expect the movie version of TV shows to do bigger and bolder things then we got it with his death.
I knew that Orson Welles was in this movie, but I flipped out at some of the other notables in the voice work. Robert Stack of Unsolved Mysteries fame! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! Eric Idle of Monty Python! SWEET!
I must comment on how much 80s there is in the movie. You got the power ballads ("You got the touch!") and the Weird Al Song "Dare to Be Stupid!" along with neon. Lots and lots of neon.
You also have endless marketing potential. Every robot is joining the fray and every planet hold something else that transforms into something. I can give the movie that Cybertron is full of transforming robots, but every other freaking planet!
And for some weird reason, the entire movie reminded me too much of anime.* At the risk of being flamed off the blog-o-sphere, I don't like anime. At all. I used to. Oh boy. I used to. There was there a time (ages 13-18) where I was a mindless "otaku" but, now I say forget anime. I can get all nostalgic about Robotech and old school Gundam and still have a weak spot for Digimon** , but most of it (Especially the ones kids are all crazy about now. I am looking at you Naruto! Fucking ninjas.) makes a bit queasy. Before this develops into a a seperate post, my big issue with anime is that there are so many people here in the US that assume because it is anime it must be good. No, not good, but AMAZING! If art exists everywhere, then so does crappy art. Including anime.
Peace!
* I can only guess here, but shows like Gundam and Robotech might have influenced the Japanese origins of Transformers. And all those animation studios, where they do the tedious work, are overseas in Asia. Oh, and the movie had a brief scence that reminded me too much of a "tentacle scene." Google that term at your own risk.
** It is superior to Pokemon.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Summer Movie
I always resist the urge to talk about my movie going experiences. Well, except "The movies I should have already seen, but that's different! There are about one jillion other blogs that do that and an equal amount that seamlessly mix their regular content with these "out of context" posts. While I resist, sometimes I just have to wax methodically about some movie. And that movie is...
TRANSFORMERS!!!!
Yes, that's me as a cartoony Optimus Prime. No, I didn't make it. My lovely gf Amanda made it as she is too amazed by this movie. That is her as Bumblebee. We are about to destroy Wal-Mart because it is the closest thing one can get to Unicron.
Yes, that's me as a cartoony Optimus Prime. No, I didn't make it. My lovely gf Amanda made it as she is too amazed by this movie. That is her as Bumblebee. We are about to destroy Wal-Mart because it is the closest thing one can get to Unicron.
I must admit that I was never really a part of the Transformers band wagon. Like a lot of those 80's cartoon shows*, I was just a baby when they were in their first run. I saw the original cartoons as re-runs and only saw fresh versions during the subsequent 1990's~2000's spin-offs. I watched the hell out of Transformers: Beast Wars as a a kid in the mid 90's. And I really wasn't into the toys either. I was much more of a GI Joe fanboy. I do remember having one Transformers action figure that I won at some carnival at my sister's high school. It turned into a fire truck, which for a little boy, epitomized awesome.
I even made fun of the live action movie when I first saw the teaser trailer last year. It looked so dumb, built purely on nostalgia for something that never really had a message except big bucks. But, as usual, I was wrong.
First, the movie was the most fun I have had at the movies in a long ass time. As a summer blockbuster it had to appeal to the lowest common denominator and show some broad appeal, but there was a real sense of wonder. As a Star Wars fanboy, I hear plenty about people having the same sense of wonder at the release of the original movie back in 1977. I am not comparing Transformers to Star Wars, but I know understand what the feeling was and is. Amanda and I have seen the damn thing three times. THREE TIMES! Now we look for Transformers everywhere. The weekend after we saw it the first time, we happened to find ourselves in Trumansburg, NY driving past the Grassroots Music Festival. And there we saw a Pontiac Solstice**. As soon as we saw it, we both said, "Hey, look! It's Jazz!"
Shia LaBeouf, who played the protagonist Sam Witwicky is my new hero. He is a beleivable loser teenager and, well, if you have ever read this blog, I relate to that. And while it had some of the usual Michael Bay holes (What the hell happened to Barricade!?), it was wonderfully slick. The movie had the full support of the military, which made sense because it made me want to sign up! Those guys had all the coolest military toys like dune buggies, gunships, and vertical take-off aircraft. No desk jockeys, defense contractors, or red tape here. Just ass kicking. I was half expecting Tyrese Gibson to scream out "FUCK YEAH" whenever an air strike happened. All the hardware made it seem like a Tom Clancy novel, just with none of the subterfuge and that pesky Jack Ryan. And no soldier dies. Except the Puerto Rican one, of course.
And thanks to all the slick advertising, now I want the damn 2009 Camaro featured in the movie. I understand the idea of the military-entertainmnet-industrial complex, but I am not made of stone, damn it!
Peace!
*If any show was 80's it had to be Transformers. An entire show and mythology based exclusively on toys. Big money, no whammy!
**I don;t know why a Pontiac Solstice happened to be at Grassroots. When I think hippie, zydeco music fests, I think sports cars.
I even made fun of the live action movie when I first saw the teaser trailer last year. It looked so dumb, built purely on nostalgia for something that never really had a message except big bucks. But, as usual, I was wrong.
First, the movie was the most fun I have had at the movies in a long ass time. As a summer blockbuster it had to appeal to the lowest common denominator and show some broad appeal, but there was a real sense of wonder. As a Star Wars fanboy, I hear plenty about people having the same sense of wonder at the release of the original movie back in 1977. I am not comparing Transformers to Star Wars, but I know understand what the feeling was and is. Amanda and I have seen the damn thing three times. THREE TIMES! Now we look for Transformers everywhere. The weekend after we saw it the first time, we happened to find ourselves in Trumansburg, NY driving past the Grassroots Music Festival. And there we saw a Pontiac Solstice**. As soon as we saw it, we both said, "Hey, look! It's Jazz!"
Shia LaBeouf, who played the protagonist Sam Witwicky is my new hero. He is a beleivable loser teenager and, well, if you have ever read this blog, I relate to that. And while it had some of the usual Michael Bay holes (What the hell happened to Barricade!?), it was wonderfully slick. The movie had the full support of the military, which made sense because it made me want to sign up! Those guys had all the coolest military toys like dune buggies, gunships, and vertical take-off aircraft. No desk jockeys, defense contractors, or red tape here. Just ass kicking. I was half expecting Tyrese Gibson to scream out "FUCK YEAH" whenever an air strike happened. All the hardware made it seem like a Tom Clancy novel, just with none of the subterfuge and that pesky Jack Ryan. And no soldier dies. Except the Puerto Rican one, of course.
And thanks to all the slick advertising, now I want the damn 2009 Camaro featured in the movie. I understand the idea of the military-entertainmnet-industrial complex, but I am not made of stone, damn it!
Peace!
*If any show was 80's it had to be Transformers. An entire show and mythology based exclusively on toys. Big money, no whammy!
**I don;t know why a Pontiac Solstice happened to be at Grassroots. When I think hippie, zydeco music fests, I think sports cars.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Getting Ready for the FLEFF
The Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival (FLEFF) is almost here and I am pretty damn excited! I have enjoyed seeing the FLEFF evolve throughout my six something years in CNY. I remember back in freshmen year of college, it was called the Cornell Environmental Film Festival and had showings all over the place. Funny to note that as the name of the festival has gotten broader, that the actual showing locations have gotten smaller. What is now the Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival only has showings at Ithaca College and Ithaca's local art house theaters Cinemapolis* and Fall Creek. I really don't mind too much. Every year I grab the nice glossy flier with all the movies and begin to meticulously plan out which ones I can see. I always plan to see about twenty of them, but usually make due with just three or four.
I appreciate the FLEFF because it uses a very broad use of the word environment. I understand this meaning is often lost on some. Last year, while I was still at IC, Amanda and I had an unfortunate encounter with one of Ithaca's renowned local activists. She was irate that the film festival "wasn't" environmental enough with films about globalization and the war on Iraq lining the schedule. She apparently took us as the festival planners and freaked out before storming away. **
I understand the word "environmental" conjures up images of trees and nature. However, the environment is the entire living system and even something as abstract (abstract in that you can't touch it) as globalization is environmental. Everything we do relates back to the land. And while some might feel overwhelmed that something like the fresh flowers on their desk could mean human exploitation and environmental degradation (most 1-800 flowers are grown in Venezuela, Ecuador, etc by poor workers with no protection from the pesticides applied), I find it empowering. No, I am not a freak. Well, not that kind of freak. I don't feel exhilarated at people having their fingers ripped by rose thorns. What I mean is that it is empowering to know the effects everyday decisions have on the world at large and what one can do about it! It is cheesy to say, but knowledge is power. Just being cognizant of these issues is the first step towards small contributions.
I appreciate how the festival organizers bring up discussions about natural ecology and human sustainability without covering the celluloid in streak of green. Don't get me wrong; I think next year they should spool all episodes of Captain Planet together and show them for 24 hours non-stop as a piece on early environmental thought in young Generation Y'ers. Nothing wrong with an outwardly environmental film, but those don't necessarily have to be nature documentaries.
I am particularly excited for films like Black Gold, Blowing Up Paradise, The Disappearing of Tuvalus: Trouble in Paradise, The Fittest Survive, The Language of Wine, Liberia: A Fragile Piece, and Jonestown: The Life and Death of the People's Temple. I'll be lucky to even see maybe two of those, but maybe you can check out some too!? Here is the schedule.
Peace!
* Can anyone pronounce this for me? Cinemapolis? I understand it should be fairly simple, but it throws me for a loop every time.
"Hey, Garik, where did you see that movie you can't stop talking about?"
"Oh, you know, that place downtown. Cine..aa..ma..lis...*head explodes*"
** If you live in Ithaca then you should now who I am talking about. Yeah, don't think too hard because it is the first person that comes to mind. In her defense, I do have one grievance with the FLEFF. I understand you can't show all the films in the Park Auditorium or Ford Hall (you know, the place where people actually see performances), but do you really need to schedule a film in Williams 224 during the 9:25 TR session of "Academic Writing 1?" Seriously, some of the classrooms at IC are glamorized broom closets. I saw one movie last year in a tiny and slanted room deep in the bowels of the absolute labyrinth that is Smiddy Hall! I think HR Giger and MC Escher designed that building. And CNS 115? Man, everyone's been in there!
I appreciate the FLEFF because it uses a very broad use of the word environment. I understand this meaning is often lost on some. Last year, while I was still at IC, Amanda and I had an unfortunate encounter with one of Ithaca's renowned local activists. She was irate that the film festival "wasn't" environmental enough with films about globalization and the war on Iraq lining the schedule. She apparently took us as the festival planners and freaked out before storming away. **
I understand the word "environmental" conjures up images of trees and nature. However, the environment is the entire living system and even something as abstract (abstract in that you can't touch it) as globalization is environmental. Everything we do relates back to the land. And while some might feel overwhelmed that something like the fresh flowers on their desk could mean human exploitation and environmental degradation (most 1-800 flowers are grown in Venezuela, Ecuador, etc by poor workers with no protection from the pesticides applied), I find it empowering. No, I am not a freak. Well, not that kind of freak. I don't feel exhilarated at people having their fingers ripped by rose thorns. What I mean is that it is empowering to know the effects everyday decisions have on the world at large and what one can do about it! It is cheesy to say, but knowledge is power. Just being cognizant of these issues is the first step towards small contributions.
I appreciate how the festival organizers bring up discussions about natural ecology and human sustainability without covering the celluloid in streak of green. Don't get me wrong; I think next year they should spool all episodes of Captain Planet together and show them for 24 hours non-stop as a piece on early environmental thought in young Generation Y'ers. Nothing wrong with an outwardly environmental film, but those don't necessarily have to be nature documentaries.
I am particularly excited for films like Black Gold, Blowing Up Paradise, The Disappearing of Tuvalus: Trouble in Paradise, The Fittest Survive, The Language of Wine, Liberia: A Fragile Piece, and Jonestown: The Life and Death of the People's Temple. I'll be lucky to even see maybe two of those, but maybe you can check out some too!? Here is the schedule.
Peace!
* Can anyone pronounce this for me? Cinemapolis? I understand it should be fairly simple, but it throws me for a loop every time.
"Hey, Garik, where did you see that movie you can't stop talking about?"
"Oh, you know, that place downtown. Cine..aa..ma..lis...*head explodes*"
** If you live in Ithaca then you should now who I am talking about. Yeah, don't think too hard because it is the first person that comes to mind. In her defense, I do have one grievance with the FLEFF. I understand you can't show all the films in the Park Auditorium or Ford Hall (you know, the place where people actually see performances), but do you really need to schedule a film in Williams 224 during the 9:25 TR session of "Academic Writing 1?" Seriously, some of the classrooms at IC are glamorized broom closets. I saw one movie last year in a tiny and slanted room deep in the bowels of the absolute labyrinth that is Smiddy Hall! I think HR Giger and MC Escher designed that building. And CNS 115? Man, everyone's been in there!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Movies I Felt Obliged to See #1
YES! I promised many, many, many weeks ago that I would give Lords of Dogtown the Fear of the Blank Page treatment. I have finally watched the movie and present it to you now in....
Movies I Felt Obliged to See #1
LORDS OF DOGTOWN
LORDS OF DOGTOWN
First, I got this movie as part of the PSP entertainment pack my lovely gf Amanda gave me. This is why I felt obliged to see it, because it came with the PSP. I must say that while the audio on the PSP for games is great, the audio for movies seems lackluster and tiny. I had the thing at full blast and still could barely make out the dialogue. Still, the PSP kicks ass.
I must also say that I am not a skater. I can't even skate, but my feelings for this movie aren't influenced by my inability to land some serious Tony Hawk shiz-nit. (Also, most of my skater knowledge comes from episodes of the NickToon, Rocket Power, so don't expect anything too incisive hear. My skate knowledge is stuck in 1987.)
You don't need to be a true sports fan to appreciate a sports movie. There is human drama in sports and great sports movies do that. Think of Rocky. There is little human drama in this movie where any story gets ripped apart by the insertion of a skate scene. These scenes, by the way, are great looking, but don't really make up for the difference that I just don't care. That is a shame too since the story talks about how these punk kids revolutionized a sport. I don't need a skateboarding background to understand how skating looks like today is much different from the skating of 30 years ago.
In reading up on the film, I found out this is a fictionalized version of a documentary produced by one of the legendary skaters himself called Dogtown and Z-Boys. I hear that movie is much better and explains the actual story of the skaters. By being a movie first, Lords of Dogtown suffered. Makes sense. If you want to learn about surfing then why watch Blue Crush when you could watch Step Into Liquid.
Overall, Lords of Dogtown always seems overshadowed by its non-fiction counterpart and being that I haven't even seen the latter, it was pretty unexciting. And so is this post. But I got that monkey off my back! Peace!
I must also say that I am not a skater. I can't even skate, but my feelings for this movie aren't influenced by my inability to land some serious Tony Hawk shiz-nit. (Also, most of my skater knowledge comes from episodes of the NickToon, Rocket Power, so don't expect anything too incisive hear. My skate knowledge is stuck in 1987.)
You don't need to be a true sports fan to appreciate a sports movie. There is human drama in sports and great sports movies do that. Think of Rocky. There is little human drama in this movie where any story gets ripped apart by the insertion of a skate scene. These scenes, by the way, are great looking, but don't really make up for the difference that I just don't care. That is a shame too since the story talks about how these punk kids revolutionized a sport. I don't need a skateboarding background to understand how skating looks like today is much different from the skating of 30 years ago.
In reading up on the film, I found out this is a fictionalized version of a documentary produced by one of the legendary skaters himself called Dogtown and Z-Boys. I hear that movie is much better and explains the actual story of the skaters. By being a movie first, Lords of Dogtown suffered. Makes sense. If you want to learn about surfing then why watch Blue Crush when you could watch Step Into Liquid.
Overall, Lords of Dogtown always seems overshadowed by its non-fiction counterpart and being that I haven't even seen the latter, it was pretty unexciting. And so is this post. But I got that monkey off my back! Peace!
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Movies I Should Have Already Seen Vol 3. Issue 1
I PROMISE that this will be the last time I bring back this column from the bowels of deletion. Get those collector's guides ready because it all starts here...again.
However, before I get to the reboot, here is a quick summary of the previous Movies I Should Have Already seen that were lost to the digital abyss.
The Silence of the Lambs
30-second recap: Jodie Foster is not hot. Stop trying to make her hot damnit! Why are there so many sheriff's deputies in West Virginia? And what was the big deal with the moth? An excuse to get the entomologists fawning over Jodie Foster who is NOT HOT!!
Saving Private Ryan
30-second recap: Has Nathan Filion in it! SHINY!
Final Destination
30-second recap: I learned that you don't fuck with death. He's a "mac-daddy."
The Godfather
30-second recap: Yes, I know I should have seen it a while ago. Sorry. Eh, what can I say? It's The Godfather! Damn Leslie Neilsen for ruining it for me with his wacky antics.
Now, with that behind us, I present....
The Descent
Alright, this movie, isn't that old. However, much like the Saw franchise it is well-hyped as the future of horror. The difference between the two is that unlike the Saw franchise The Descent is truly scary. You need to understand that I am not a very touch hombre. I startle really easy so even the screeching cats and albino boys of your average J-horror make me scrambling up the walls. But those are just startles. The Descent scares. Remember how you never wanted to go back into the bathtub after seeing Jaws? The Descent does that same thing, but for caves, which you should really stay away from in the first place unless you are A) A spelunker B) Accompanied by a spelunker or C) Batman. Just saying.
I wish I could post screenshots as the film relies on claustrophobia to build up the tension. The landscapes of the Appalachians also increase the deadly foreshadowing. The film actually slams the foreshadowing right against your face. A shot of the cabin in the night with two torches at each end of the porch screams The Amytiville Horror? The misty woodlands do what the Blair Witch Project wanted to do and much like Alien it solves the problem of why the protagonists don't just leave the damn monster infested/cursed/haunted place by sticking them in a cave.
The movie gets pretty grisly and with the main characters being all female I have seen some folks throw around the term "mysoginistic." I don't think the movie is anti-women as none of the girls are stereotypes. They are all athletic women who know what they are doing, just like any group of friends that shares a common hobby. Get me and four other comic book guys together and you won't have a tough guy, crazy guy, loner, hero's best friend, and gentel guy. That's a Gundam team. Instead you would just get five guys who, if quipping about the latest issue of Civil War Frontline 10 was a martial art, could cut a path out of any cave!
I will try to keep the spoilers light. I think the movie relied a bit too much on startle scenes at times. It had use going from the moment they first went down those narrow crevices that link the caverns. It had use when that girl had to cross the chasm with nothing but upper-body strentgh and some caribiners. The monster were neat, but lost everything once we saw them. They were just slimy orcs rejected from The Lord of the Rings movies.
I am not a horror-movie buff or expert, but I believe horror movies should do one of two things at the end:
1) They should make you truly happy. The survivors should have won your heart and come out of the thing alive because they kick ass. They deserved to live. We get a happy ending because sometimes, when we have enough heart and strength, we can get those happy endings. I am looking at you Alien and Jaws. You too Cube! But just Cube! None of those sequels!
2) It should enrage you. You should get out of the seat and say, "No! Fuck! Not like this!" Then the movie needs to grab the guys jetpack and ram itself kamikaze style into the ending while screaming, "LIKE THIS!"
If you got that reference then I hope you smiled or screamed out a "BENDIS!!!!" that would make Dave Campbell proud. If you didn't get it then I promise not to nerd it up anymore.
Anyway...horror movies can also try to enrage you and betray what you expected. Seen Carrie? Yeah like that! Seen Final Destination? I have! And, no, it's not like that.
The Descent gives you both. I will try to make this as spoiler free as possible but you have been warned!
The Descent gives you two beautiful moments of salvation that just melt your heart while waiting to scream "HOORAY!". Weird to say that the most uplifting scene I have seen in a while has come from a horror movie where there is a fight in a pool of blood, but, there, I said it. Then it takes that away from you and turns the thumbscrews until the guy that made it is laughing at you! Laughing hard! Never have I been so enraged at the ending of a fictional movie.
Finally, The Descent is good because it must have looked so stupid on paper. Six hot British girls go spelunking in the hills of West Virginia where they fight blind, albino slime creatures? It worked. Go figure.
Peace!
However, before I get to the reboot, here is a quick summary of the previous Movies I Should Have Already seen that were lost to the digital abyss.
The Silence of the Lambs30-second recap: Jodie Foster is not hot. Stop trying to make her hot damnit! Why are there so many sheriff's deputies in West Virginia? And what was the big deal with the moth? An excuse to get the entomologists fawning over Jodie Foster who is NOT HOT!!
Saving Private Ryan30-second recap: Has Nathan Filion in it! SHINY!
Final Destination
30-second recap: I learned that you don't fuck with death. He's a "mac-daddy."
The Godfather
30-second recap: Yes, I know I should have seen it a while ago. Sorry. Eh, what can I say? It's The Godfather! Damn Leslie Neilsen for ruining it for me with his wacky antics.
I still 
think Goodfellas was much better.
think Goodfellas was much better.Donnie Darko
30-second recap: Expected a mind fuck, but instead got my mind groped by the highschool lacrosse team. Frank the Rabbit is insanely creepy. The Chucky of the current generation. Always nice to see Jena Malone, Jake Gyllenhall, and Patrick Swayze...as a pedophile.
30-second recap: Expected a mind fuck, but instead got my mind groped by the highschool lacrosse team. Frank the Rabbit is insanely creepy. The Chucky of the current generation. Always nice to see Jena Malone, Jake Gyllenhall, and Patrick Swayze...as a pedophile.
Now, with that behind us, I present....
MOVIES I SHOULD HAVE ALREADY SEEN! (THE FINAL RE-LAUNCH!)
The Descent
I wish I could post screenshots as the film relies on claustrophobia to build up the tension. The landscapes of the Appalachians also increase the deadly foreshadowing. The film actually slams the foreshadowing right against your face. A shot of the cabin in the night with two torches at each end of the porch screams The Amytiville Horror? The misty woodlands do what the Blair Witch Project wanted to do and much like Alien it solves the problem of why the protagonists don't just leave the damn monster infested/cursed/haunted place by sticking them in a cave.
The movie gets pretty grisly and with the main characters being all female I have seen some folks throw around the term "mysoginistic." I don't think the movie is anti-women as none of the girls are stereotypes. They are all athletic women who know what they are doing, just like any group of friends that shares a common hobby. Get me and four other comic book guys together and you won't have a tough guy, crazy guy, loner, hero's best friend, and gentel guy. That's a Gundam team. Instead you would just get five guys who, if quipping about the latest issue of Civil War Frontline 10 was a martial art, could cut a path out of any cave!
I will try to keep the spoilers light. I think the movie relied a bit too much on startle scenes at times. It had use going from the moment they first went down those narrow crevices that link the caverns. It had use when that girl had to cross the chasm with nothing but upper-body strentgh and some caribiners. The monster were neat, but lost everything once we saw them. They were just slimy orcs rejected from The Lord of the Rings movies.
I am not a horror-movie buff or expert, but I believe horror movies should do one of two things at the end:
1) They should make you truly happy. The survivors should have won your heart and come out of the thing alive because they kick ass. They deserved to live. We get a happy ending because sometimes, when we have enough heart and strength, we can get those happy endings. I am looking at you Alien and Jaws. You too Cube! But just Cube! None of those sequels!
or
2) It should enrage you. You should get out of the seat and say, "No! Fuck! Not like this!" Then the movie needs to grab the guys jetpack and ram itself kamikaze style into the ending while screaming, "LIKE THIS!"
If you got that reference then I hope you smiled or screamed out a "BENDIS!!!!" that would make Dave Campbell proud. If you didn't get it then I promise not to nerd it up anymore.
Anyway...horror movies can also try to enrage you and betray what you expected. Seen Carrie? Yeah like that! Seen Final Destination? I have! And, no, it's not like that.
The Descent gives you both. I will try to make this as spoiler free as possible but you have been warned!
***SPOLIERS LIE AHEAD***
The Descent gives you two beautiful moments of salvation that just melt your heart while waiting to scream "HOORAY!". Weird to say that the most uplifting scene I have seen in a while has come from a horror movie where there is a fight in a pool of blood, but, there, I said it. Then it takes that away from you and turns the thumbscrews until the guy that made it is laughing at you! Laughing hard! Never have I been so enraged at the ending of a fictional movie.
Finally, The Descent is good because it must have looked so stupid on paper. Six hot British girls go spelunking in the hills of West Virginia where they fight blind, albino slime creatures? It worked. Go figure.
Peace!
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