Post XMas Video Game Wrangle

Our household was blessed with many a video game this holiday season. My kids were excited but are more prone to watching than playing. I remember being six and having better/control interest but sure that nostalgia affects this. And, instead of a parent either jumping in or searching for a YouTube tutorial I just had Mami sipping on her wine. "These kids always scream when that Mario dies. I hope they scream so loud when I die!"

So here is a round up of the games we got

Far Cry Primal

Ok, I bought this for myself because it was on sale on Xbox and I love these games albeit they are really phoning it in what with copying them over and over. And I know Primal is "old" because 5 and New Dawn have come out but its a Far Cry game so its pretty much just the same as all the others. And, yes, even with having played umpteen other iterations of this game I dig it. Note that it has a caveman/pre-historic theme to it so you have to smash guys with your club and spears! And it is very satisfying to get a bead on someone with a spear and hear the swooshing ka-chunk as it nails them.

Not my video. Credit to Vincent Lauzon on YouTube

 You can't buy anything so there is some more verisimilitude to the hunting and gathering* to make better gear as opposed to in the other games. Here you really do need to kill a bunch of rhinos to make the ultimate spear belt as opposed to say in 4 where maybe you could just pick it up from the hundreds of dead guards. 

Note that Ubisoft made it so everyone speaks in...whatever it is they are speaking. Cave person talk. Wenja in the lore of the game but considering no one heard early humans talk real cave people could have been singing Jimmy Eat World. 

Oh, you can tame animals to work for you. Which is very easy (Feed them meat and then press one button) but is quite fun. Your black panther can run down enemies and you can command a saber tooth tiger. Oh and no grenades but they do have bee bombs! BEE BOMBS! Which I think was lost to time along with the recipe of Greek Fire but its fun to see guys get all swallowed up by your angry bees.

The Outer Worlds

Ok, so this game is newish. And I love this kind of retro pop-future sci-fi. Spacer's Choice brand Mock Apple juice! Automechanicals. Freelances facing down company towns and corporate armies. It all feels very far flung yet something still anachronistic compared to our current level of wonder. I get some serious Fallout vibes from this which makes sense since it was apparently made by a former team from there. 

And while I have not finished the game does feel small and short. Almost as if they weren't 100% ready or confident in it. I do hope we get some additional DLC to expand this world because it deserves it. 

I love that the ship is called The Unreliable. 

Lets Go Pikachu

My wife: Lets get the kids a Switch for Xmas

Me: Ok.

Also, me: YES! YES! YES! I can play Pokemon on it!

My wife: I am not getting Pokemon Sword and Shield. It is 60 dollars and I am not sure if he (the son) is ready for it. I know YOU want it but you already got games.

Me: That's fine but we can get the older Pokemon for it used! Lets go Pikachu!

Wife: Ok, but no more than like 35 dollars

Me: Sure

Also me: Ok, so I paid 54 dollars for it.

Wife: WHAT!?

Me: But it is going to be awesome. Here we go! ***Puts game in***

Me: WHY CAN'T YOU BATTLE WILD POKEMON IN THIS GAME!?

Wife: This game is boring and I like Pokemon Go. Its like Pokemon Go

Me: GOD DAMN IT!

Wife: You didn't read the reviews. Lots of other nerds are mad about that. They even say right here "Its like Pokemon Go"

Me: WHAT DID THEY DO TO POKEMON!?

Kids: Oh, look daddy an Oddish! Catch it!

Afterwards my wife points out that I don't play the Pokemon game anymore....

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate

Again its for my kids (which they played this one. The 4 year old asked for it by name!) but even encouraging them to button mash renders no effect. So it is has become a solo player game for me which is fine because this version of Smash has a ton of....lore. A giant narrative spanning all the Nintendo IPs in a cartoon fighting game. But I thirst for playing against people and....getting wrecked because wow are people online totals sharks with this game. At least no one can beat Daddy at it!

I dig the Wifi Fit Trainer character as it triggers memories of finding my breath

Mario Kart 8

At one point I thought my kids were video game prodigies as they were doing OK at this. Not winning but like 8th-7th place and making turns. My kids can't even wipe themselves after pooping!

Then I realized there are a ton of "new player" features baked into the game including an auto drive, short falls off the course and even some auto turning. So my kids weren't really playing as more they were moving the controllers wildly around. Unfortunately, this is not the Wii guys and the machine doesn't see you move. 

Its Mario Kart so its fun with a big group of people. 200 cc is freaking hard and the only brutal part of this game. Unlike OG Mario Kart which was always brutal.

My wife is better than me at this game and her favorite character is Rosalina.

Me: Why do you like Rosalina so much?

My wife: I don't know. She is just...

Me: Its ok. You can admit to me that its because she's hot. She is.

My wife: ....maybe

Shut up and drive.

One last word on the Switch...I usually don't dig the gimmicks Nintendo cooks up (Wii sensor bar, the "3D" on the 3DS, and I played an OG Virtual Boy!) but I do love how the Switch seamlessly goes from a TV console to then a robust handheld. Wow, is that a lot of value. Now, If i could just figure out which controller is the main one.

* Get it?! Because cave people!