This is a very fifth grade movie. And not just because that is when I watched the hell out of it to the point that I am sure the ribbon on the tape burnt out. I got chicken pox in fifth grade (After tackling Adrian Richner in what was supposed to be two hand touch football. He had just come back from having it* No one expect me to tag him much less tackle but yeah get wrecked.) and watched this on repeat. It is also a fifth grade movie because I think only fifth grade boys will enjoy it. Well and those guys who enjoy Call of Duty just a bit too much
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| Note those weapons be firing and they have the look of someone just telling them their delivery pizza is running late |
Does it hold up?
Well, first this is a toughie to find. A lesson in save those DVDs. Not that I ever had one but if I did it would have been easy. You can only buy from Amazon and you can get it from Starz (Which is still a thing I guess) but I am leery of those 7 day free trials. I am going to fucking forget or, worst, I will say fuck it and keep it and never watch it while Mr. Starz counts his money. But I found it on...Vudu? Alright, we did Starz. Remind me in 7 days to cancel that , OK? Thanks!
It stars Chuck Norris during his film making heyday albeit he lives on in memes. And fitness commercials. And, you know, being alive. Every time I hear his name I can only hear it in the Nostalgia Critic style with an explosion in the background. "Ahhhh Chuck AAHHH NORRIS"
Its also Lee Marvin's final film before he passed. Not that I have seen much of Marvin's filmography but he was one of those "guys" in all those war movies they show on Memorial Day. A "Dad's" kind of actor.
The movie begins with a literal explosion. A helicopter blows up and bunch of soldiers scurry away to awaiting escape planes. Chuck Norris (who is called McCoy, because of course) runs but then realizes there is a man still trapped on the burning chopper. Of course he defies Lee Marvin's orders and gets him. He then begrudges how the top brass don't get it and we get some exposition saying how their mission failed. This, like the movie, is based on real events referring to the Tehran hostage crisis and a failed US mission to save the hostages. The movie is then based on hijackings in the 70s and 80s. Terrorism felt much quainter back then and the eeevill guys even say they are hijacking to stop the anti-socialist Americans and Zionists. Remember the Cold War?
The movie then clips along in a fast yet ham handed way jumping to 1985. A plane is taking off and we are loading up our cast of hostages and eeeeevil guys. I love the scene where the terrorists pull their guns out from their coat pockets and a little kid sees them "Oh shit, dad! Wake up" Its played for empathy but it is so goofy like he just spilled some Gatorade on dad's briefcase.
Then we move fast as phones calls expose what is going on. This is the plane we need the embassy. This is the embassy we need the State Department. Then the State Department needs the Pentagon! We got an emergency flash for THE PRESIDENT! Again, this is meant to be build excitement but its got the feel of a Power Point slide. We even get a shot of McCoy, now in retirement at his ranch, shaking his head as he sees this on TV.
Then the movie...kind of gets boring. Once more, I think they play this for tension but the stakes don't feel earned. Its the whole situation played out in real time. Everything is TOLD and then showed with the same tension of an Unsolved Mysteries re-enactment.
There is no nuance here which, jokes on me its a Chuck Norris action movie, but we got the eeevil terrorists asking the flight attendant to pick out all the Jewish names from the passports. Then she screams "I can't do it. Can't you see I'm German? Don't you remember the Nazis!" Some major cringe. They want a Schindler's List moments but they get fucking The Delta Force. There is a very long scene where the terrorists grab all the people they think are Jewish and someone literally screams "its like the Holocaust again!" and that would have been a powerful allegory if you know there was some nuance or development. For a vehicle that is all about the explosions they linger on these awkward scenes for way too long. That said there is one nice scene where the little girls gives her dad her doll to keep him safe as the terrorists abscond him to first class cabin.
"You are facing disaster if you try to land!" Screams an air control tower at the plane. No shit. That is implied!
Really this is a series of tropes you have seen in other movies. They even shoot a hostage from the door of the moving plane and they mug at the hero which I thought only existed in Face/Off But here is Delta Force doing it years before
Oh the movie has a nice ditty theme song that sounds like Miami Vice music.
Why did I like this movie?!?!?!
Oh yeah the big action piece at the end. The movie plods to the final piece where after much flim flammery the terrorists have gotten to their evil lair.
And this spoke to the 5th grade tendencies as we got dune buggies and dirt bikes zipping around shooting rockets. I am pretty sure the Army does not have rocket shooting dirt bikes but they should! Then its kind of a chase movie as the terrorists now have a whole army and Delta Force is trying to run back onto the plane to escape.
In the seminal scene Chuck Norris comes up behind two evil jeeps shooting at the plane. He mows one down with his dirk bike machine gun. Then he wheelies up past them and kills the last one with a TAIL PIPE ROCKET LAUNCHER!
This is a two hour movie. A SLOW two hour movie and I loved it for about 10 minutes of action. I was an idiot.
It stars Chuck Norris during his film making heyday albeit he lives on in memes. And fitness commercials. And, you know, being alive. Every time I hear his name I can only hear it in the Nostalgia Critic style with an explosion in the background. "Ahhhh Chuck AAHHH NORRIS"
 |
| Its an older meme, but it checks out |
The movie begins with a literal explosion. A helicopter blows up and bunch of soldiers scurry away to awaiting escape planes. Chuck Norris (who is called McCoy, because of course) runs but then realizes there is a man still trapped on the burning chopper. Of course he defies Lee Marvin's orders and gets him. He then begrudges how the top brass don't get it and we get some exposition saying how their mission failed. This, like the movie, is based on real events referring to the Tehran hostage crisis and a failed US mission to save the hostages. The movie is then based on hijackings in the 70s and 80s. Terrorism felt much quainter back then and the eeevill guys even say they are hijacking to stop the anti-socialist Americans and Zionists. Remember the Cold War?
The movie then clips along in a fast yet ham handed way jumping to 1985. A plane is taking off and we are loading up our cast of hostages and eeeeevil guys. I love the scene where the terrorists pull their guns out from their coat pockets and a little kid sees them "Oh shit, dad! Wake up" Its played for empathy but it is so goofy like he just spilled some Gatorade on dad's briefcase.
Then we move fast as phones calls expose what is going on. This is the plane we need the embassy. This is the embassy we need the State Department. Then the State Department needs the Pentagon! We got an emergency flash for THE PRESIDENT! Again, this is meant to be build excitement but its got the feel of a Power Point slide. We even get a shot of McCoy, now in retirement at his ranch, shaking his head as he sees this on TV.
Then the movie...kind of gets boring. Once more, I think they play this for tension but the stakes don't feel earned. Its the whole situation played out in real time. Everything is TOLD and then showed with the same tension of an Unsolved Mysteries re-enactment.
There is no nuance here which, jokes on me its a Chuck Norris action movie, but we got the eeevil terrorists asking the flight attendant to pick out all the Jewish names from the passports. Then she screams "I can't do it. Can't you see I'm German? Don't you remember the Nazis!" Some major cringe. They want a Schindler's List moments but they get fucking The Delta Force. There is a very long scene where the terrorists grab all the people they think are Jewish and someone literally screams "its like the Holocaust again!" and that would have been a powerful allegory if you know there was some nuance or development. For a vehicle that is all about the explosions they linger on these awkward scenes for way too long. That said there is one nice scene where the little girls gives her dad her doll to keep him safe as the terrorists abscond him to first class cabin.
"You are facing disaster if you try to land!" Screams an air control tower at the plane. No shit. That is implied!
Really this is a series of tropes you have seen in other movies. They even shoot a hostage from the door of the moving plane and they mug at the hero which I thought only existed in Face/Off But here is Delta Force doing it years before
Oh the movie has a nice ditty theme song that sounds like Miami Vice music.
Why did I like this movie?!?!?!
Oh yeah the big action piece at the end. The movie plods to the final piece where after much flim flammery the terrorists have gotten to their evil lair.
And this spoke to the 5th grade tendencies as we got dune buggies and dirt bikes zipping around shooting rockets. I am pretty sure the Army does not have rocket shooting dirt bikes but they should! Then its kind of a chase movie as the terrorists now have a whole army and Delta Force is trying to run back onto the plane to escape.
In the seminal scene Chuck Norris comes up behind two evil jeeps shooting at the plane. He mows one down with his dirk bike machine gun. Then he wheelies up past them and kills the last one with a TAIL PIPE ROCKET LAUNCHER!
This is a two hour movie. A SLOW two hour movie and I loved it for about 10 minutes of action. I was an idiot.
*I often joke that i peaked when I made an unassisted triple play in elementary school kick ball gym class. And yeah its a bit tongue in cheek but it was also pretty fucking cool. Especially for a fat and slow kid like me. That tackle was another one. I also saw a pair of boobs once. Not in a magazine mind you and found 50 dollars on the sidewalk once. Those were all peak times.
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