Resolutions

As they say around my house..."At least 2019 won't be written on my gravestone."

And because it is that time of the year I am putting down in writing my 2020 resolutions. That way all you porn bots can keep me accountable*


1) Eat Less Sugar

If you read this blog then you know I love bread. Like my favorite snack is a "Taco De Sal" which is a tortilla pan fried with butter and salt. Mind you that made me a professional fat kid and pre-diabetic so back in the late summer my doctor told me to cut that out. And bread isn't too hard to cut out but I love candy. Mami was not one of those "we have dessert" type people** so once I could make/pay for my own meals you bet we are going to have dessert. But considering you know it is awful for me I am going to need all the willpower.

2) Drink More Water

So when I want to eat candy I am going to slam my fist in a wal....err...I mean I am going to drink water.

3) Play More Commander!

Commander (aka EDH) is a Magic format where you have a 100 card deck lead by a legendary creature type (Your commander) and then 99 other singular cards. It is an incredibly popular paper format that emphasized multiplayer. If you are not a nerd then its just a good way to scream at people in a basement using pieces of cardboard wrapped in plastic. But Commander is FREE at the local  game store and it fires every weekend (as opposed to draft) so as long as the wife let me dissapear for 3-4 hours on Saturday then we are all good.

That't it! And hopefully these resolutions (Well except for number 3) will help me cheat death a bit longer and maybe keep losing some weight and getting those gains*** so favorite teachers notice me! And not just because they overheard me talking to myself about how this is all bullshit or spilled coffee on my shirt.

*Instead of asking for my money to meet hot single moms in my area. I know the kind of people who live in my neighborhood and only 1 of those 3 is true.

**Mind you PR desserts aren't so great. Candied papaya and some white cheese? Ehh, not so much

***There are no gains. I approach all the weights at the gym as if they are going to buck up and punch me right in the dick.