Ikoria Early Hot Takes

A brief stop at attempts to sound poetic for a brief old man rant about the upcoming MTG set: Ikoria: Lair of Behemoths

Look so I lived through Scourge where we were told that it was going to be the big crazy set with monsters and that fizzled like Y2K. Then the company delivered with big old sets like Rise of the Eldrazi and the dragon madness on Tarkir.

But, this set is coming in a hot huge mess. And that is both the positive and negative aspects of  hot huge mess. To be timely this set gives me Tiger King vibes. Big and loud and filled with characters and emblems. You want to keep looking but should you? Easy to get (IT IS HUGE FUCKING MONSTERS!) but also difficult to get (What are these mechanics? Why am I looking for my vintage Mirage rules insert book?!)

I appreciate the flavor of this world. It has this Godzilla vibe (more on that later) where humans are trapped on a world filled with these epic beasts that we live around. Pick a side or get crushed. And there is something primally pleasing about GIANT guys in MTG. I am old enough to remember when we thought Craw Wurm was an absolute unit. My first rare ever, opening a 4th edition starter pack on the second floor of Plaza De Las Americas, was Leviathan. LOOK AT IT! IT IS HUGE!

This card is also awful

So, I dig that. But they amped up wacky-o-meter to something around Leviathan's converted mana cost because we have dinosaur cats and hippo dinosaurs and demon krakens and nightmare elementals and all kinds of jams.

OH LAWD HE COMING!!

Because this permeates the set (which makes sense from a design point of view. You can get these wild guys at all rarities) it really feels like we are in wacky land. Nothing wrong about that but none of these strike me as terrifying. Fun but...well once in the sixth grade we had to design an animal and I designed the Slicer which was a razor tooth tiger otter thing with poison. Got me an A because I made the thing and wrote my at least five paragraphs essay explaining it but still goofy.

I like it but it feels like too much for my old man bones.

The mechanics make me cringe. WOTC/MTG clearly signs they are going digital with this set because what a monster to track on paper. Hard to explain unless you know the rules but mutate gives me the unease that banding did back in the day. The mechanic takes me back to arguing over the lunch table on who was right.

Whenever I see this name I have to roll off "Block Rocking Beats"

Hang around gaming for long enough and you will hear the term "grok." It's shorthand for being to understand something organically. A program you use can be easy to "grok" if the interface lends itself to it.

This is the first MTG mechanic I can't grok without outside resources. And that does not mean how to use efficiently or optimize. I'm good enough to know why I lose at MTG but not good enough to elevate past C+ efficiency.

No, I mean that reading the card doesn't really seem to explain the card.

On a digital client like MTG Online or Arena, well that is easy because the program enforces the rules. I bet Arena will have a neat little demo that shows you how your creatures mutate if you go top or bottom.* And that is awesome but what a mess to track in paper especially at the LGS level. I feel that I am either going to get henpecked by the spikiest spike or let some kid slide with a misplay. Either way I will lose. Either to efficiency or the dumb luck that never favors me,**

Even more complex is the companion mechanic and limitations on deck building. Only even numbered cards? Only one card type? Amazing how MTG can keep pushing design space 25 years in and how digital can amplify that but god damn is it going to feel bad at the FNM when someone runs this guy and they have something with a five cost converted mana cost. Because people are human. Everyone seems to be screaming about cheating but I'm just worried about casual fuck ups.

I think I can run this in Oona commander as one of the 99, right? Right?!

Call a judge? No LGS here has them on staff. Be a dick? Its not in my DNA. Get wrecked? OK, I guess.


One fun thing with the set is the alternate art on the cards. Remember the Godzilla reference?

I shoot the lights out

Somehow WOTC got with Toho to license their 50 plus years of monsters to make alternate art versions of cards in the set. So, no, Godzilla is not really in MTG but he represents a card (Zilortha, Strength Incarnate) with same effects. Its a pre-made alter. And note there are other art variants available in different packs, etc.

I think it is easy to be dismissive of WOTC's recent dive into alternate art/limited edition madness. I wish I was rich enough to afford all of them but as mentioned earlier...I'm human. However, with the PAPER release of Ikoria delayed until May (maybe even later)*** I do hope these help sell packs so we can keep putting little bits of cardboard in plastic sleeves and thinking that it is us who is somehow smarter.


*Yes...phrasing.
**Note that every MTG player says this.
***Digitally it will still release as normal. And while I look foward to trying these cards and mechanics out (I mean, you read this blog. I'm wrong often) on say Arena it really fucking sucks. It is petty to say that is what irked me most about the pandemic but damn it I'm not made of stone. .