This will become a new feature on the relaunched blog. During the hiatus I learned what all this labeling business really means and think of how easy it will be for you to find all my insight!
As a quick aside...at my job I am currently covering our social media and I just figured out (Maybe something like two week ago) how to use hashtags. I can only compare my glee to figuring out this Internet trick to finding ways to fit more characters into your AIM profile way back in freshmen year of college.
Getting back to the post, my wife and I had a son in July of 2013. I am sure that if you go through the blog archives you will find some ninny poo post about me not wanting kids. And, indeed at that time, I did not want kids. When we got pregnant, we were OK with being so, but it wasn't the product of months of trying and deliberating. If you want to fight about whether having kids or not having kids is better for you, for society, for whatever then this is not the place. What I can talk about is what I wish I knew before having him. Not just what to buy or not buy (So many outfits that were never used, etc) but how you would feel or think. Especially being the father. It drove me crazy that so much of the "daddy" literature or sections in the pregnancy book seemed aimed at mean from ancient eras. Or truly deprived ones. All the advice either seemed aimed at quaint patriarchs (Why don't you try making yourself a quick sandwich instead of asking her to make dinner) or young gun dipshits. (You may need to play less video games every one in a while). Isn't knowing this prerequisite to getting the girl to actually let you in her presence much less into the bedroom?
So, here goes. I apologize for the sudden turn but when you have a kid you will have many many many dark thoughts. Vicious thoughts. The kind of thoughts where your lungs start to seize from the bottom up until your throat wiggles on baited gasps and screams. Choking. Drowning. Burns. Falls, Drops and Plastic Bags. Why do babies love plastic bags so much?! Is it the sound? The terror they strike in their parents?! WHY!?!?!?!
There are so many ways things can go wrong. So many ways for the baby to just go poof and gone. And it gets worse the older they get which is supposed to be the exact opposite except that instead of worrying about SIDS you are now worried about a car accident or falling down the stairs while holding him. I now walk down the stairs like a stop motion picture because I could trip and then KERSPLAT! Every trip to the living room is like learning to walk again because of these nagging and horrible dark thoughts.
The other day we were bundling him up to go for a brief car rider and he was not cooperating. I told my wife, "Hey, it is like a five minute drive and he will be outside for exactly one minute. Let's just put a blanket over him." Her response was, "Well, what if I am in a car accident and he needs to survive in the cold until help arrives?" Why didn't I think of that?!
An old phrase goes that being a parent means that you never stop worrying about your children. My own mother has pulled it out in chats with me. I am starting to see the logic of that but I hope it becomes much less about sheer terror and perhaps just general anxiety as the future proceeds. I don't have a cure for these feelings. I remind myself that my son is still alive and happy and healthy so I must be doing something right!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Relive your blog...again
Three years ago, I signed off on blogging. It must have been the second or third time I killed one of my blogs. I always thought of myself as humble, but I was surprised that people did not come in droves to read my first drafts of short stories or observations on how fire stations and air conditioners are indeed quite very loud.
Much has changed in those three years. I found stability in a job I have no had for four years. My wife and I bought a house. I got a car. I went on my first ever international trip (I did not get cool wings from the pilot, this being a post 9/11 world) We had a kid! A beautiful son who will have a divot in the center of his forehead by age 2 from how much I kiss him.
I had a writing teacher in college, whom I very much respected (Jason Ockert..give his books a buy) who told us at the end of the year that, "If you find yourself not writing on your own after college, then don't get an MFA. Give something else a shot." Of course, at the time in the year of 2006, this would not apply to me, but it sure became that way as I bounced from job to job and then moved to Ohio and got a career. Oh, I always scribbled and I have left all my archives up for you to see, but dreams of books are better left to those much more skilled.
All that said, I recently found myself struggling to sleep not because my son would refuse to sleep in his crib, but because I wanted to get something down. To pound out thoughts that creep in during the drowsy topsy turvy of going to bed. Of something I daydream about in a work meeting. When I stare into my son's eyes and I am paralyzed because I am going to become my own father and that means dying when my kid is eight I want to talk to someone. I strain my wife's patience too much already during the day so I return to the Internet!
That's right! We are back and posting, hopefully, much more often because I now hopefully have something else to talk about besides Chia plants and comic books.
Much has changed in those three years. I found stability in a job I have no had for four years. My wife and I bought a house. I got a car. I went on my first ever international trip (I did not get cool wings from the pilot, this being a post 9/11 world) We had a kid! A beautiful son who will have a divot in the center of his forehead by age 2 from how much I kiss him.
I had a writing teacher in college, whom I very much respected (Jason Ockert..give his books a buy) who told us at the end of the year that, "If you find yourself not writing on your own after college, then don't get an MFA. Give something else a shot." Of course, at the time in the year of 2006, this would not apply to me, but it sure became that way as I bounced from job to job and then moved to Ohio and got a career. Oh, I always scribbled and I have left all my archives up for you to see, but dreams of books are better left to those much more skilled.
All that said, I recently found myself struggling to sleep not because my son would refuse to sleep in his crib, but because I wanted to get something down. To pound out thoughts that creep in during the drowsy topsy turvy of going to bed. Of something I daydream about in a work meeting. When I stare into my son's eyes and I am paralyzed because I am going to become my own father and that means dying when my kid is eight I want to talk to someone. I strain my wife's patience too much already during the day so I return to the Internet!
That's right! We are back and posting, hopefully, much more often because I now hopefully have something else to talk about besides Chia plants and comic books.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Another goodbye
I have tried my hand at blogging on and off for four years. Whether it was the original Blog of Plenty, the second Blog of Plenty, or Fear of the Blank Page, I always wanted to find a unique voice that would bring some readers. While I don't think myself as particularly vain, blogging is an inherently self-satisfying exercise and for those four years, I have been pretty much satisfying only myself.
Yes, I am officially closing Fear of the Blank Page.
I realize this is sudden and that I should have closed out on something better than the latest Sherlock Holmes movie, but I can realize that I don't have the blogging power. While the record may stand against it, I am not the person that likes to quit, but I can realize that my talents may not rest in snarky blogging. That includes both the craft and the patience to blog continuously. If you have a blog you follow routinely, then make sure to thank the blogger because it is tough to come up with thrice a week posts. Much less daily.
There are plenty of other places online where you can read funny movie reviews. Dave Campbell may be gone, but you can still find lots of great comics blogs, which also feature witty movie, book, and TV commentaries. If you want a good story, then check out your local library.
For anyone that read any of the blogs and their posts, thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and interest. I hope that maybe one of these blogs struck you in the same way as the websites that convinced me to put thought to HTML. Actually, that may be too much to ask, but I do hope you had some fun. I certainly did, but now is the time to put it to rest.
Peace!
Yes, I am officially closing Fear of the Blank Page.
I realize this is sudden and that I should have closed out on something better than the latest Sherlock Holmes movie, but I can realize that I don't have the blogging power. While the record may stand against it, I am not the person that likes to quit, but I can realize that my talents may not rest in snarky blogging. That includes both the craft and the patience to blog continuously. If you have a blog you follow routinely, then make sure to thank the blogger because it is tough to come up with thrice a week posts. Much less daily.
There are plenty of other places online where you can read funny movie reviews. Dave Campbell may be gone, but you can still find lots of great comics blogs, which also feature witty movie, book, and TV commentaries. If you want a good story, then check out your local library.
For anyone that read any of the blogs and their posts, thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and interest. I hope that maybe one of these blogs struck you in the same way as the websites that convinced me to put thought to HTML. Actually, that may be too much to ask, but I do hope you had some fun. I certainly did, but now is the time to put it to rest.
Peace!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Seeing More
Amanda and I saw Sherlock Holmes over the weekend and I must admit to liking it and not understanding the overall lukewarm reaction to it. Of course, if you have followed this blog over the past few weeks, then you must have noticed that I have lukewarm reactions to movies people absolutely love.
Maybe people expected too much from this movie and the crowd pleasing Robert Downey, Jr. Iron Man and Tropic Thunder were awesome and gained both commercial and critical praise. Of course he would do it with this one as well! It could also be that the film ends with pretty much a huge "To Be Continued." They don't put those cringe inducing words on screen, but the entire vehicle was just a setup for more movies. Look, I know Hollywood will turn everything into a trilogy. Want to start taking bets on what the third Alvin and The Chipmunks movie will be called? The Tweelogy? But, be a bit coy about it with fleeting celebrity interviews and a leaked early script draft leaked online.
I appreciated the movie's buddy cop theme and there was a nice chemistry between Downey's Sherlock and Jude Law's Watson. Sherlock had a tough time elucidating his apprehensions of Watson marrying and leaving the sleuthing business. For such a rational man capable of cracking cases by just reading the initial police report, this was a nice touch of humanity. I also appreciated that we got that fragility without some heavy handed pathos building scene where we flash back to Sherlock's parents being killed by a mugger outside the opera or dying in a climbing accident.
Don't know if this is very true to the actual relationship in the books. The older interpretations do make it seem like Watson is Sherlock's go-fer. I remember reading some of the Sherlock Holmes books when I was younger, but that is about it. I am not sure what purists feel about the movie, but, if it is like any other movie based on a cherished serial story, then I am going to say they are mad. The movie is very physical, with slow mo fight scenes that made one Internet commentator say it is Fight Club meets Victorian England. I don't mind a bit of action thrown in to spice up the gumshoeing, but they do sometimes feel inserted for the hell of it. Best example is an early battle where Watson and Holmes dispatch a band of brigands tasked with burning the evidence. You can almost hear the characters resist saying "Oh, here we go again" when the guys show up. The fight then continues for a few minutes, extending into a scene defined by the almost there feel of a Family Guy gag.
Speaking of inserting elements for the hell of it...why was Rachel McAdams in the movie? Not necessarily her (Got nothing against her), but her character seemed pointless. Not to give away any story elements, but her quasi romantic foil is meant to keep Holmes, whether via sincerity or deception, on the case. This would make sense in any other movie that wasn't about Sherlock Holmes.
The world's greatest detective needs someone to motivate him to stay on the case? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, maybe? This also feels hollow because an early conversation reveals how Holmes is frustrated that there are no more intriguing cases.
All of this relegates McAdams to a very pretty face and an American connection to an otherwise very European story. Remember the Tom Sawyer character from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
I liked the explanation at the end where Holmes elucidates on how the villain was able to do all his nefarious deeds. It's neat, albeit a bit muddled by the fact that no one could figure it out because all the clues are haphazardly placed. One scene fleetingly shows Holmes licking a rock, which features prominently in the villain's escape. Good luck trying to figure out what are clues and what are the quirky characteristic Downey puts into the Holmes persona. I thought he just licked rocks cause that was weird and we wanted weird.
Peace!
Maybe people expected too much from this movie and the crowd pleasing Robert Downey, Jr. Iron Man and Tropic Thunder were awesome and gained both commercial and critical praise. Of course he would do it with this one as well! It could also be that the film ends with pretty much a huge "To Be Continued." They don't put those cringe inducing words on screen, but the entire vehicle was just a setup for more movies. Look, I know Hollywood will turn everything into a trilogy. Want to start taking bets on what the third Alvin and The Chipmunks movie will be called? The Tweelogy? But, be a bit coy about it with fleeting celebrity interviews and a leaked early script draft leaked online.
I appreciated the movie's buddy cop theme and there was a nice chemistry between Downey's Sherlock and Jude Law's Watson. Sherlock had a tough time elucidating his apprehensions of Watson marrying and leaving the sleuthing business. For such a rational man capable of cracking cases by just reading the initial police report, this was a nice touch of humanity. I also appreciated that we got that fragility without some heavy handed pathos building scene where we flash back to Sherlock's parents being killed by a mugger outside the opera or dying in a climbing accident.
Don't know if this is very true to the actual relationship in the books. The older interpretations do make it seem like Watson is Sherlock's go-fer. I remember reading some of the Sherlock Holmes books when I was younger, but that is about it. I am not sure what purists feel about the movie, but, if it is like any other movie based on a cherished serial story, then I am going to say they are mad. The movie is very physical, with slow mo fight scenes that made one Internet commentator say it is Fight Club meets Victorian England. I don't mind a bit of action thrown in to spice up the gumshoeing, but they do sometimes feel inserted for the hell of it. Best example is an early battle where Watson and Holmes dispatch a band of brigands tasked with burning the evidence. You can almost hear the characters resist saying "Oh, here we go again" when the guys show up. The fight then continues for a few minutes, extending into a scene defined by the almost there feel of a Family Guy gag.
Speaking of inserting elements for the hell of it...why was Rachel McAdams in the movie? Not necessarily her (Got nothing against her), but her character seemed pointless. Not to give away any story elements, but her quasi romantic foil is meant to keep Holmes, whether via sincerity or deception, on the case. This would make sense in any other movie that wasn't about Sherlock Holmes.
The world's greatest detective needs someone to motivate him to stay on the case? The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, maybe? This also feels hollow because an early conversation reveals how Holmes is frustrated that there are no more intriguing cases.
All of this relegates McAdams to a very pretty face and an American connection to an otherwise very European story. Remember the Tom Sawyer character from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
I liked the explanation at the end where Holmes elucidates on how the villain was able to do all his nefarious deeds. It's neat, albeit a bit muddled by the fact that no one could figure it out because all the clues are haphazardly placed. One scene fleetingly shows Holmes licking a rock, which features prominently in the villain's escape. Good luck trying to figure out what are clues and what are the quirky characteristic Downey puts into the Holmes persona. I thought he just licked rocks cause that was weird and we wanted weird.
Peace!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Save Coco!
While it is not unusual for the blog to talk about TV, it is unusual for the blog to discuss celebrity gossip. Not to sound too tweedy, but I do sometimes agree that debates on whether or not you are on "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob" can take away from the national discourse. Our local Fox affiliate kept referring to the Tiger Woods scandal as "the gift that keeps on giving," often leading with it at the five o'clock hour. It should have been labeled "Son of a bitch, here we go again," because it became ad nauseam especially when scant information was stretched into entire remote segments.
Roaming Reporter (RR): "Well Bill, We just saw someone with long, blond hair leave Tiger's house."
Studio: "Ah, so we can assume it was a woman."
RR: "Yes, that would be safe to say."
Studio: "And that means this person would have two X chromosomes."
RR: "Yes, correct. Because they may be a woman."
Studio: "A woman just left Tiger's house."
RR: "We can confirm that a possible woman with blond hair left the house."
It also helps that I don't care very much. I like lots of people on TV and in movies, but, unless Joel McHale actually came to my house and slept with my wife, then I care very little who he sleeps with. I hope he sticks with his wife, but if he meets some other women then too bad, but I hope the keep making The Soup.
Even with all this said, I must admit that I am pretty upset about the recent developments in late night network television.
It appears that Conan got the ultimate shaft and that Leno will return to the 11:30 pm timeslot currently held by The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. We may still see Conan on NBC, but he will be pushed back to midnight. I have no idea what will happen to Jimmy Fallon or Carson Daly. I think the TV stops working at a certain part of the early AM.
I really hope Conan leaves NBC and take it to them on another network. He uprooted his whole life to move to L.A. and host the Tonight Show, something promised to him several years earlier, when we all thought Leno would bow out gracefully to go fiddle around with his cars. He is paying for the NBC's executives mistakes and Leno's stubbornness to leave the limelight. No one expected The Jay Leno Show to work, except for the folks at NBC who hailed it as an upcoming revolution in television. It is refreshing for them to be so upfront with their mistake, but Conan appears to be heading for a up close meeting with the underside of a bus.
I can't believe I just typed this, but, TMZ reports that Conan is "pissed." I tend to trust TMZ as much as a certain little boy that cried wolf, but they do their job well, and that job is to dig up dirt. I hope Conan is pissed and that the NBC execs now fear seeing a blazing red pompadour coming at them from across the hedges. La Bamba could play a trombone solo to prelude to the attack, much like the strings in Jaws.
Remember that Conan was already hamstrung by the fact that Leno would still lead into him. While Conan took over the mantle of The Tonight Show, Leno was never off the air, making the whole switch over seem fake. Except for Conan, who had to move cross country and face off against another veteran TV host, David Letterman. Everything was very real for him and now he is paying for the reality that....
1) Viewers do actually enjoy some drama at 10pm. I agree that there is enough CSI clones out there to solve the Zodiac killings, but their popularity says something. People watch them
And,
2) Jay Leno is not funny. I still believe he is a nice guy, even though his boorish behavior before and after the switchover stands testament against this, but not funny.
I know he has his fans and that he reels in the older Johnny Carson viewers still wondering who the hell this red haired guy is, but Leno has not made me laugh since I was 13. Supporters often point out how hilarious the Jaywalking and Headlines segments are. Indeed, they are funny, but Leno doesn't produce a single one of them. We laugh because he is telling us this is chuckle worthy, but he has no hand in making he funny. Just showing it. You don't give the MC the Lifetime Achievement award or the guy who throws out the first pitch a World Series ring. Hell, people send in the Headlines bits to him!
The original jokes are telegraphed from three junctions away with punchlines out of those "101 Knock Knock Joke" type books you see in the children's section of the library. His humor always felt very safe with a focus on reaffirming punchlines and images we expect.
If the joke mentions an intern, then Leno is going to wrap up with a Lewinsky reference. Yes, still. If the joke mentions a husband and wife then the man will be a dude's dude and the wife a hen pecking shrew. It it like the Far Side comic, where every image was a repeating trope, except Larson used it to create a world one panel at a time. Leno phones it in every night. Finally, the joke never seems to be on him. Maybe it says something about the comedies I watched growing up, but I want my comedian to be a bit self deprecating. Conan was my man when it came to this, especially since he recently referred to his abs as "The half empty laundry bag."
Conan's humor feels much more brainy and involved. His skits often created their own logic that they must adhere to. Of course, Conan had to retire the Masturbating Bear when he left for L.A. It made sense in New York at 12:30AM, but The Tonight Show was for all America and the Bear's reason for being was that he was an obtuse and hilarious nonsequitor. The running Triumph bits and the photo slide montages, my favorite from the Late Night era, where they all ended up dead, required an investment.
You watch Conan. You see Leno.
In the ensuing fallout of the shuffle, I have read Internet comments against Conan and in support of Jay. It must be a generational thing, because I have never meet anyone that dislikes Conan, but I can understand the critiques that he can ham it up in front of the camera and often switch into asides and inside jokes. When I like a show then I try to do everything I can to love it and shows with inside jokes and a running streak of healthy self deprecation are key. This is why I loved Arrested Development and it got shafted by Fox. And when is the third season of Flight of the Conchords coming? I notice a pattern...
Good luck, Conan! Please leave NBC. Now that Southland has gone to TNT then I only watch it for the Thursday night comedies, which the execs might replace with even more Leno. He is cheap to produce and it seems like most of American likes him. Just like high fructose corn syrup.
Peace!
Roaming Reporter (RR): "Well Bill, We just saw someone with long, blond hair leave Tiger's house."
Studio: "Ah, so we can assume it was a woman."
RR: "Yes, that would be safe to say."
Studio: "And that means this person would have two X chromosomes."
RR: "Yes, correct. Because they may be a woman."
Studio: "A woman just left Tiger's house."
RR: "We can confirm that a possible woman with blond hair left the house."
It also helps that I don't care very much. I like lots of people on TV and in movies, but, unless Joel McHale actually came to my house and slept with my wife, then I care very little who he sleeps with. I hope he sticks with his wife, but if he meets some other women then too bad, but I hope the keep making The Soup.
Even with all this said, I must admit that I am pretty upset about the recent developments in late night network television.
It appears that Conan got the ultimate shaft and that Leno will return to the 11:30 pm timeslot currently held by The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. We may still see Conan on NBC, but he will be pushed back to midnight. I have no idea what will happen to Jimmy Fallon or Carson Daly. I think the TV stops working at a certain part of the early AM.
I really hope Conan leaves NBC and take it to them on another network. He uprooted his whole life to move to L.A. and host the Tonight Show, something promised to him several years earlier, when we all thought Leno would bow out gracefully to go fiddle around with his cars. He is paying for the NBC's executives mistakes and Leno's stubbornness to leave the limelight. No one expected The Jay Leno Show to work, except for the folks at NBC who hailed it as an upcoming revolution in television. It is refreshing for them to be so upfront with their mistake, but Conan appears to be heading for a up close meeting with the underside of a bus.
I can't believe I just typed this, but, TMZ reports that Conan is "pissed." I tend to trust TMZ as much as a certain little boy that cried wolf, but they do their job well, and that job is to dig up dirt. I hope Conan is pissed and that the NBC execs now fear seeing a blazing red pompadour coming at them from across the hedges. La Bamba could play a trombone solo to prelude to the attack, much like the strings in Jaws.
Remember that Conan was already hamstrung by the fact that Leno would still lead into him. While Conan took over the mantle of The Tonight Show, Leno was never off the air, making the whole switch over seem fake. Except for Conan, who had to move cross country and face off against another veteran TV host, David Letterman. Everything was very real for him and now he is paying for the reality that....
1) Viewers do actually enjoy some drama at 10pm. I agree that there is enough CSI clones out there to solve the Zodiac killings, but their popularity says something. People watch them
And,
2) Jay Leno is not funny. I still believe he is a nice guy, even though his boorish behavior before and after the switchover stands testament against this, but not funny.
I know he has his fans and that he reels in the older Johnny Carson viewers still wondering who the hell this red haired guy is, but Leno has not made me laugh since I was 13. Supporters often point out how hilarious the Jaywalking and Headlines segments are. Indeed, they are funny, but Leno doesn't produce a single one of them. We laugh because he is telling us this is chuckle worthy, but he has no hand in making he funny. Just showing it. You don't give the MC the Lifetime Achievement award or the guy who throws out the first pitch a World Series ring. Hell, people send in the Headlines bits to him!
The original jokes are telegraphed from three junctions away with punchlines out of those "101 Knock Knock Joke" type books you see in the children's section of the library. His humor always felt very safe with a focus on reaffirming punchlines and images we expect.
If the joke mentions an intern, then Leno is going to wrap up with a Lewinsky reference. Yes, still. If the joke mentions a husband and wife then the man will be a dude's dude and the wife a hen pecking shrew. It it like the Far Side comic, where every image was a repeating trope, except Larson used it to create a world one panel at a time. Leno phones it in every night. Finally, the joke never seems to be on him. Maybe it says something about the comedies I watched growing up, but I want my comedian to be a bit self deprecating. Conan was my man when it came to this, especially since he recently referred to his abs as "The half empty laundry bag."
Conan's humor feels much more brainy and involved. His skits often created their own logic that they must adhere to. Of course, Conan had to retire the Masturbating Bear when he left for L.A. It made sense in New York at 12:30AM, but The Tonight Show was for all America and the Bear's reason for being was that he was an obtuse and hilarious nonsequitor. The running Triumph bits and the photo slide montages, my favorite from the Late Night era, where they all ended up dead, required an investment.
You watch Conan. You see Leno.
In the ensuing fallout of the shuffle, I have read Internet comments against Conan and in support of Jay. It must be a generational thing, because I have never meet anyone that dislikes Conan, but I can understand the critiques that he can ham it up in front of the camera and often switch into asides and inside jokes. When I like a show then I try to do everything I can to love it and shows with inside jokes and a running streak of healthy self deprecation are key. This is why I loved Arrested Development and it got shafted by Fox. And when is the third season of Flight of the Conchords coming? I notice a pattern...
Good luck, Conan! Please leave NBC. Now that Southland has gone to TNT then I only watch it for the Thursday night comedies, which the execs might replace with even more Leno. He is cheap to produce and it seems like most of American likes him. Just like high fructose corn syrup.
Peace!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Ouch
I sustained my third sports injury ever earlier this week. Much as this may surprise you, loyal blog readers, I did not strain my thigh making the last second three-pointer at the all city street ball championships. * And don't worry gym fans, every piece of equipment at the local Y is still in fine order. I think.
No, I hurt my inner thigh on the Wii Fit. The Lunge Strength Training routine to be specific. You can see a sample of that routine on the video below. Just fast forward to about the four minute mark.
I knew this would happen as soon as I got the Wii Fit and, to be honest, it is much better than punching through a window after overcompensating in Rhythm Kung Fu. Or doing something horrible to an ankle (shatter, twist, roll...you name it!) during the Step game. Or just plain dying during the Super Hula Hoop. I'm like Zoolander...an ambiturner that can't turn left.
Thankfully, I did not hear anything pop or crack, but sure as hell felt it for the rest of the week. Most steps felt like your little brother trying to punch you out. Sure, it doesn't hurt very much, but you don't want to take hundred punches in a row.
It feels much better now, not that I can attest that to any specific mending routine. Plenty of ibuprofen and "No, I'm fines."
My Wii injury ranks right up with my two previous sports injuries, one of which did not even involve sports.
That one?
Well, I pulled a neck muscle while working as a janitor during one summer in college. You try unscrewing three dozen light bulb covers, wiping all the dead gnats out of them, and then screwing them back into place...
Yeah...I know you could do it, but, c'mon, it was me. I had inproper light bulb screwing posture. There is a joke in there somewhere.
The other? That did involve an sport, even though some may debate it as an activity.
It happened during the 9th grade in a gym class kick ball game. If the Wii thinks I am fat now, then it would have blown up if it meet 14 year old Garik. I usually played in the outfield because that was the nice place for fat kids that did not run very well. When we played soccer, I was usually a defensemen and in volleyball folks prayed that the ball did not lob itself in our direction.
One kid smacked the rubber ball straight into the air and it arched in a nice rainbow floater path towards me in center field. I reached out my arms, but did not tense my forearm muscles enough because the ball slapped past my hand, rolling my fingers against the back of my palms.
My right middle finger took the brunt of the drop and I never really bothered to take proper care of it. I took a friend to the school cafeteria and asked for some ice. We got a Zip Lock bag and wrapped the ice filled bag around my finger. There you go!
Of course, the ice did not last past third period and the finger healed on its own by permanently arching the first finger joint up, forcing my finger tip to always slight dip down. Here is a picture, albeit a slightly blurry one...
My finger looks like a dromedary camel. I remember asking my pediatrician back then if this was bad and he said no, but that it did mean the wound had healed incorrectly.
War wounds. The ladies love them.
PEACE!
*Mind you it is January. The All City, Slip and Slush Stretball Championship. Brought to you by Morton's Rock Salt. Don't get too much of it on the ball.
No, I hurt my inner thigh on the Wii Fit. The Lunge Strength Training routine to be specific. You can see a sample of that routine on the video below. Just fast forward to about the four minute mark.
I knew this would happen as soon as I got the Wii Fit and, to be honest, it is much better than punching through a window after overcompensating in Rhythm Kung Fu. Or doing something horrible to an ankle (shatter, twist, roll...you name it!) during the Step game. Or just plain dying during the Super Hula Hoop. I'm like Zoolander...an ambiturner that can't turn left.
Thankfully, I did not hear anything pop or crack, but sure as hell felt it for the rest of the week. Most steps felt like your little brother trying to punch you out. Sure, it doesn't hurt very much, but you don't want to take hundred punches in a row.
It feels much better now, not that I can attest that to any specific mending routine. Plenty of ibuprofen and "No, I'm fines."
My Wii injury ranks right up with my two previous sports injuries, one of which did not even involve sports.
That one?
Well, I pulled a neck muscle while working as a janitor during one summer in college. You try unscrewing three dozen light bulb covers, wiping all the dead gnats out of them, and then screwing them back into place...
Yeah...I know you could do it, but, c'mon, it was me. I had inproper light bulb screwing posture. There is a joke in there somewhere.
The other? That did involve an sport, even though some may debate it as an activity.
It happened during the 9th grade in a gym class kick ball game. If the Wii thinks I am fat now, then it would have blown up if it meet 14 year old Garik. I usually played in the outfield because that was the nice place for fat kids that did not run very well. When we played soccer, I was usually a defensemen and in volleyball folks prayed that the ball did not lob itself in our direction.
One kid smacked the rubber ball straight into the air and it arched in a nice rainbow floater path towards me in center field. I reached out my arms, but did not tense my forearm muscles enough because the ball slapped past my hand, rolling my fingers against the back of my palms.
My right middle finger took the brunt of the drop and I never really bothered to take proper care of it. I took a friend to the school cafeteria and asked for some ice. We got a Zip Lock bag and wrapped the ice filled bag around my finger. There you go!
Of course, the ice did not last past third period and the finger healed on its own by permanently arching the first finger joint up, forcing my finger tip to always slight dip down. Here is a picture, albeit a slightly blurry one...
My finger looks like a dromedary camel. I remember asking my pediatrician back then if this was bad and he said no, but that it did mean the wound had healed incorrectly.
War wounds. The ladies love them.
PEACE!
*Mind you it is January. The All City, Slip and Slush Stretball Championship. Brought to you by Morton's Rock Salt. Don't get too much of it on the ball.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Boo!
Boy, am I happy that I did not believe the hype and waited to see Paranormal Activity on DVD.
I remember the lesson of The Blair Witch Project well and refused to be reeled in by a clever advertising campaign and plenty of word of mouth. Tween-age Garik was very excited to watch that film and could not wait to see what many described as an true story filled with terror. A friend claimed that he had already seen the movie on a bootleg copy. Since this was 1999, it meant that the guy had to have a 64KB modem (LUCKY!) or associate with some shady characters. In any case, he was bad ass and told me the movie "just killed you with suspense."
Of course, Blair Witch was horrible and I was surprised to meet people in college legitimately scared by it. It is now close to eleven years past the movie, but it is the rare movie that is both lame and a pain to watch. Nothing happens and we have to see these doldrums through the same lens as the security camera at the first National Bank of San Andreas Fault.
I still give Blair Witch a well deserved nod for its slick advertising campaign, which spun the myth that this was all true via Time magazine cover stories, Sci-Fi network prime time specials, and false listings on IMDB, which reported all three actors were deceased. It wasn't the first to do so,* but it did it the best and the people who came up with it do deserve every bit of credit. You can draw a direct line from Blair Witch to Paranormal Activity, which Amanda and I rented on DVD this past weekend...
If you were one of the three people that did not hear about Paranormal Activity (PA) then...what was your secret? Did you have a very big rock? Or on an island? Our local ABC affiliate actually sent a reporter to watch it and later report on how scary it was. Indeed, News Net 5 is on our side. The hype was phenomenal and increased by the fact that PA got a limited release and fans had to demand that big movie chains carry it. In Cleveland, it was only available in one theater out in the eastern suburbs until about mid October. I was working at a Halloween store at the time (Yes, I am that cool) and this seemed to act as a crucible for the hype...
"These headless lawn stakes are nice. But you know what was scary. Paranormal Activity!"
One co-worker swore that it was a true story and was undaunted by the fact that it wasn't and all the actors were very much alive.
The plot? A young couple, Katie and Micah, are living together in a home that is haunted by something. Micah buys a state of the art camera to document whatever is happening and explain to the jittery Katie that everything is in her head. Or it is the damn neighbor kids. As the film continues we learn that it is not the neighbor kids and Katie herself if pursued by an evil force dedicated to its malevolent mission. Hilarity does not ensues, unless your sense of humor is kind of demonic. If so, then the movie is hilarious.
The movie is wonderfully made especially if the claims that it was made for just $10,000 in a frenzied seven day shoot are indeed true. Even if these were fudged for dramatic effect, you can tell that this did not have any major studio or a Michael Bay sized budget. It isn't because of poor quality, but because of honesty and clever effects. It says a lot when movie goes are terrified and moved by this sleeper film and universally pan digitally enhanced gore fests. If you hate that there will by 50 Saw films then you can take comfort that people can still be scared and impressed by movies like PA.
I appreciate the movie making, but the actual movie felt a bit boring with well executed but very much telegraphed scares. The movie keeps up the tension, but never acts on this except in the scenes it tells you are going to be scary. Remember the scene in Signs where you first see the alien? Well. here it is below...
That was an excellent scary scene that would have been put to good use in P.A. Instead of hearing the demon come running up the stairs and then be hit by the scare, imagine seeing a shadow loom over Katie and Micah as they fret over the lack of sleep in the kitchen.
The demon effects are done with a subtle, yet effective attention to detail that keeps us scared without every really showing the monster. The whole concept of having something invade you while you are in bed is what got to most people and I did appreciate the scene where it gets it bed with them and you can see the outline against the sheets? Imagine a scene where we just see a part of the mattress dip down as if someone is sitting on it. And that just plays out all night. No footsteps. It just shows up. And then it strokes Katie's hair for a creepy, perverted moment. They could do that, but first the demon is going to turn on the hall light (Really? Satan is afraid of the dark) so we know it is coming.
The movie is a victim of its own hype and further crippled by the fact that the trailer shows you the big scare. Very little actually happens in the freak out department and most of that comes at the very end. The end scenes provide the most trailer material which speaks to the fact that, indeed, not much happens. A movie that gives you a nice five second warning before each scare and already showed you the money has a hard time keeping you scared. Especially after all the hype. I imagine that if you saw this back in 2007 on the independent film circuit then the scares would have been heightened. Some European reviewers online have commented how their barrier from some of the hype helped intensify the scares. So, I guess the hype won even though I opened by saying I dodged it.
I did like the relationship between Katie and Micah. It felt honest and sincere, especially in the happy moments at the start and the terror at the end. I felt more pangs as they argued about what to do and in the moments where each was terrified for the other. Micah gives it his all as plays literal tug of war with the monster with Katie as the rope. There is also a scene where Katie has clutched a cross so tightly that it cuts into her hand and Micah has to left the near catatonic Katie to help. She also struggles to keep it all together as she can't explain why this being is attached to her and why it feels so threatened by Micah.
There are several scenes where they cry about having little sleep and how this is starting to effect their lives beyond the home. In the end, we learn that the monster has full control of Katie and uses her body to betray Micah and the relationship. These moments are also moving as Katie alternates between the brink of madness and eerie smiles.
There are several endings to PA and the relationship angle plays better into the alternate one offered in the U.S. DVD release. As a relationship movie, PA defies the hype by offering us a glimpse of what we many do if faced with such a situation. As a horror movie, it seems to stumble by letting you know when it is coming and relying on horror movie tropes we have already seen, albeit not as nicely executed.
Peace!
*No, that honor belongs to a truly awful movie called Cannibal Holocaust. Awful in the fact that is as close to a snuff film as you can get with actual animal slayings that include a turtle quartering and pig shooting. I have seen bits and pieces of online and savvy searchers could find the whole film. Its checkered production and distribution history also includes charges of brutality to the actual human actors and disproved claims of onscreen murder. Some critics have hailed it as revolutionary and brainy, but passing actual killings as entertainment cannot merit a defense even on this blog.
I remember the lesson of The Blair Witch Project well and refused to be reeled in by a clever advertising campaign and plenty of word of mouth. Tween-age Garik was very excited to watch that film and could not wait to see what many described as an true story filled with terror. A friend claimed that he had already seen the movie on a bootleg copy. Since this was 1999, it meant that the guy had to have a 64KB modem (LUCKY!) or associate with some shady characters. In any case, he was bad ass and told me the movie "just killed you with suspense."
Of course, Blair Witch was horrible and I was surprised to meet people in college legitimately scared by it. It is now close to eleven years past the movie, but it is the rare movie that is both lame and a pain to watch. Nothing happens and we have to see these doldrums through the same lens as the security camera at the first National Bank of San Andreas Fault.
***SPOILERS ABOUND BEYOND HERE****
I still give Blair Witch a well deserved nod for its slick advertising campaign, which spun the myth that this was all true via Time magazine cover stories, Sci-Fi network prime time specials, and false listings on IMDB, which reported all three actors were deceased. It wasn't the first to do so,* but it did it the best and the people who came up with it do deserve every bit of credit. You can draw a direct line from Blair Witch to Paranormal Activity, which Amanda and I rented on DVD this past weekend...
If you were one of the three people that did not hear about Paranormal Activity (PA) then...what was your secret? Did you have a very big rock? Or on an island? Our local ABC affiliate actually sent a reporter to watch it and later report on how scary it was. Indeed, News Net 5 is on our side. The hype was phenomenal and increased by the fact that PA got a limited release and fans had to demand that big movie chains carry it. In Cleveland, it was only available in one theater out in the eastern suburbs until about mid October. I was working at a Halloween store at the time (Yes, I am that cool) and this seemed to act as a crucible for the hype...
"These headless lawn stakes are nice. But you know what was scary. Paranormal Activity!"
One co-worker swore that it was a true story and was undaunted by the fact that it wasn't and all the actors were very much alive.
The plot? A young couple, Katie and Micah, are living together in a home that is haunted by something. Micah buys a state of the art camera to document whatever is happening and explain to the jittery Katie that everything is in her head. Or it is the damn neighbor kids. As the film continues we learn that it is not the neighbor kids and Katie herself if pursued by an evil force dedicated to its malevolent mission. Hilarity does not ensues, unless your sense of humor is kind of demonic. If so, then the movie is hilarious.
The movie is wonderfully made especially if the claims that it was made for just $10,000 in a frenzied seven day shoot are indeed true. Even if these were fudged for dramatic effect, you can tell that this did not have any major studio or a Michael Bay sized budget. It isn't because of poor quality, but because of honesty and clever effects. It says a lot when movie goes are terrified and moved by this sleeper film and universally pan digitally enhanced gore fests. If you hate that there will by 50 Saw films then you can take comfort that people can still be scared and impressed by movies like PA.
I appreciate the movie making, but the actual movie felt a bit boring with well executed but very much telegraphed scares. The movie keeps up the tension, but never acts on this except in the scenes it tells you are going to be scary. Remember the scene in Signs where you first see the alien? Well. here it is below...
That was an excellent scary scene that would have been put to good use in P.A. Instead of hearing the demon come running up the stairs and then be hit by the scare, imagine seeing a shadow loom over Katie and Micah as they fret over the lack of sleep in the kitchen.
The demon effects are done with a subtle, yet effective attention to detail that keeps us scared without every really showing the monster. The whole concept of having something invade you while you are in bed is what got to most people and I did appreciate the scene where it gets it bed with them and you can see the outline against the sheets? Imagine a scene where we just see a part of the mattress dip down as if someone is sitting on it. And that just plays out all night. No footsteps. It just shows up. And then it strokes Katie's hair for a creepy, perverted moment. They could do that, but first the demon is going to turn on the hall light (Really? Satan is afraid of the dark) so we know it is coming.
The movie is a victim of its own hype and further crippled by the fact that the trailer shows you the big scare. Very little actually happens in the freak out department and most of that comes at the very end. The end scenes provide the most trailer material which speaks to the fact that, indeed, not much happens. A movie that gives you a nice five second warning before each scare and already showed you the money has a hard time keeping you scared. Especially after all the hype. I imagine that if you saw this back in 2007 on the independent film circuit then the scares would have been heightened. Some European reviewers online have commented how their barrier from some of the hype helped intensify the scares. So, I guess the hype won even though I opened by saying I dodged it.
I did like the relationship between Katie and Micah. It felt honest and sincere, especially in the happy moments at the start and the terror at the end. I felt more pangs as they argued about what to do and in the moments where each was terrified for the other. Micah gives it his all as plays literal tug of war with the monster with Katie as the rope. There is also a scene where Katie has clutched a cross so tightly that it cuts into her hand and Micah has to left the near catatonic Katie to help. She also struggles to keep it all together as she can't explain why this being is attached to her and why it feels so threatened by Micah.
There are several scenes where they cry about having little sleep and how this is starting to effect their lives beyond the home. In the end, we learn that the monster has full control of Katie and uses her body to betray Micah and the relationship. These moments are also moving as Katie alternates between the brink of madness and eerie smiles.
There are several endings to PA and the relationship angle plays better into the alternate one offered in the U.S. DVD release. As a relationship movie, PA defies the hype by offering us a glimpse of what we many do if faced with such a situation. As a horror movie, it seems to stumble by letting you know when it is coming and relying on horror movie tropes we have already seen, albeit not as nicely executed.
Peace!
*No, that honor belongs to a truly awful movie called Cannibal Holocaust. Awful in the fact that is as close to a snuff film as you can get with actual animal slayings that include a turtle quartering and pig shooting. I have seen bits and pieces of online and savvy searchers could find the whole film. Its checkered production and distribution history also includes charges of brutality to the actual human actors and disproved claims of onscreen murder. Some critics have hailed it as revolutionary and brainy, but passing actual killings as entertainment cannot merit a defense even on this blog.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Medieval Acela
It wasn't all Wii games for us. Amanda was nice enough to get me The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for the Nintendo DS. My DS appreciated playing something else besides Pokemon and removing the Pearl cartridge must have felt like having that surgery on a benign tumor.
If you have never heard of the DS, then it is Nintendo's current handheld system and descendant of the original GameBoy. Aside from buttons, you have to use the bottom screen as a touch responsive component. So you can scratch off lotto tickets in Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars or choose menu options in the Pokemon games. You can draw images in other games and physically move the characters on the screen by dragging it across the touch pad. And as the name implies, it has two screen stacked on top of each other, which allows for two separate interfaces or a unified view of the larger action.
In this game, you use the touch screen to move our hero Link around. You can also give yourself a heart attack by playing the game's Spirt Flute, which requires you to actually blow into the DS's microphone opening. Having not played a Zelda game since Majora's Mask on the N64, I was not used to anything but a control stick. Spirit Tracks also takes a note from the previous sequels Wind Waker and Phat om Hourglass which all featured an overwold map dominated by water. You had to navigate this by ship, using your items and songs to control the wind. I never played those games, but from looking at images and videos it seemed bery similar to the other overworld maps where you got around by foot or horse.
Spirit Tracks does the same thing, but it has a train. Choo choo! The train has been a major sticking point with Zelda fanboys, which are just one level below Final Fantasy maniacs in fanatical devotion to their quasi-medieval worlds. The main concern is that the train is stupid because Zelda is supposed to be medieval and trains are a 19th century mainstay. If this were the Legend of Zelda: Steam Wars, then that would make sense, but these guys want realism. Realism in a game that features, amongst many other things...
I am no Zelda maniac, but I do know that the games are filled with items and influences free of the medieval England feel they try to emulate. It has a boomerang, which would make perfect sense in The Legend of Zelda: Outback Odyssey. In that version you need to play the Heaven's Didgeridoo instead of this game's Spirit Flute. It has a spring loaded spiked hook that you can use to climb up surfaces. And some games have Bombchus, wind up bombs that can crawl up walls and look like Speedy Gonzalez after pounding a few Stackers. Where was that in Robin Hood?
When people get mad about story items in games, then I think they are primarily devoted to the idea and not the actual game play. It's like having a room devoted to Jesus, but never going to church because they installed a new PA system. Speaking of which...
With that said...I do not like the train. D'oh!
It is not a story thing, but a game play thing. You need to run all over the world looking for secrets and having to follow the set track makes the whole thing a real grind. You need to catch all the snow rabbits by the snow temple, but then you must return them to the Rabbit rescue in the Forest temple. You spend large portions of the game just chugging along. The few enemies on the tracks are easily dispatched, but can get annoying as usually your eyes roll back into your head from the boredom of passing another pixelated treeline. Except for the Demon Trains, which cannot be killed and only avoided. Imagine playing Pac Man except that PacMan can only move in a straight line, there are no power pellets, and the ghosts blow you up!
Once you get to each station, the game is fun. You do almost everything on the touch pad including swinging your sword and using items. This can get a bit frantic, but adds a nice level of difficulty. In the N64 games, once you learned to Z-target and lock onto enemies, you were pretty much invincible with an eagle eye accuracy. You also get to control Zelda, which is a first! She can sometimes take command of certain enemies and this fires up a neat tag team mode where you have to draw paths for her with the touch screen and team up to corner enemies. So the swordplay is nice, but man do you need to work to get there. I thought that was supposed to be the challenge?
Chooo! Chooo!
Peace!
If you have never heard of the DS, then it is Nintendo's current handheld system and descendant of the original GameBoy. Aside from buttons, you have to use the bottom screen as a touch responsive component. So you can scratch off lotto tickets in Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars or choose menu options in the Pokemon games. You can draw images in other games and physically move the characters on the screen by dragging it across the touch pad. And as the name implies, it has two screen stacked on top of each other, which allows for two separate interfaces or a unified view of the larger action.In this game, you use the touch screen to move our hero Link around. You can also give yourself a heart attack by playing the game's Spirt Flute, which requires you to actually blow into the DS's microphone opening. Having not played a Zelda game since Majora's Mask on the N64, I was not used to anything but a control stick. Spirit Tracks also takes a note from the previous sequels Wind Waker and Phat om Hourglass which all featured an overwold map dominated by water. You had to navigate this by ship, using your items and songs to control the wind. I never played those games, but from looking at images and videos it seemed bery similar to the other overworld maps where you got around by foot or horse.
Spirit Tracks does the same thing, but it has a train. Choo choo! The train has been a major sticking point with Zelda fanboys, which are just one level below Final Fantasy maniacs in fanatical devotion to their quasi-medieval worlds. The main concern is that the train is stupid because Zelda is supposed to be medieval and trains are a 19th century mainstay. If this were the Legend of Zelda: Steam Wars, then that would make sense, but these guys want realism. Realism in a game that features, amongst many other things...
- Androgynous, hairless mountain men that eat bombs for sustenance...
- Anthropomorphized acorns that defend themselves by spitting acorns...
- Barnyard chickens that can unleash the wrath of God...
- Enough enchanted instruments to fill two Vatican secret store rooms...
- Oh, and bombs. Makes as much "real" sense as a train, but we let that one go, right?
I am no Zelda maniac, but I do know that the games are filled with items and influences free of the medieval England feel they try to emulate. It has a boomerang, which would make perfect sense in The Legend of Zelda: Outback Odyssey. In that version you need to play the Heaven's Didgeridoo instead of this game's Spirit Flute. It has a spring loaded spiked hook that you can use to climb up surfaces. And some games have Bombchus, wind up bombs that can crawl up walls and look like Speedy Gonzalez after pounding a few Stackers. Where was that in Robin Hood?
When people get mad about story items in games, then I think they are primarily devoted to the idea and not the actual game play. It's like having a room devoted to Jesus, but never going to church because they installed a new PA system. Speaking of which...
With that said...I do not like the train. D'oh!
It is not a story thing, but a game play thing. You need to run all over the world looking for secrets and having to follow the set track makes the whole thing a real grind. You need to catch all the snow rabbits by the snow temple, but then you must return them to the Rabbit rescue in the Forest temple. You spend large portions of the game just chugging along. The few enemies on the tracks are easily dispatched, but can get annoying as usually your eyes roll back into your head from the boredom of passing another pixelated treeline. Except for the Demon Trains, which cannot be killed and only avoided. Imagine playing Pac Man except that PacMan can only move in a straight line, there are no power pellets, and the ghosts blow you up!
Once you get to each station, the game is fun. You do almost everything on the touch pad including swinging your sword and using items. This can get a bit frantic, but adds a nice level of difficulty. In the N64 games, once you learned to Z-target and lock onto enemies, you were pretty much invincible with an eagle eye accuracy. You also get to control Zelda, which is a first! She can sometimes take command of certain enemies and this fires up a neat tag team mode where you have to draw paths for her with the touch screen and team up to corner enemies. So the swordplay is nice, but man do you need to work to get there. I thought that was supposed to be the challenge?
Chooo! Chooo!
Peace!
Friday, January 01, 2010
Holiday Returns
Happy New Year 2010!
Sorry for being AWOL for that odd time between X-mas and New Year's Day. That whole week always seems very surreal, as if the whole world were still working on bought time. Many people are still on vacation and the kids are not in school. Consumers shuffle around returns and pick up accessories for the gifts they did keep. Everything seems to be happening while we are waiting for the snooze button to go off at midnight New Year's Eve.
Aside from all that holiday ennui, I have also been busy with all our Christmas gifts! WOO HOO!
And after many years of watching video game play uploads on You Tube, I can now say that we have WAY TO MANY VIDEO GAMES in the house.
Amanda's parents got us a Wii and Wii Sports! And a Wii Fit! Then we bought Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Brother Brawl!
I would say that my thumbs hurt, but because it is a Wii, that means my whole damn body hurts. I know that leaning forward on the Wiimote does not give you a speed boost in Mario Kart, but hell if I won't try when I have everyone behind gunning for me with every kind of shell. Wii Sports reminds me I never learned how to follow through on my baseball swing, but I am happy that I do not let go of the remote, which always happened to me with the real bat. High school gym class was a lot of fun...
Nothing like having a video game machine prove to you how out of shape you are. After the first day on the Wii Fit, I was so sore that I thought I had just fought Ivan Drago. I am getting better and already cut my Wii Fit age from 41 (Oy vey!) to 21 (Hello ladies! Look how good I am at Rhythm Boxing!). My weight keeps zigzagging up and down the graph, which I attest more to variables like body hair and recent bowel movements. Hell yeah, I'm getting skinny. Well, maybe...
It told me I was fat...
Sorry for being AWOL for that odd time between X-mas and New Year's Day. That whole week always seems very surreal, as if the whole world were still working on bought time. Many people are still on vacation and the kids are not in school. Consumers shuffle around returns and pick up accessories for the gifts they did keep. Everything seems to be happening while we are waiting for the snooze button to go off at midnight New Year's Eve.
Aside from all that holiday ennui, I have also been busy with all our Christmas gifts! WOO HOO!
And after many years of watching video game play uploads on You Tube, I can now say that we have WAY TO MANY VIDEO GAMES in the house.
Amanda's parents got us a Wii and Wii Sports! And a Wii Fit! Then we bought Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Brother Brawl!
I would say that my thumbs hurt, but because it is a Wii, that means my whole damn body hurts. I know that leaning forward on the Wiimote does not give you a speed boost in Mario Kart, but hell if I won't try when I have everyone behind gunning for me with every kind of shell. Wii Sports reminds me I never learned how to follow through on my baseball swing, but I am happy that I do not let go of the remote, which always happened to me with the real bat. High school gym class was a lot of fun...
Nothing like having a video game machine prove to you how out of shape you are. After the first day on the Wii Fit, I was so sore that I thought I had just fought Ivan Drago. I am getting better and already cut my Wii Fit age from 41 (Oy vey!) to 21 (Hello ladies! Look how good I am at Rhythm Boxing!). My weight keeps zigzagging up and down the graph, which I attest more to variables like body hair and recent bowel movements. Hell yeah, I'm getting skinny. Well, maybe...
It told me I was fat...
More stories on our video game adventures later in the week.
Peace!
Peace!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The Best!
2009 is winding down and I always think it is helpful to reflect on the year and its various highs and lows.
On a personal level, it was a mostly great year that saw Amanda and I get married and spend our first year in Cleveland.
However, if I must find something that truly was the best thing ever about 2009 then it would have to be the following...
And the Christian tradition begot Lent. And Lent begot the Fish o Filet sandwich. And the Fish O Fillet sandwich begot.....
Happy New Year 2010!
On a personal level, it was a mostly great year that saw Amanda and I get married and spend our first year in Cleveland.
However, if I must find something that truly was the best thing ever about 2009 then it would have to be the following...
And the Christian tradition begot Lent. And Lent begot the Fish o Filet sandwich. And the Fish O Fillet sandwich begot.....
THE BEST THING EVER!
Happy New Year 2010!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
CGI Overload?
Speaking of Avatar and the clash between amazing visuals and lame storytelling, you should check out this interview between James Cameron and Peter Jackson that was reproduced on Slate. I found one bit from Jackson to be very salient. It summarizes my feelings about Avatar in a succinct format that does not mention Dune, Final Fantasy, or Transformers. I have quoted it below...
"Jackson: There are all great tools that people haven't quite gotten their heads around yet. But one of the things that has happened [is that] people focus on technology. Probably the film industry has been guilty; there's more attention spent on the technical aspects than the story. That's led to a self-fulfilling prophecy. People regard CGI as a gimmick, they almost blame CGI for a bad story or a bad script. They talk about CGI as if it's responsible for a drop in standards. We've gotten to a point now where there isn't nothing else we haven't seen. We've seen dinosaurs, we've seen aliens; with Avatar we've seen realistic creatures. I think we're going to enter a phase where there's less interest in the CGI and there's a demand for story again. I think we've dropped the ball a little bit on stories for the sake of the amazing toys that we've played with."
Peace!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Blue Movies
This may come as a shock to you loyal readers, but, I did not really dig James Cameron's new movie Avatar. This does not mean that I hated it. It left me feeling pretty "meh," which is how most big, loud summer blockbusters leave me feeling. And this wasn't supposed to be a big, loud summer blockbuster.
If you haven't heard of Avatar then you must be either 1) A member of the Taliban or B) Living in Ithaca, NY. It is Cameron's first return to film making in over a decade and has been much ballyhooed as the next step in movies. Like George Lucas, Cameron claims to have been sitting on this for years and waiting for special effects technology to catch up to his original vision. The thing cost $237 million dollars to make and has already netted $232 million in worldwide sales in just one weekend. If it hadn't been for all the snow on the East Coast this past weekend, then it could have made A LOT more money, but it will soon recoup that.
Avatar follows Jake Sully, a wheelchair bound U.S. Marine vet that must replace his twin brother on a scientific mission to the new world of Pandora. Pandora holds a rare mineral that an evil corporation wants because it sells for "$20 million a kilo." Going to need a really big Invisible Hand to move that stuff. The planet is also home to an indigenous race of 10 foot tall, blue, quasi-cat aliens called the Na'vi. Human researchers have been able to create biological robots of the Na'vi that humans can pilot with their brains. The science team on Na'vi, lead by the always wonderful to see Sigourney Weaver, uses these creations, called avatars, to communicated with the natives and better learn their culture. The evil corporation, which has an army of mercenaries I dub "Space Black Water," wants to use the avatars to infiltrate the Na'vi, learn their weaknesses and get more of that rock. Sully mans one of these avatars, falls in love with the alien babe and epic battles, training montages, and PG-13 alien sex continue.
A ton of effort went into Avatar. Cameron and his team even created a full, working Na'vi language that you can learn right after you memorize Klingon. To this end, the film is a huge success with visuals that are hyper realistic and engaging. We have scenes that are filled with all non-humans and these feel as solid as any scene with flesh and blood actors. There are moments where the CGI melds into actual stage props. The lush backgrounds of the Pandoran rain forest feel thick and real with the encompassing bird calls and jungle tweets needed to add more gravitas. If you are the kind of person that reads movie reviews before checking them out then, yes, Avatar is a visual wonder with a world that adheres to its own internal and highly detailed logic. Even if that logic is not in and of itself logical.
My problem was that I am getting more and more tired of liking movies because they look cool. I like a damn gun fight, but I really want that to have some substance. And if substance is too much, then I prefer it to be campy and self-aware or fun. When it comes to the actual story, Avatar falls right on its blue face and picks itself up with cliched archetypes. It's Dances With Wolves, The Last Samurai, or Lawrence of Arabia, whichever one you want really, set in space. The final battle reminded me just how dumb indeed it was for the Ewoks to defeat an entire legion of Imperial troops at the end of Return of the Jedi. It made me think of Fern Gully and I don't even remember the plot of that movie except that the rain forest was good and bulldozers were bad.
One reason I did not dig Avatar as much as possible is because I am a nerd. The story reminded me a lot of Dune, which is one of my favorite sci-fi stories of all time. If you haven't read Dune, then please do before you see Avatar because the last thing I want is for people to think Dune is like Avatar! Both stories are a tale about a young man who must go to a hostile, but beautiful, planet that is the only known source of a valuable commodity. The commodity is currently mined by an evil group that must share some of that space with new comers hoping to learn more about the environment they must steward. The boy meets a researcher who has made inroads with the natives who are both stewards of the environment and fierce warriors. After a great betrayal, the boy flees to the wilderness, falls in love with a native woman, learns the native ways and becomes their greatest hero.
There are characters in Avatar that are near clones of people in Dune. Jake Sully is Paul Atreides. The benevolent Navi researcher Grace Augustine is Liet Kynes. Evil general Colonel Miles Quaritch is the Harkonnes except with out the child molestation, which may be a good thing. Neytiri, Jake's Navi love, is Chani and her arranged marriage Tsutey is Stilgar even though Stilgar and Chani don't hook up in the book. All those crazy Pandoran creatures are just trying to be as cool as Shai Hulud, the mighty Sandworm.
Speaking of nerdiness, many of the visuals, particularly the glowing forest reminded me of scenes from the Final Fantasy games and that gets me thinking of bad Final Fantasy fan fiction. And video game cosplayers. And then I imagine someone else thought that and sneered, 'Hey that looks like the forest of the Fayth that Yuna and Tidus have sex in in FFX!" I am bit embarrassed to admit that I thought this as the last thing I want to do is apply plots from video games into my life. Reminds me of the time I tried writing an English paper in the 11th grade based on the flavor text of Magic cards. I was that cool.
Aside from these comparisons, the movie is a pretty standard anti-industrial warning that says it is not nice to mess with Mother Nature. I'm an environmentalist, so I appreciate the idea, but this is also the same idea as Frogs. The end battle is wonderfully rendered digitally, but feels hackneyed and drawn from a hundred much weaker action movies.
Considering all the hype for Avatar, I expected something greater with those great visuals but something to support them with. Lavishing praise on a movie because it looks really great is useful, but makes me feel like we are just watching a video game demo.
Peace!
***Author's note***
I did not see Avatar in 3D, which is akin to watching the Wizard of Oz on a black and white TV. Maybe the 3D does it for most folks.
And yes...I realize that the guy that just wrote this really loved Transformers back in 2007. And Star Wars. One of those was dumb and the other borrowed a lot from classic archetypes of the kinght errant. Both were visually stunning and I will argue both were fun, which I Avatar was not.
If you haven't heard of Avatar then you must be either 1) A member of the Taliban or B) Living in Ithaca, NY. It is Cameron's first return to film making in over a decade and has been much ballyhooed as the next step in movies. Like George Lucas, Cameron claims to have been sitting on this for years and waiting for special effects technology to catch up to his original vision. The thing cost $237 million dollars to make and has already netted $232 million in worldwide sales in just one weekend. If it hadn't been for all the snow on the East Coast this past weekend, then it could have made A LOT more money, but it will soon recoup that.
Avatar follows Jake Sully, a wheelchair bound U.S. Marine vet that must replace his twin brother on a scientific mission to the new world of Pandora. Pandora holds a rare mineral that an evil corporation wants because it sells for "$20 million a kilo." Going to need a really big Invisible Hand to move that stuff. The planet is also home to an indigenous race of 10 foot tall, blue, quasi-cat aliens called the Na'vi. Human researchers have been able to create biological robots of the Na'vi that humans can pilot with their brains. The science team on Na'vi, lead by the always wonderful to see Sigourney Weaver, uses these creations, called avatars, to communicated with the natives and better learn their culture. The evil corporation, which has an army of mercenaries I dub "Space Black Water," wants to use the avatars to infiltrate the Na'vi, learn their weaknesses and get more of that rock. Sully mans one of these avatars, falls in love with the alien babe and epic battles, training montages, and PG-13 alien sex continue.
A ton of effort went into Avatar. Cameron and his team even created a full, working Na'vi language that you can learn right after you memorize Klingon. To this end, the film is a huge success with visuals that are hyper realistic and engaging. We have scenes that are filled with all non-humans and these feel as solid as any scene with flesh and blood actors. There are moments where the CGI melds into actual stage props. The lush backgrounds of the Pandoran rain forest feel thick and real with the encompassing bird calls and jungle tweets needed to add more gravitas. If you are the kind of person that reads movie reviews before checking them out then, yes, Avatar is a visual wonder with a world that adheres to its own internal and highly detailed logic. Even if that logic is not in and of itself logical.
My problem was that I am getting more and more tired of liking movies because they look cool. I like a damn gun fight, but I really want that to have some substance. And if substance is too much, then I prefer it to be campy and self-aware or fun. When it comes to the actual story, Avatar falls right on its blue face and picks itself up with cliched archetypes. It's Dances With Wolves, The Last Samurai, or Lawrence of Arabia, whichever one you want really, set in space. The final battle reminded me just how dumb indeed it was for the Ewoks to defeat an entire legion of Imperial troops at the end of Return of the Jedi. It made me think of Fern Gully and I don't even remember the plot of that movie except that the rain forest was good and bulldozers were bad.
One reason I did not dig Avatar as much as possible is because I am a nerd. The story reminded me a lot of Dune, which is one of my favorite sci-fi stories of all time. If you haven't read Dune, then please do before you see Avatar because the last thing I want is for people to think Dune is like Avatar! Both stories are a tale about a young man who must go to a hostile, but beautiful, planet that is the only known source of a valuable commodity. The commodity is currently mined by an evil group that must share some of that space with new comers hoping to learn more about the environment they must steward. The boy meets a researcher who has made inroads with the natives who are both stewards of the environment and fierce warriors. After a great betrayal, the boy flees to the wilderness, falls in love with a native woman, learns the native ways and becomes their greatest hero.
There are characters in Avatar that are near clones of people in Dune. Jake Sully is Paul Atreides. The benevolent Navi researcher Grace Augustine is Liet Kynes. Evil general Colonel Miles Quaritch is the Harkonnes except with out the child molestation, which may be a good thing. Neytiri, Jake's Navi love, is Chani and her arranged marriage Tsutey is Stilgar even though Stilgar and Chani don't hook up in the book. All those crazy Pandoran creatures are just trying to be as cool as Shai Hulud, the mighty Sandworm.
Speaking of nerdiness, many of the visuals, particularly the glowing forest reminded me of scenes from the Final Fantasy games and that gets me thinking of bad Final Fantasy fan fiction. And video game cosplayers. And then I imagine someone else thought that and sneered, 'Hey that looks like the forest of the Fayth that Yuna and Tidus have sex in in FFX!" I am bit embarrassed to admit that I thought this as the last thing I want to do is apply plots from video games into my life. Reminds me of the time I tried writing an English paper in the 11th grade based on the flavor text of Magic cards. I was that cool.
Aside from these comparisons, the movie is a pretty standard anti-industrial warning that says it is not nice to mess with Mother Nature. I'm an environmentalist, so I appreciate the idea, but this is also the same idea as Frogs. The end battle is wonderfully rendered digitally, but feels hackneyed and drawn from a hundred much weaker action movies.
Considering all the hype for Avatar, I expected something greater with those great visuals but something to support them with. Lavishing praise on a movie because it looks really great is useful, but makes me feel like we are just watching a video game demo.
Peace!
***Author's note***
I did not see Avatar in 3D, which is akin to watching the Wizard of Oz on a black and white TV. Maybe the 3D does it for most folks.
And yes...I realize that the guy that just wrote this really loved Transformers back in 2007. And Star Wars. One of those was dumb and the other borrowed a lot from classic archetypes of the kinght errant. Both were visually stunning and I will argue both were fun, which I Avatar was not.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Think of the Trees!
I enjoy houseplants. I use that verb, "enjoy," because I appreciate the interactions they offer. These are often something that the individual must actively seek out. They are plants, after all. But these moments, like watching our philodendron furl open a new and glossy leaf, can be very rewarding. I even enjoy my aquarium plants and how the Amazonian Sword has burst from the gravel so that its emerald leaves mimic the arch of an oil strike.
I have blogged about house plants before, so I feel this holiday PSA is both very helpful and pertinent.
Please, if you are tempted to buy a Norfolk Island Pine this Christmas, then do some research. Walgreen's sells six inch saplings by the checkout counter and they are decked out for Christmas with foiled line plastic pots and a half dozen tiny ornaments. And all for $6.99! Home Depot has two foot tall trees spray painted with glitter (Just like Britney Spears!) for just $9.99!
Yes, it is Christmas time. Yes, it has pine its name. But the thing hates the cold. I found that out the hard way after I killed my first Norfolk Island Pine after hauling it across the IC campus in the late December chill. And at night. I thought it could handle the cold for just those few minutes because it was a "pine." Why should it have a harder time than a Douglas Fir? Well...it did and the person who babysat it for me over winter break reported those early signs of atrophy and eventual death.
I really want to have a big Norfolk Island Pine like the ones you see in a waiting room. As a tropical plant, it has been exported around the world as an ornamental. I am still unsure about their ecological impact on a non-native ecosystem, but on a personal level they left vivid images of watching our neighbor's sixty foot pine tower over their cement bungalow. The prickly leaves of the youn
ger trees tighten up as they get older and each long leaf becomes a braided green strand with the luster of snake skin.
Unfortunately, I have had horrible luck with my various Norfolks. We have had so many plants that we have brought back from the edge. We saved a coffee tree that someone left over night during the first Cleveland frost! But, I, and only I, often kill Norfolks in a few years. The leaves begin to calcify at the stem and convert from a bright green to a mineral green the color of chalkboards. This hardening spreads up the leaf, leaving the tips still glossy as the disease spreads up the leaf. Too much light? Too little? Too much water? Too little? I do not know as I have tried everything and combed the Internet. Maybe one day I will succeed, but I am taking it easy for now.
The Norfolks you see marketed along with the rest of the holiday merchandise are long lived trees that represent decades of nursery growth. You see that dirt they come in? That means they are supposed to live for a while and not end up on the curb on January 2nd. Indeed, you can use them as an alternative Christmas tree, but remember that you are going to keep it.
Peace!
I have blogged about house plants before, so I feel this holiday PSA is both very helpful and pertinent.
Please, if you are tempted to buy a Norfolk Island Pine this Christmas, then do some research. Walgreen's sells six inch saplings by the checkout counter and they are decked out for Christmas with foiled line plastic pots and a half dozen tiny ornaments. And all for $6.99! Home Depot has two foot tall trees spray painted with glitter (Just like Britney Spears!) for just $9.99!
Yes, it is Christmas time. Yes, it has pine its name. But the thing hates the cold. I found that out the hard way after I killed my first Norfolk Island Pine after hauling it across the IC campus in the late December chill. And at night. I thought it could handle the cold for just those few minutes because it was a "pine." Why should it have a harder time than a Douglas Fir? Well...it did and the person who babysat it for me over winter break reported those early signs of atrophy and eventual death.
I really want to have a big Norfolk Island Pine like the ones you see in a waiting room. As a tropical plant, it has been exported around the world as an ornamental. I am still unsure about their ecological impact on a non-native ecosystem, but on a personal level they left vivid images of watching our neighbor's sixty foot pine tower over their cement bungalow. The prickly leaves of the youn
ger trees tighten up as they get older and each long leaf becomes a braided green strand with the luster of snake skin.Unfortunately, I have had horrible luck with my various Norfolks. We have had so many plants that we have brought back from the edge. We saved a coffee tree that someone left over night during the first Cleveland frost! But, I, and only I, often kill Norfolks in a few years. The leaves begin to calcify at the stem and convert from a bright green to a mineral green the color of chalkboards. This hardening spreads up the leaf, leaving the tips still glossy as the disease spreads up the leaf. Too much light? Too little? Too much water? Too little? I do not know as I have tried everything and combed the Internet. Maybe one day I will succeed, but I am taking it easy for now.
The Norfolks you see marketed along with the rest of the holiday merchandise are long lived trees that represent decades of nursery growth. You see that dirt they come in? That means they are supposed to live for a while and not end up on the curb on January 2nd. Indeed, you can use them as an alternative Christmas tree, but remember that you are going to keep it.
Peace!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Movies I Should Have Already Seen, Vol 3, #8
Now that the blog is back, we should also bring back one of the longest running bits.
This is the first MISHAS installment of the Hulu era. Or, at least the era in which I watch Hulu. That means that for you readers that want to play along, you can swing over to Hulu and watch the movie right now.
Watching movies on Hulu can prove engaging because of the comments people can post on each movie or show page. Because Hulu enforces an actual name policy, the posts tend to be a bit more put together than the average YouTube comment. Older movies and shows tend to attract many comments by what I assume are younger viewers often hammering the video. These are people that are also engaging in MISHAS and they mostly hate it. I read one comment asking for the movie to be remade with today's faster pace. That would be a mess with ten minutes of setup and another hour-and-a-half of gun fights. Every individual piece of every individual gun would be separately mic'ed to intensify bullet time effects. The famous mirror scenes would be cut short to fit in another gun fight. But, we would make sure to try and get a PG-13 rating to boost profits. Robert DeNiro would be replaced by a cut-up Gerard Butler and Miley Cyrus would be Iris.
I really liked Taxi Driver and part of me would have wanted to see it during its initial 1976 run. I think that it is a wonderful character piece that stands in stark contrast to the usual plot driven popcorn thrillers. I read some criticisms that nothing much happens in Taxi Driver until the very last minutes. Agreed that it does not clip along, but it is a lingering and long descent into madness. A weaker movie or a current remake of the film would try to highlight Travis's madness with dream sequences, quick jump cuts, or green screened hallucinations. The original film does that with a loopy soundtrack that exchanged between jazz horns and a screeching bass line. The noise really gets under your skin and makes it feel like the city itself is assaulting you. Some of the scenes seemed superfluous, such as the match strike conversation in the campaign headquarters. But this also helps add to the mental anguish, as if every inane conversation is pointless and hollow. The modern equivalent would probably be blog posts. That no one reads...
Speaking of the city, NYC comes off as gritty and dirty and needing that hard rain Travis so wishes for. This is partially a sign of the times as most urban centers in the 1970s were tough places to be, but everything gets to you. Like the Nostromo in Alien, everything seems old and broken making us wonder what life is there to live. The cinematography often reuses that same shot over and over again, particularly in the driving scenes where we pass the same traffic light or movie theater crowd several times. This helps highlight Travis's fragile mindset.
I read some comments that the movie has not aged well and should be appreciated as more of a period piece that was great at the time and for the better pictures it has influenced. I can understand this mindset and often used it for previous MISHAS pieces. I found Taxi Driver to be eerily prescient. Travis was anguished because of his experiences in Vietnam and coming back to a country that he did not recognize. This drove him to violence. How is this any different than the ennui and rage that motivated school shooters at Columbine or Virginia Tech. We all seem to be angry at each other and social commentators speak of an increasingly polarized culture. Travis felt isolated and misunderstood and are those feelings that existed purely in the post Vietnam 1970s.
I also think it is a bit short sighted to dismiss older movies by what they influenced. Does that mean The Godfather is a piece of crap because it inspired Goodfellas or The Sopranos? Every gritty, or attempt at a gritty, movie now disproves Taxi Driver's worth? Fight Club was great, but I didn't know it was proof of the law of diminishing returns.
It was also nice to see a young Harvey Keitel as the muscled up pimp, "Sport." He looks like a damn tank! Cybil Sheppard was pretty foxy as Betsy, the campaign worker and infatuation for Travis. 13-year-old Jodie Foster did well with the 12-year-old prostitute role even though she comes in the final act. The movie had balls to refer to a 13-year-old that could "make your cock so hard it pops off." Good luck saying that today even in our more "realistic" world.
Peace!
Movies I Should Have Already Seen, Volume 3, Issue 8
This is the first MISHAS installment of the Hulu era. Or, at least the era in which I watch Hulu. That means that for you readers that want to play along, you can swing over to Hulu and watch the movie right now.Watching movies on Hulu can prove engaging because of the comments people can post on each movie or show page. Because Hulu enforces an actual name policy, the posts tend to be a bit more put together than the average YouTube comment. Older movies and shows tend to attract many comments by what I assume are younger viewers often hammering the video. These are people that are also engaging in MISHAS and they mostly hate it. I read one comment asking for the movie to be remade with today's faster pace. That would be a mess with ten minutes of setup and another hour-and-a-half of gun fights. Every individual piece of every individual gun would be separately mic'ed to intensify bullet time effects. The famous mirror scenes would be cut short to fit in another gun fight. But, we would make sure to try and get a PG-13 rating to boost profits. Robert DeNiro would be replaced by a cut-up Gerard Butler and Miley Cyrus would be Iris.
I really liked Taxi Driver and part of me would have wanted to see it during its initial 1976 run. I think that it is a wonderful character piece that stands in stark contrast to the usual plot driven popcorn thrillers. I read some criticisms that nothing much happens in Taxi Driver until the very last minutes. Agreed that it does not clip along, but it is a lingering and long descent into madness. A weaker movie or a current remake of the film would try to highlight Travis's madness with dream sequences, quick jump cuts, or green screened hallucinations. The original film does that with a loopy soundtrack that exchanged between jazz horns and a screeching bass line. The noise really gets under your skin and makes it feel like the city itself is assaulting you. Some of the scenes seemed superfluous, such as the match strike conversation in the campaign headquarters. But this also helps add to the mental anguish, as if every inane conversation is pointless and hollow. The modern equivalent would probably be blog posts. That no one reads...
Speaking of the city, NYC comes off as gritty and dirty and needing that hard rain Travis so wishes for. This is partially a sign of the times as most urban centers in the 1970s were tough places to be, but everything gets to you. Like the Nostromo in Alien, everything seems old and broken making us wonder what life is there to live. The cinematography often reuses that same shot over and over again, particularly in the driving scenes where we pass the same traffic light or movie theater crowd several times. This helps highlight Travis's fragile mindset.
I read some comments that the movie has not aged well and should be appreciated as more of a period piece that was great at the time and for the better pictures it has influenced. I can understand this mindset and often used it for previous MISHAS pieces. I found Taxi Driver to be eerily prescient. Travis was anguished because of his experiences in Vietnam and coming back to a country that he did not recognize. This drove him to violence. How is this any different than the ennui and rage that motivated school shooters at Columbine or Virginia Tech. We all seem to be angry at each other and social commentators speak of an increasingly polarized culture. Travis felt isolated and misunderstood and are those feelings that existed purely in the post Vietnam 1970s.
I also think it is a bit short sighted to dismiss older movies by what they influenced. Does that mean The Godfather is a piece of crap because it inspired Goodfellas or The Sopranos? Every gritty, or attempt at a gritty, movie now disproves Taxi Driver's worth? Fight Club was great, but I didn't know it was proof of the law of diminishing returns.
It was also nice to see a young Harvey Keitel as the muscled up pimp, "Sport." He looks like a damn tank! Cybil Sheppard was pretty foxy as Betsy, the campaign worker and infatuation for Travis. 13-year-old Jodie Foster did well with the 12-year-old prostitute role even though she comes in the final act. The movie had balls to refer to a 13-year-old that could "make your cock so hard it pops off." Good luck saying that today even in our more "realistic" world.
Peace!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Into the Future
I almost forgot to keep blogging this week. Oh, it's not because of the busy holidays or anything like that.
Amanda and I got ourselves cable as an early Christmas gift to ourselves and I forgot how nice it is to have more than 13 TV channels. We got the next step up from the super duper basic plan we used to have so we have the most channels available before needing to get a digital box. Maybe we will move to that some day and DVR things, but, for now, we are happy with having taken a step into the late 1980s.
In just a few days of TV watching I must ask...What is up with all the ghosts shows? This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I used to be really into the paranormal, even starting an afterschool club about it. Yeah, I'm was that cool. I have grown more skeptical in my older age, but still find the whole genre fabulously entertaining.
Discovery Channel has A Haunting and Ghost Lab. It's sister network, Travel Channel, has Most Haunted and Ghost Adventures. A&E just launched the season premiere of our favorite, Paranormal State, but also has Psychic Kids. SyFy (When the hell did they change their name?) has Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters Academy. And Histor Channel remains the UFO channel, which beats being the WWII channel, but, not by much.
Ghost stories have never really been out of style. Hamlet has a ghost story within it not to mention the hundreds of indigenous and religious narratives on spirits. But, they must have traded in all their back stock of Ecto Cooler to become cable reality TV darlings. When I was a kind, we had to make do with the ominous interlude and a trench coated Robert Stack on Unsolved Mysteries. And that ran on Lifetime right after SuperMarket Sweep! That about juxtaposition. They should have aired SuperMarket Sweep afterwards so you could calm yourself down. Or we had to hunt down what channel Sightings aired on to hear the former local WKYC-Channel 3 TV achorman Tim White speak in his dramatic telenovela style.
Apparently....They're here and all over the basic cable line up. Peace.
Amanda and I got ourselves cable as an early Christmas gift to ourselves and I forgot how nice it is to have more than 13 TV channels. We got the next step up from the super duper basic plan we used to have so we have the most channels available before needing to get a digital box. Maybe we will move to that some day and DVR things, but, for now, we are happy with having taken a step into the late 1980s.
In just a few days of TV watching I must ask...What is up with all the ghosts shows? This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I used to be really into the paranormal, even starting an afterschool club about it. Yeah, I'm was that cool. I have grown more skeptical in my older age, but still find the whole genre fabulously entertaining.
Discovery Channel has A Haunting and Ghost Lab. It's sister network, Travel Channel, has Most Haunted and Ghost Adventures. A&E just launched the season premiere of our favorite, Paranormal State, but also has Psychic Kids. SyFy (When the hell did they change their name?) has Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters Academy. And Histor Channel remains the UFO channel, which beats being the WWII channel, but, not by much.
Ghost stories have never really been out of style. Hamlet has a ghost story within it not to mention the hundreds of indigenous and religious narratives on spirits. But, they must have traded in all their back stock of Ecto Cooler to become cable reality TV darlings. When I was a kind, we had to make do with the ominous interlude and a trench coated Robert Stack on Unsolved Mysteries. And that ran on Lifetime right after SuperMarket Sweep! That about juxtaposition. They should have aired SuperMarket Sweep afterwards so you could calm yourself down. Or we had to hunt down what channel Sightings aired on to hear the former local WKYC-Channel 3 TV achorman Tim White speak in his dramatic telenovela style.
Apparently....They're here and all over the basic cable line up. Peace.
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Gift From Hell
If you have followed my various blogs and their evolution then I have two things to say to you. First is thanks and the second is...I'm sorry.
In earlier blogs posts, I tended to rant and violate a cardinal rule of "Never say anything you would not say to that person's face." I quickly wised up and moved to my current style of random posts.
However, I must rant today. In preparation for the holidays I will blog about the number one gift from hell...
LONG SLEEVED POLO SHIRTS!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
In earlier blogs posts, I tended to rant and violate a cardinal rule of "Never say anything you would not say to that person's face." I quickly wised up and moved to my current style of random posts.
However, I must rant today. In preparation for the holidays I will blog about the number one gift from hell...
LONG SLEEVED POLO SHIRTS!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Long sleeved polos are beyond dumb. I am far from a fashionista, but I do know that polo shirts are also known as "golf shirts." Upon doing some more research, I also learned that they are sometimes called "tennis shirts" and were initially designed by Rene Lacoste, a famous French tennis pro who was also pretty keen on alligators.
Golf and tennis are outdoor sports that are usually played in the warm weather. Hence, the short sleeves. The whole concept of a polo shirt was designed as a nice, sport, semi-casual shirt for the warm weather! Why put sleeves on it? Should you be wearing a polo shirt in the winter? Are you playing tennis in the blizzard. The golf course in Trumansburg, NY had a winter golfing session. As a joke! If you want a collared shirt with long sleeves then get a button up shirt. Who cares if the collar is popped if you have to layer up over it?
Putting sleeves on a long sleeved polo is akin to inveting winter sandals or the Alaskan hula skirt. Makes no sense. I would argue that it isn't even witty or postmodern because they look just plain dumb.
My disdain for the shirts is compounded by the fact that my family always gets me one for Christmas. And in hideous colors like Whitehead Beige or Pothole Charcoal. God bless my sainted mother. She thinks that anywhere place in the United States, besides Florida, is locked in a perpetual deep freeze and that we have no stores in which to buy clothes. She always asks me if we have Marshalls, Macy's or JC Penny up here. Yes, mom. Where do you think those stores came from? Certainly not San Juan.
My grandmother, rest her soul, thought that it was so cold and backwards up here in the mainland that we had no running water and had to resort to rubbing wet, hot rocks over ourselves to bathe during the endless winter. Mind you that she lived in Mayaguez, PR, which, don't worry, you should have never heard of.
I really hope that you don't get a long sleeved polo for the holidays.
Peace!
Golf and tennis are outdoor sports that are usually played in the warm weather. Hence, the short sleeves. The whole concept of a polo shirt was designed as a nice, sport, semi-casual shirt for the warm weather! Why put sleeves on it? Should you be wearing a polo shirt in the winter? Are you playing tennis in the blizzard. The golf course in Trumansburg, NY had a winter golfing session. As a joke! If you want a collared shirt with long sleeves then get a button up shirt. Who cares if the collar is popped if you have to layer up over it?
Putting sleeves on a long sleeved polo is akin to inveting winter sandals or the Alaskan hula skirt. Makes no sense. I would argue that it isn't even witty or postmodern because they look just plain dumb.
My disdain for the shirts is compounded by the fact that my family always gets me one for Christmas. And in hideous colors like Whitehead Beige or Pothole Charcoal. God bless my sainted mother. She thinks that anywhere place in the United States, besides Florida, is locked in a perpetual deep freeze and that we have no stores in which to buy clothes. She always asks me if we have Marshalls, Macy's or JC Penny up here. Yes, mom. Where do you think those stores came from? Certainly not San Juan.
My grandmother, rest her soul, thought that it was so cold and backwards up here in the mainland that we had no running water and had to resort to rubbing wet, hot rocks over ourselves to bathe during the endless winter. Mind you that she lived in Mayaguez, PR, which, don't worry, you should have never heard of.
I really hope that you don't get a long sleeved polo for the holidays.
Peace!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Life Lessons from Jason DeRulo
One of the latest, hit songs not only guides young men out of infidelity, but also on how to get out of any sticky situation! Just remember that...
"Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
Check it out in several sample situations..
Situation 1
An example in the workplace...Beluga Heights!
Boss: "Johnson! Why wasn't the toner in the copier refilled? I just ran out in the middle of copying a 100 page file."
Our subject: "Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
What our subject really means: "Sorry boss. I was wrapped up in some paperwork and forgot. But when I get that promotion, I will get someone to be on 24/7 toner patrol. Or order Xerox to make a toner less copier."
Boss: "Oh, OK."
Situation 2
An example at home...Take it away Jason!
Wife: "Damnit! Why didn't you take out the garbage? The dog got into it and spread it all over the kitchen floor."
Subject: "Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
What our subject really means: "Sorry baby. The game was on and we were still ten minutes until halftime. However, once I get my government check I'll make sure to get us a maid. And I'll get rid of the dog."
Wife: "Oh, OK. I love you."
Take a note from the hit show Glee and sing everything.
Also, our researchers have found that Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" is helpful in getting out of awkward holiday moments like you re gifted someone's gift back to themselves or you make a face when getting another long sleeved polo from your family. Just tell them...
"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me
Papa, paparazzi
Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Papa, paparazzi
"Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
Check it out in several sample situations..
Situation 1
An example in the workplace...Beluga Heights!
Boss: "Johnson! Why wasn't the toner in the copier refilled? I just ran out in the middle of copying a 100 page file."
Our subject: "Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
What our subject really means: "Sorry boss. I was wrapped up in some paperwork and forgot. But when I get that promotion, I will get someone to be on 24/7 toner patrol. Or order Xerox to make a toner less copier."
Boss: "Oh, OK."
Situation 2
An example at home...Take it away Jason!
Wife: "Damnit! Why didn't you take out the garbage? The dog got into it and spread it all over the kitchen floor."
Subject: "Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do But when I become a star we'll be living so large I'll do anything for you..."
What our subject really means: "Sorry baby. The game was on and we were still ten minutes until halftime. However, once I get my government check I'll make sure to get us a maid. And I'll get rid of the dog."
Wife: "Oh, OK. I love you."
Take a note from the hit show Glee and sing everything.
Also, our researchers have found that Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" is helpful in getting out of awkward holiday moments like you re gifted someone's gift back to themselves or you make a face when getting another long sleeved polo from your family. Just tell them...
"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me
Papa, paparazzi
Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Papa, paparazzi
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A Tree
Amanda and I put up our Christmas tree earlier this week. I will not post any images because it is still a bit bare. We have never put up a Christmas tree before and considering that, our ornament supply was limited to just five. And two of them were a pair of those styrofoam balls covered in gold cloth. The fabric had started to fray on one of them and, in usual fashion, I had found them in the garbage.
We also got a rosemary Christmas tree from Amanda's parents. Ours looks a lot like the one below:
Pretty cool! I hope we can keep it throughout the winter. If so, then I am going to be putting enough rosemary on enough food to make Macaroni Grill jealous. Most of the food will be microwaved veggie burgers and toast, but it will be served Italian style. Mange! Mange!
During the blog's hiatus, I managed to write an article about sustainable Christmas trees for Lucy magazine. Lucy was an online, alternative woman's magazine that acted as a sort of counter-Cosmo with articles on health, life, politics, and art. It unfortunately folded soon after I joined, but the staff and articles were very diverse and engaged. The archives are still up for you reading pleasure. Check out my tree article!
Peace!
We also got a rosemary Christmas tree from Amanda's parents. Ours looks a lot like the one below:
Pretty cool! I hope we can keep it throughout the winter. If so, then I am going to be putting enough rosemary on enough food to make Macaroni Grill jealous. Most of the food will be microwaved veggie burgers and toast, but it will be served Italian style. Mange! Mange!During the blog's hiatus, I managed to write an article about sustainable Christmas trees for Lucy magazine. Lucy was an online, alternative woman's magazine that acted as a sort of counter-Cosmo with articles on health, life, politics, and art. It unfortunately folded soon after I joined, but the staff and articles were very diverse and engaged. The archives are still up for you reading pleasure. Check out my tree article!
Peace!
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Working Online
How does one get a job putting up fake job listings on Craigslist? Cause I want that job!
I swear that pretty much every posting on admin/office jobs is a fake. Receptionists jobs that pay $25 an hour with no experience necessary! Sweet! With all the receptionists and secretaries needed and working, who is actually calling into these offices?
And each ad saying that some club owners wants dancers and girls for his club is an attempt to get girls to undress. Does Cleveland really have that many strip joints? I don't even think Las Vegas or Atlantic City has this much demand for dancers and "photographic models" It seems that every day some rookie club owner is looking for the right girl to call Destiny and light up his mirrored cat walks. C;mon guys! Why work so hard to look at some girls when YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET!
Is this just hundreds of enterprising scammers? Or is there a con man guild?
Peace!
I swear that pretty much every posting on admin/office jobs is a fake. Receptionists jobs that pay $25 an hour with no experience necessary! Sweet! With all the receptionists and secretaries needed and working, who is actually calling into these offices?
And each ad saying that some club owners wants dancers and girls for his club is an attempt to get girls to undress. Does Cleveland really have that many strip joints? I don't even think Las Vegas or Atlantic City has this much demand for dancers and "photographic models" It seems that every day some rookie club owner is looking for the right girl to call Destiny and light up his mirrored cat walks. C;mon guys! Why work so hard to look at some girls when YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET!
Is this just hundreds of enterprising scammers? Or is there a con man guild?
Peace!
Monday, December 07, 2009
Finish Line
Speaking of television of necessity, we have become big fans of The Amazing Race.
Actually, I am bit sorry I did not start watching this show earlier considering it has been on since 2001 and it has nice geography theme to it. It is also originated in the U.S., which is very unusual for any popular reality show, hell, any show, here in the U.S. I also appreciate that contestants have a bigger motivation to win and not spin their fifteen minutes of fame into a larger faux celebrity status. Contestants are often antagonized by their very partner, which doesn't seem catty, but realistic when you make a pair of newlyweds race around the world. Amanda and I agreed that we would KILL each other if we were on the race.
The show aired its 15th season finale yesterday and lovebirds Meghan and Cheyne won. Congrats! The good news is that you won. The bad news is that now you really need to get married. No more of this will they, won't they dating. There is $1 million dollars to consider, you know.
Meghan and Cheyne were not my favorites. I was rooting for the Harlem Globetrotters, Flight Time and Big Easy. Alas, they did not make it to the final after getting tied up in an obstacle that made them sort out the word Franz from a word jumble. One of the few times the Globetrotters lose and it had to be on Amazing Race! It didn't help that they were betrayed by one of the Amazing Douche Bag Brothers. I guess some viewers appreciated the brothers constant bickering, but it did not help that each arguments was a nasal whine. You could hear those nostrils take a nice breath before someone uttered, "I'm tryyyyyinnnng, Dan!" or "Shut upppppp, Sam!"
While I like the show, I must admit to several face palm moments that made me clutch the couch cushions. As a geography nerd, it is painful to hear Cheyne ask a cab driver, "What country is Monaco in?" or "We need to go to the country of Prague!" Or hearing one of the Amazing Douche Bag Brothers pronounce Monaco as Moe-na-coe. Yeesh. Almost as horrible as the time the local CBS affilitate, WOIO, spelled Czech Republic as Check Republic and told us that the Soviets had invaded South Ossetia in 2008.
Peace!
Actually, I am bit sorry I did not start watching this show earlier considering it has been on since 2001 and it has nice geography theme to it. It is also originated in the U.S., which is very unusual for any popular reality show, hell, any show, here in the U.S. I also appreciate that contestants have a bigger motivation to win and not spin their fifteen minutes of fame into a larger faux celebrity status. Contestants are often antagonized by their very partner, which doesn't seem catty, but realistic when you make a pair of newlyweds race around the world. Amanda and I agreed that we would KILL each other if we were on the race.
The show aired its 15th season finale yesterday and lovebirds Meghan and Cheyne won. Congrats! The good news is that you won. The bad news is that now you really need to get married. No more of this will they, won't they dating. There is $1 million dollars to consider, you know.
Meghan and Cheyne were not my favorites. I was rooting for the Harlem Globetrotters, Flight Time and Big Easy. Alas, they did not make it to the final after getting tied up in an obstacle that made them sort out the word Franz from a word jumble. One of the few times the Globetrotters lose and it had to be on Amazing Race! It didn't help that they were betrayed by one of the Amazing Douche Bag Brothers. I guess some viewers appreciated the brothers constant bickering, but it did not help that each arguments was a nasal whine. You could hear those nostrils take a nice breath before someone uttered, "I'm tryyyyyinnnng, Dan!" or "Shut upppppp, Sam!"
While I like the show, I must admit to several face palm moments that made me clutch the couch cushions. As a geography nerd, it is painful to hear Cheyne ask a cab driver, "What country is Monaco in?" or "We need to go to the country of Prague!" Or hearing one of the Amazing Douche Bag Brothers pronounce Monaco as Moe-na-coe. Yeesh. Almost as horrible as the time the local CBS affilitate, WOIO, spelled Czech Republic as Check Republic and told us that the Soviets had invaded South Ossetia in 2008.
Peace!
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